Frozen embryo transfer complete

[bc86]

Hello! This is my first post here. I am looking to feel less alone in my thoughts. I’ve done my frozen embryo transfer and am waiting on the result. I’m really not sure what I want the result to be. I know how mad that sounds. I went through with this because late 30’s and constantly unsure about whether or not I want kids, definitely dont want to regret not trying, feel confident I’d be a great mum, husband is really keen to have kids. I’ve not only done it for him. I’ve done it to save myself the what if too. Having said all of that, I’m also not even sure it this is just a subconscious defence mechanism incase it doesnt work. I have a great life, I know a baby would enhance it but I also know I am going to be happy either way. I just havent experienced anyone else personally go through with IVF without being 100% sure - so thats why I’m here. For hopefully a bit of understanding from someone similar.

@bc86I completely understand - and on some level - relate. Firstly, this is hard - going through IVF with all of this uncertainty, having to relinquish control, and trying to prepare yourself to be ok with all outcomes. I think it’s really healthy to tell yourself you will be happy either way. I have even started planning a list of things I will do if it doesn’t work and couldn’t do with a baby (so far I have a few trips e.g a safari, climbing Kilimandjaro, a massive 40th bday party next year, considering moving abroad etc- any ideas welcome).

I have a 6.5 year old, and it took me a long time to be ready to try for a second one (I am now 39, went through egg retrieval this morning). The first few years after my son was born were hard, on every level, even though he’s my greatest source of joy, happiness and laughter, my little ‘adventure’ partner, so keen to travel all over the world, try lots of things (when my husband is much more of a house cat who likes plain food lol).
But yes, there are so many things that were hard at the beginning, and I am certainly a little bit scared about doing it again.

thinking of you. All this IVF wait is so hard. X

Thank you so much for providing reassurance. I have thought about things i would do as well, big holiday for hubbys 40th which would fall in line roughly with due date if succesful and change my car to a mini as ive been buying bigger cars as we have been trying for so many years. Now if we just accept it then i can downsize and have what i want. The control is definitely a part of it. I’m autistic so dont always process change well anyway and in this case im trying to pre-prepare for a change that might never be. Youre right, its hard! I hope all went went as well as it could with the retrieval and that your journey is smooth sailing

Please can I follow? We're planning on undergoing IVF again using a frozen embryo in a few months. We are very fortunate that our fresh transfer was successful and we have a 2 yo little boy.
Wishing you both lots of luck!

Similar to previous poster, we have a 5yo and are going for our FET this cycle. The whole 2.5 years of trying, testing, treating, etc. I have doubted whether having a second is a good idea. I think a level of doubt and unsurety is totally natural.

How is everything @bc86xx

Hello! Found out on Thursday I am 4 weeks pregnant 🫶🏻 thank you for asking x

Oh a huge congratulations!!
My FET with my only embryo is next Monday!!!

All the very best to you!! I know how difficult the process is so be kind to yourself and take care🫶🏻

@bc86congratulations !! (All feelings still valid x)

@FluentTealGuidesome days like yesterday being with my son is so lovely I am just wondering why I can’t just accept I am already extremely lucky with one. IVF feels too hard some days

Congratulations OP! Hope you're feeling well x

Can I just say I loved reading this post as this is more or less how I feel. I'm 39 and have been umming and arring whether I want kids for years now - fiance is in the same boat. It hasn't happened naturally in the last couple of years (was hoping that would make up our minds for us) so we decided to go through IVF so we don't miss the last boat out. Currently waiting for PGT-A results, and we have some more embryos frozen if we don't get any euploids from the batch we tested, but am I 100% sure I want a kid? It's still a no. I can see so many benefits to being childless, and my main motivation for having one is not having to deal with the regret down the line... I'm sure if it came to it and we had a few rounds of failed transfers I'd start feeling more strongly about wanting one, but for the time being my fiance said it best - it sounds like it's a win/win for us whichever way it goes, cause we can built a very nice life either way (just very different). I just saw your other post saying you think you might be feeling this way because you're autistic - I'm not, and I find it perfectly normal to have these thoughts. I remember in my 20s I had a friend who was 19 and DESPERATE to get pregnant (I think she's got 3 kids now), and when she got pregnant with her first shortly after I remember thinking how this is the opposite of what I'd want my life to turn out like. Different people different wishes and priorities - all very normal. Also, regardless of my age, I would not want more than 1!

your fiance is spot on, a win win either way! Ive found out in pregnant now and all my doubts have just disappeared. Perhaps it was a subconscious defence mechanism from me im not too sure. I loved reading your response, its exactly what i came here looking for so thank you x

So happy for you! And I'm glad it's resolved the dilemma, hoping same will happen to us :) Good luck with it all!