IVF at 42 - realistic or optimistic?

[Seashells24]

Hello ladies. I'm 42 with an AMH of 5.2 with a total of 5 follicles. My cycle is regular (29 days). My 44 yo husband has a low sperm count and showing 97% abnormality. On top of which been recently suffering from ED so not been able to BD! We have a 4 year old who was conceived naturally, 1st go! And we've clearly lived under a rock since, thinking it'll be just as easy 2nd time round. For a while we were one and done but since last year been wanting a second. Because of husband's ED, we've tried to AI at home but it hasn't worked. So just today (after a call with a fertility clinic) we have decided to go down the IVF route to maximise our chances. What I'd like to know from my fellow over-40 ladies in this group with a similar amh level as me and a partner with a low sperm count is...how many cycles you had to go through before you got your miracles? any words of reassurance for me? should I keep hope? I feel so scared and nervous 😓 not to mention angry at myself for not trying at least 2 years ago!!! And I feel conscious that I'll be an "older" mum which i need to snap out of! (I think its because I look in the mirror each day and ive always looked young for my age but lately I do not!!) Argh. so many emotions and feelings im feeling today!

Well at 42 the chance of successful IVF is about the same as conceiving naturally for couples without fertility issues (assuming eggs weren't frozen at younger age).

It's certainly worth exploring to see what high quality eggs can be extracted.

In the meantime, also worth looking at what lifestyle changes may improve quality of your DH's sperm.

@Outside9 it isn't necessarily the case that IVF is no better than trying naturally at 42. The key is to sift through as many eggs as possible to find a chromosomally normal one. Trying naturally, you have one shot each month (or two if raised FSH is triggering double ovulation) and sperm and egg may or may not meet in a given month. And if an aneuploid embryo implants you potentially lose 3-4 months that you can't afford to.

If you try IVF there's a higher chance of fertilisation (particularly if there is male factor like in OP's case) and you can test multiple embryos in one go. A challenge is that there may not be lots of embryos that make it to testing stage/ a high enough grade. This is where multiple cycles come in.

I agree, I was probably unclear as I was posting when I should have been asleep.

thank you ladies. For a while these past few days I have felt "defeated" that I'm having to go down the IVF route but the more I'm reading, exactly as@sirensonghas said, it's actually avoiding loss of more time by ensuring healthy embryos are transferred. I'm feeling more positive now that I am armed with more knowledge. The only thing currently stressing me out is that I've not had my period and I am 2 days late. Definitely not pregnant as I had a hcg blood test 4 days ago which came back negative. My cycle is always, always 29 days so not sure what my body is doing as this has never happened before! Praying this is not a sign of peri-menopause just as I'm exploring IVF!