Not trying not avoiding, 18 months, never had BFP looking for advice or shared experiences

[tryingnottrying2025]

Hi all,

I’m looking for some advice or to hear from anyone in a similar situation.

I haven’t been on the pill for over 6 years, and 18 months ago we decided to stop using condoms. With the idea that if it happens it happens. Despite all that time, I’ve never had a positive pregnancy test.

I have:

•Regular cycles (28–30 days)
•Normal 5 day periods with only minor cramping
•Healthy lifestyle.

I discreetly started doing LH tests the past 2 months and definitely get a positive and surge. However i haven’t told my partner as don’t want to put pressure on the situation but do think sex timing has been out by 1 or 2 days (have roughly 2-3 x a week usually)

I rung my GP about this and she has referred me for an ultrasound (booked for mid-August) to check everything looks normal, due to the timeframe. She did say 95% of couples not avoiding should fall pregnant in 2 years and I might be the 5%.

It’s really starting to get disheartening. I thought by now something might have happened, especially since everything seems “normal” on paper. I’m trying not to overthink, but it’s hard not to wonder if something is wrong.

Has anyone been in a similar position — never pregnant despite regular cycles and positive Lh tests? What helped you move forward, or were you able to get any answers?

Thanks for reading — just feeling a bit lost and would really appreciate hearing from others 💛

Hi I was slightly similar, however I do have children. I conceived both mine naturally and they are now almost 15 and 18.
Now all these years later I'm with a different partner and for almost 3 years we were in your situation. No contraception, if it happened it happened kind of thing, regular periods lasting 5-7 days, regular cycle, ovulating etc...

I finally went to the GP, had a scan which showed a couple of cysts but nothing to be concerned about so we assumed it must be my partner as I was looking fine and already had 2. It wasn't until they refered me to the Ivf clinic and they scanned me that problems were actually found. I had a hydrosalpinx on one side and they thought my left was fine so there was still confusion. During the op to sort my right side out they discovered my left side was totally blocked and thus didn't show up any of the scans I had. They had no idea until they actually went inside me with a camera.

Since starting the ivf process I have learnt there are more things than I realised that can cause fertility struggles. How old are you? Have you had any other testing done besides the scan? Have you been refered to a fertility clinic?
If a baby is what you want then I'd suggest getting a referal ASAP If you haven't already as the process can be very long, with more time added If you end up needing investigations/operations. I'm coming up to 3 years now since my referal and only had transfer last week thanks the wait times, operation, recovery. I wish I had spoke up sooner and asked for help

Thanks so much for the details @Whowhatwhere21really appreciate it. My partner has a 10 year old, which is one less stress but understand things can change in that time! Trying to avoid IVF at this point but if anything comes up on scan then of course something to think about!

Im 30 and this is first time I’ve spoken to drs about it, I was really surprised that they got me a scan I assumed would be really difficult! She said depending on results will be the route we can go down for further testing if needed… I’m hoping in the back of my mind that during all this something will happen naturally. Another thing is I might have to bite the bullet and when I get a positive LH/surge to be a bit more forthcoming and have sex , as been not making a big deal as didn’t want sex to become a chore and still be spontaneous but obviously timing is the key too if physically I am okay….I feel like trying officially will just put a stress and strain on it and potentially make worse as they say. Especially if nothing happened.

Gut feeling is timing off or something like a cyst. Have no symptoms of anything, so fingers crossed nothing to sinister 🙈What scan did you have to check tubes?

Hi @tryingnottrying2025 You could go for an sis or hsg scan you can pay for them privately if you have the means. Consultant told me the test is not officially a “treatment” but many people do get pregnant in the months following the scan and they are not sure why (one theory is that it works by clearing the fallopian tubes). It can also check your tubes are open etc so is worth doing anyway.
basic tests like amh for yourself and a sperm test for your partner are a good place to start.

Oh amazing I’ll look into that and see how much

I originally just had a normal abdominal ultrasound scan and that's the one that showed a couple of cysts but nothing else.
It was the ivf clinic that did an internal scan and picked up the hydrosalpinx on my right side, but showed nothing wrong with my left. If they didn't have to operate to sort the hydrosalpinx then we wouldn't have known that my left tube was totally blocked.

I totally get you hoping to avoid the ivf route but it's definitely worth considering a referal still. I assumed a referal to a clinic would mean 100% I'm going through ivf, and it my case it did mean that. What I didn't realise was the amount they can offer before reaching that point.
They will be a lot more thorough in investigating any possible problems. For me they obviously did the internal scan which showed a problem. Followed through with an op which showed up the blocked tube. They offered a blood test to check egg reserves, they checked hormone levels to make sure they weren't causing me a problem. Some people ovulate but don't actually release an egg so that could be an issue. There is so much these clinic offer first before saying you need Ivf, and I had no idea they did all this which was probably quite nieve of me to think like that. But I guess if you've never been in the situation then you are totally clueless on what happens at the very beginning before ivf is offered. They won't just immediately jump to saying you need ivf, they will look into it throughly to see if they can pinpoint a problem first, it's worth considering if you feel you've reached the end of any options you can give to yourself 😊