IVF - Taking time off work

[21RsMama]

Hello, just looking for a bit of advice... I'm about to start stims for my second round of IVF which will be our last try as we can't afford to do it again. I'm so overwhelmed and stressed with the worries of IVF in general and work/life. I'm making silly errors in work and getting easily frustrated/upset at home as my head is all over the place.

Our last cycle failed as I ovulated early and no eggs were collected. Because this is our last shot, I feel like I need to take some time off work and just be fully present and rested for the next few weeks however, I feel ill at the thought of going on the sick from work. The only time I've been 'on the sick' was when we lost our baby in the second trimester in 2024. I don't even know how I would say it. My boss knows I'm going through IVF and I'm general they have been supportive, which makes me feel even worse at needing some time.

Anyone able to offer some advice that might give me the confidence to speak up xx

Sorry 1 egg was collected last time in the fluid. It just wasnt mature enough to work with. Just wanted to add that. It was a really hard experience as we have so many well responding follicles. So sad that I ovulated early.

Sorry you are going through this. I had a couple of cancelled cycles and its so heartbreaking when you feel like you are finally getting somewhere, then you are back to square one.

Do you have any annual leave you can take? It might be easier way of getting a break than having to explain yourself to anyone or get a doctors note signed off.

Yeah I find the actual IVF not too bad but it's the emotional side of it that's so draining. I do have days but if I use them I'm eating up Christmas and Easter days. And it would be a week max, which honestly I think I'd just go back to all my work waiting for me if I was 'on holiday' for a week 🥲

You don't have to tell your employer why your off sick, would it make you feel better if you said you told a white lie and said you had a stomach bug you can't seem to shift? I'm sorry to hear about your loss and your first egg collection. It is a very tough journey. Put yourself first x

Hello. I haven’t been in your situation exactly but I have been through two failed cycles. My advice to you would be to phone your doctor and explain how stressed you are, they will more than likely sign you off. That way, all you have to say to your boss is that you’ve been signed off with stress. I did this after my first failed round because my work were very unsupportive, it helped me an awful lot. As this is your last shot, I think it’s worth trying to minimise your stress as much as possible. Good luck x

Absolutely agree with last post. I asked my GP to sign me off for the two week wait and they did it via a message and sent me a sick note. I felt like I need the validation of the a doctor saying I needed time off and it was so easy to do. I wish I had done it before but now I know I can do it for whichever part of the process I find most stressful, might be different for each of us xx

after the transfer the doctor gave me a sick note for the 2 week wait. Not everyone would want that but I have stressful job and just couldn’t really concentrate on anything but whether or not it worked. I was honest with work and they were really supportive. It was a successful transfer and now have a 16 month old. If you’re not up to work, speak to the doctor.

YES!!! If you can make it work by taking time off then do so. I was very fortunate enough that when ivf just wasnt working for us and I was unable to do light duties in my job that I was able to quit my job as hubby's business made enough to support our family and I was able to just concentrate on ivf. In the end it took us another year after leaving my job to have a successful transfer and im now a sahm to my children.. obviously this cant work for everyone but even just some self care and rest without the extra work load can make all the difference.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experience. I think deep down it's just stigma/guilt that is stopping me from taking a few weeks off. But ultimately if anyone else asked me I'd be telling them strongly 'take the time'. 2 or 3 weeks off is such a small thing in the grand scheme of life (and infertility battles!). I know I'll never get this chance again as we just can't afford it. So really I should be focusing all my attention on staying calm, resting and not worrying about an email or deadline coming in.

Thanks so much for your support ladies ❤️