I need new friends!

[Deedeebob]

this infertility journey has made me so lonely. I feel like I’ve had to back away from some friends, especially the insensitive ones! Anyone else feel the same? Xx

Oh yes!

I also had a cousin who miscarried the same month as me, we supported each other and it was a genuine lifeline as a close friend of mine was recently pregnant and pretty obnoxious with scan pictures and ‘it’s my special time’ and a don't ruin it attitude. It drove me to a breakdown.

Cousin was then pregnant again within a few months. Immediate amnesia for how insensitive it can feel on the other side. She has since given me space since I pulled back.

wiide berth for the pair of them ever since though. Ive seen a new side to a lot of people, some good!! But many bad.

I have found telling people about it has made things a bit easier, but you have to gauge it carefully as then some people ask how you’re doing to ‘check in’ which is sometimes unwanted so I’ve had to just say I’ll update you if have we have any news we want to share, just please dont ask, or hand me scan pictures out of the blue. It’s been a ride but slightly easier and less stressful the past 2 years since I said that to my closest friends and family.

it is so shit isn’t it. I’m just really struggling to navigate the loneliness. One of my friends told me how her life is now all about her mum friends and play dates. Made me feel like utter shit tbh. If there is anyone out there that would like to be ‘non mum’ friends then let me know 🤣

I am not currently trying to conceive but due to medical reasons I have started the egg freezing process. But I have met 2 beautiful women that are in the process of trying to conceive and I feel that understanding them, to some extend at least, is very important to them. There is just something different about talking about this with people who go through it as well, or at least feel compassionate about the journey <3

Glad I’m not the only one! My best friend of 15 years started trying 3 years after we did, got pregnant on her 2nd month of trying naturally, and now her little one is 1 year old. I felt I was there for her, attended her baby shower 2 weeks after we miscarried, went to see her little one when he was born, but then she went distant. I don’t know if she felt awkward or what, but I never showed it and carried on like normal. We haven’t spoken in a few months, and it’s crazy because I would have been there for her and adored her little one, but I think she feels awkward or goodness knows what, but I’ve stepped back.

but yes, I also feel very lonely, she was one of the few people I would share my infertility journey too, and I can’t now. My younger sister was the other one, (she’s now also pregnant), but we are close and I continue to share things with her.
but the loneliness is still there when you see everyone moving on to the next stage of their life.

I really feel this. I had a TFMR and fertility battle for 2 years following, and I had to pull back from a couple of friends with newborns as it was just too hard to see their lives playing out with how I thought mine would be.

I'd hoped to try to reconnect with them slowly now, but maybe they're annoyed with me for needing space for so long, or maybe they just don't have time/interest in anything but babies and mum friends now - either way I'm not hearing back from them when I try and make contact. It makes me feel really sad, we've been friends almost 20 years and they were bridesmaids at my wedding, but feel like I don't have a place in their lives anymore.

Trying to focus on good friendships in my life and the new friendships ive forged in the infertility world but its said thinking about everything that's changed in my life as a result of my loss and struggles