Navigating IVF and work

[LVR2025]

Hi everyone,

If anyone has done multiple rounds of IVF, how did you navigate work and appointments?

I have just completed a round and have been advised to do a second. Consultant is happy to start again on my next period which is in a few weeks. I have four weeks of annual leave left to do me until March 2025. I have no idea how on earth to navigate this.

I told work I was having a procedure previously and they were very accommodating with giving me time to attend appointments and they didn’t ask any questions. I can’t use this again 1 month on. Similarly I can’t book leave due to the changeable nature of the appointments and my employer generally states we can’t take more than two weeks leave at a time - the whole run from start to finish took two weeks of stims last time and then egg collection, not to mention transfer. Thankfully egg collection landed on a bank holiday and although we didn’t make it to transfer it was on a Saturday, but I highly doubt it will fall this way next time round. They have also advised a frozen transfer which is even more scans and apointments. It doesn’t seem feasible to me and it is stressing me out. It was actually the only thing that stressed me out during the last run, was navigating time around my work schedule.

any advice or tips?

Would you feel comfortable telling your boss your doing IVF? They may be more accommodating to last minute appointments x

I would really rather not but I imagine there is no way around it. It just feels like a pretty big thing to tell my boss I am effectively trying to get pregnant! My friend in work had a baby last year and she didn’t notify them of trying for a baby 😂plus it’s such a personal thing, I haven’t told my parents even.

I appreciate that might be the only way though.

Are you far from your clinic? I took minimal leave - 1 day for Retrieval and 1 day for transfer. For scans and bloods tried to schedule first thing and I got my husband to drive me in most cases so I could be logged on and wasn’t missed.

it really is stressful and I feel so bad for those that have to be in the office on set days. I feel very lucky to be remote. I also didn’t want to share in work.

Could you get away with just saying you have some health appointments without specifying IVF?

@sirensong I did this with the last round which I just finished a few weeks ago, so I do think it will be a little hard to do that again. I had just said I had a procedure and had appointments in the run up to it. The clinic is about 1 hour away but they gave me 9:20 appointments last time (I start work at 8:30) and I do work remotely but it is quite a lot of time as it’s at least 2.5 hours when you include travel time and the appointment itself, so even if I got the earliest of the day I would still be out of work for an hour in the morning. I could just take my computer and work remotely but it’s already a juggle. I think I will have to be upfront unfortunately. I could risk it and just go and not tell anyone but make the time up to cover myself as my work can be flexible, but that would be too stressful for me!

Thanks everyone for getting back to me. I read some other forums and people can be so rude but on the infertility threads everyone is generally very helpful and supportive and it is much appreciated!

As you’ve recently had time off for health appointments you could say it’s the same thing, your gynae procedure hasn’t worked…close to the truth.
I didn’t tell my work through multiple rounds of IVF, it was stressful at times. Once I used a sick day for egg collection as I couldn’t book leave.
My clinic was also far away, so even if I did get the first appointment (which was always in demand) I would still be quite late for work.

I think if you say you have some follow up appointments coming up and you will make up the time then do that.

My workplace actually had an IVF policy with paid leave but I still didn’t tell them as I valued my privacy more. For me, it felt like a lot of pressure for anyone to know. We didn’t tell anyone about IVF and I was so glad because it took so long I would have got fed up with the questions.

Hi OP. Slightly different here as not yet at IVF stage but just been referred and have had quite a few appts for tests/follow ups and also been stressing about what to tell work. Our work has an IVF policy so I think when it comes to it, I might tell in order to access to ivf days off, but I agree it’s SO personal and it feels unfair to have to tell them? Agree with Longer about the pressure too.
I also work from home so a bit more flexibility but only within reason.
sorry no advice really but good luck with it all ☺️

Thanks everyone!

I’m off the same opinion @LongerthanMrTicklesarms. I have told a few friends that I trust but I don’t want to deal with all the questions, dealing with other peoples emotions during it (their excitement, their disappointment, them feeling sorry for me when it isn’t really appropriate) so I haven’t shared it widely. Those I have told are ones I know will just check in to see how I am doing and won’t be the ones wanting updates, which actually makes me want to give them updates as they aren’t demanding anything off me. I know they are there if I need to lean on them emotionally which is enough for me. They are also friends who would love to be educated about the process and are interested in hearing about it from that point of view, not people who are just focused on the outcome being a baby. (sorry - sore spot! Clearly 😂)

So given that I don’t feel it’s appropriate to tell my managers but equally I found juggling the apointments and work very difficult. I work in healthcare too which makes the lying hard! They have an idea of what would lie ahead of a procedure.

I think I may be half honest and tell them I’m doing IVF to freeze some eggs and ask for the time off for that. That way I’m protecting my privacy re trying for a baby but won’t be in a tizzy about time off for appointments and can just be honest and upfront with it.

My manager supporting me with the time off before was male but there is a female manager I could approach this time which I feel a bit more comfortable with.

I think that’s the only way to avoid using up annual leave and to not be stressing about the time. The only thing is if they refuse the time off then I am a bit screwed!