Unsure how to manage anxiety and work through IVF

[LouiseA94]

Hello!

My husband and I are currently on our 3rd cycle of IVF, on the NHS. This will be our final funded round, and I’m currently on our ‘2 week wait’ after transfer.

I think I’m really struggling with managing the anxiety from the treatment, and just being in the unknown on if this will work. And feeling so much pressure for it to work, because I feel like if this doesn’t work again, then it will be my fault.

I’ve been finding it difficult to manage work whilst going through treatment, and feel like I’m constantly falling behind on my workload and don’t seem to have much support. My manager is aware of what is happening, but no matter how many times I tell them that I’m struggling and I’m overwhelmed and need help, I’m not receiving any help and just feeling even more overwhelmed. And I want to ensure that I’m not being too stressed whilst on my 2 week wait, but can’t manage this at all. My GP wanted to sign me off work, but I refused as I know that I won’t have the support to cover the work and will leave the rest of the team with more to do. I’m just at the point where I don’t know what to do to get some more support. Or should I just take time off sick and focus on me? I don’t really know who to talk to who can help, as I feel like anytime I speak to anyone, they just don’t understand and think that what I’m going through isn’t that big of a deal.

What would your opinion be on what to do with managing my workload, so that I’m not so stressed each day?

Thank you in advance for your help!

I’d take the time off if your GP is able to sign you off.

You should put yourself first and not be made to feel guilty about that.

If you were in a car accident and admitted to hospital, your employer would figure it out until you returned, it’s not ideal. But it’s only 2 weeks and this is important.

If you can take time off that would be good just to gather yourself and your thoughts. Ivf is hard work emotionally and physically and unfortunately not many people who havnt gone through it actually understand how hard it really is. Take some time for yourself if you can .

Take the time off, you won’t get any thanks for being the hero and this is your chance.

Totally agree with this, put yourself first 💜

Definitely take the time off. Prioritise yourself and your future family. Wishing you all the luck in the world xxx

Def take the time off

I get the feeling guilty. I had 6 weeks off after a miscarriage and felt bad about work but honestly decent people won’t mind that you need time off. Take the time off honestly. This is more important than work. Your colleagues may have to take on more work but so what. I’m sure you would be supportive if they were dealing with this ❤️❤️

this your life.. take care of yourself.
hope it goes well ❤️

I totally agree with this! I’ve been the person resistant to sick leave in the past and I’ve never gotten any thanks for it. If GP is willing to sign you off it would give you the space you need. It sounds like you could do with some time to shower your head and allow your mind and body to recover - IVF can be gruelling.

Plus work simply have to support you if you are signed off. They might need to offer graduated returns etc which might be a blessing regardless of the outcome.

fingers crossed for you!