Another egg collection vs continue FETs

[Blueskycat]

Hi all, I’m about to turn 35 and had my first failed FET a few weeks ago. We’re lucky that we have 3 more blasts (average quality, no PGT) frozen, but my clinic (NHS) wants me to wait for two periods before the next transfer which would mean next transfer in September. Not long in the grand scheme of things but feels like ages when time is ticking on and I know some clinics do back to back FETs!

We are completely unexplained so I am worried that if there’s a problem with implantation, it’s going to take a long time to figure that out with one FET every four months.

We’re extremely lucky to get three NHS IVF rounds in our area, but I’m considering sacrificing one of these to do a private egg collection now just to (hopefully) get more embryos on the freezer sooner rather than later. We would like multiple kids if possible, so we would use these in future. It would be a stretch to fund private treatment, but we could manage one round.

Basically: our NHS clinic is great but very slow, meanwhile my eggs are getting older: if you were me would you pause FETs and do another egg collection, sacrificing a free NHS round? Or carry on with FETs and see how they turn out?

Any advice much appreciated, including if I need a gentle shake… turning 35 is definitely bringing up lots of anxiety, not helped by a tidal wave of pregnancy announcements in my social circles

There is very little difference in egg quality between 35 and 36. Understand the frustration about waiting around - so you can proceed on those grounds if it's killing you - but you don't need to make expensive decisions based on Tick Tock quality grounds.

Try to zone out the other announcements. Everyone has their own path.

I personally would not sacrifice free rounds of ivf. Ivf is very expensive and the private clinic might not move much faster for your liking. You have lots of time left in the grand scheme of ttc especially with ivf and using your own eggs. Unfortunely no matter what clinic your with the hardest part of ivf is actually the waiting around for progress. Save your money for the future if your 3 rounds of free ivf dont work or you need private further testing or further ivf treatment. Don't rush yourself, the clinic are trying to make sure your ready and your body is prepared before you do any more transfers, sometimes the break inbetween is good so you get a break from the medications and let's your body naturally run its course.

Agree with the pp’s - I wouldn’t spend the money on a private IVF round now in your shoes, not if it meant sacrificing an NHS one.

Make the most of your NHS rounds because as heartbreaking as it is at the time if it fails, the doctors can learn from it and change things for next time - for instance they might change your med dose/try a different drug or sometimes after 3 failed transfers (the general IVF statistic that is supposed to give most people a 50/50 chance at pregnancy) they might consider agreeing to extra tests or add ons (like Emma/Alice or an embryo scratch etc). You can then use what you’ve learned from your NHS rounds and apply it to a private round if you need to.

I admit I am saying this from the perspective of someone who had NHS rounds at 40 and was eventually successful, so 35 doesn’t seem that old to me, even in fertility terms 🤣

Hi OP, sorry to hear about your failed FET, it’s really tough and you are doing so well! Just reading your message based on the fact you would like multiple children I would be inclined to look into further embryo freezing. I did three back to back rounds with PGTA testing so have a few more embryos for potential second baby whilst my eggs were as young as they are ever going to be. Fingers crossed your next FET is successful then you have 9 months of pregnancy and once the baby is here the last thing you want is be jump straight back into ivf. I suppose it depends on your reason for needing ivf though, if you have low AMH then I would consider if more seriously. Maybe see if your next FET works on the NHS and if it doesn’t then consider different options? All the best to you xxx

@LAURAPAX How many were you able to bank per round/ in total?

Hi @sirensong over 3 egg collections I got 12 eggs in total, 9 embryos and after PTGA testing x6 that were chromosomally normal (of varying quality but towards average / just under) I was 37 at the time of egg collection and had experienced two miscarriages from natural conceptions. Wishing you the best xxx

Thank you all for taking the time to reply and share your experiences. It is so nice to hear from people who have been on this journey.

It sounds like the overriding advice is to try and be patient and make the most of the NHS funding. Which makes complete sense, it’s just very hard in practice… @Miraclemuma03 you are so right that the hardest part of IVF is all the waiting.

I think I will do as @LAURAPAX suggests and at least wait for the next FET and see how I feel then.

Thanks again everyone, if anyone has any tips for staying patient and keeping my eyes on the road ahead then I’m all ears.

I think I’ll try and zone out other people’s announcements more as @sirensong says. I want to be a good friend and engage with people’s pregnancies and new babies but it doesn’t help with staying rational and patient!

And I’m trying to keep my life moving (progressing at work, trying to move house) but IVF has been disruptive so I don’t want to take on too much either… hard to get the balance right between keeping busy and making space for IVF.

Wishing everyone the best, I’m so pleased to hear that some of you have had success already ❤️