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Original poster

TTC - PCOS and friends sharing they’re pregnant

28 replies

RowsOfFlowers · 19/06/2025 18:02

Hi.
I am recently married, and my partner and I have been ttc for the past few months. Unfortunately I’ve been navigating quite a few health issues, and I told my friends I was going for a scan on Monday and that I could have PCOS. PCOS has been confirmed, but neither of the friends I told asked me how it went. In fact one of them messaged me today to tell me she was pregnant and sent a pic of the baby scan. I said congratulations and then she says how was your scan.

I am feeling really hurt and upset by the lack of sensitivity and I wondered if others have experienced similar in their friendships and how you’ve navigated this?

I don’t know whether to say something but I feel so upset and angry right now.

thanks all

OP posts:
YourTipsyDog · 21/06/2025 07:55

RowsOfFlowers · 21/06/2025 07:39

Thank you @YourTipsyDog Thats how I feel as well. I’ve decided to distance myself from the friend who just dropped the baby scan on me. The problem is she’s compared me to a friend of hers who has PCOS and has a child and the second on the way. Yes it’s possible to still conceive with PCOS, but when you haven’t and you’re navigating it all for the first time, it’s actually very scary and real. Also everyone’s PCOS is different. I can’t speak for her, but my symptoms have been horrendous and worsened over the last few months. I think she was insensitive and uncaring. I was obviously one of the last people she told as well, and I think it was because I was in a group chat with one of our other friends that she decided to tell me, so she could then start talking about it openly in the group. Well, I’ve decided to leave that group chat now, and I’ve told her I’m taking a step back from the friendship.

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Well done, that’s a brave step but I think essential to avoid her upsetting you further. If she really has your best interests as heart she will think about it and maybe come back to you.

I have one good friend who I have trusted to tell about my fertility issues and only because I have known her for most of my life, I know that she will not be insensitive about it. However, we haven’t told any family because I don’t trust what will come out of their mouths. Even well-meaning people come out with the classics and they hurt.

Well done to you for protecting yourself. I have learned that nobody has my best interests at heart as much as myself and my husband, as hard as that is to realise. It’s great to have mumsnet to reach out to as I feel so understood by people in the same situation. x

VioIetMoon · 23/06/2025 18:32

I personally would sit down and share your feelings with your friend so that she can be mindful in future. It's natural for her to want to share her happy news but I also understand how you may be feeling ( I went through years of infertility before having my baby) I know what's it's like friends announcing pregnancies while your desperately trying for a baby. However, your friend probably didn't realise since you said you've only been trying for a few months so therfore at this stage there's no reason to suspect you can't get pregnant yet

Original poster
RowsOfFlowers · 23/06/2025 19:26

VioIetMoon · 23/06/2025 18:32

I personally would sit down and share your feelings with your friend so that she can be mindful in future. It's natural for her to want to share her happy news but I also understand how you may be feeling ( I went through years of infertility before having my baby) I know what's it's like friends announcing pregnancies while your desperately trying for a baby. However, your friend probably didn't realise since you said you've only been trying for a few months so therfore at this stage there's no reason to suspect you can't get pregnant yet

Yeah I’m starting to understand that now 🙁 I wish it was easier for everyone and it was more of a level playing field, ya know? x

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