I’m defeated.
I have an infertility diagnosis. I have moderate PCOS and was due to get tested for endometriosis in the next few months due to an ectopic pregnancy I had a few months ago. Both conditions increase the risk of miscarriage.
I’ve been with A fertility clinic through the NHS for over a year now. Every time I get pregnant (through medicated cycles) I have miscarried the pregnancy, but before I even get chance to hit viability, the clinic discharge me and cancel all future appointments. I’m talking the moment they find out I’m pregnant, there is no further help. After the first loss, I learnt my lesson from calling and notifying the clinic, I was expecting to be put on progesterone which is why I called, but instead was told I’m no longer needing their service because I “no longer have fertility issues” and was discharged there and then and the phone was put down on me. I was devastated and lost that pregnancy 3 days later.
It took 6 months and multiple PALS complaints to get back in with the clinic. I didn’t tell the clinic I was pregnant with my second pregnancy until I could confirm viability. The pregnancy was labelled non viable from the start and deemed a PUL but later confirmed ectopic due to symptoms and HCG levels. Was due methotrexate but miscarried naturally in the end. So I’m glad I followed my instincts and didn’t tell the clinic. Joke was on me though as it must have been flagged on my records that I was pregnant. I was discharged the moment my blood was drawn at EPU with a positive test result.
I was upset that they discharged me because the viability of the pregnancy was a question mark from the start and they would have seen that on my records as I’d read the report. Another month of complaints and I get a call from the clinic, they’re willing to see me and had arranged an appointment to get further testing for why the ectopic happened before resuming medicated cycles. Hooray! Finally progress. I was told to stop my protocol and take a break whilst waiting for the appointment which was due May this month.
Well BFP confirmed days before my appointment, a natural conception whilst taking a break and not on meds. I was so happy but also very scared. I’d started bleeding and was in a lot of pain. I rescheduled the fertility appointment instead of cancelling as I was worried it was going to end in miscarriage and my testing would get cancelled. I called EPU who scheduled bloods and a couple of early scans due to the ectopic risk. Signs weren’t looking promising after the second scan, GS was in my uterus but there was not much growth between scans, I was measuring a week behind and no fetal pole or heart beat detected at the 6 week mark + they had dated me back to 5 weeks again. I was right to reschedule the fertility appointment afterall, as once again I’m expecting to miscarry.
EPU have made me wait 2 weeks to confirm the pregnancy status and then I will have miscarriage management if needed. The scan is next Tuesday so I don’t have confirmation of the loss yet but have continued to bleed and cramp. I’m also on progesterone (thanks to my lovely gp not the clinic) so wonder if that’s prolonging the bleeding.
Anyway, I’ve logged onto my medical portal this afternoon, low and behold gynaecology have cancelled my fertility appointment that I had rescheduled for June. They haven’t given a reason but I assume because they can see I have a noted recent pregnancy on my records. I don’t want to call PALS until my scan next week so I can be 100% sure it’s a loss and will have evidence to support needing to stay in with fertility and keep my appointment.
I am at my wits end. Having multiple losses is hard enough, but to know I have absolutely no support or structure in place to find out why these losses are happening, is really discouraging. I plan on now going through recurring miscarriage clinic and Tommy’s for miscarriage testing but I still need fertility support due to still having infertility. Has anyone been through something similar? Does anyone know what my rights are as a patient under fertility on the NHS? I feel like I’m getting chewed up and spat out every single time. I was once asked if I’d been offered any emotional support for having lost 2 pregnancies in 7 months. When I said no, i haven’t, I wasn’t given any information on where I could get help and support I was just given a sad glance for a moment and then totally ignored. I just feel neglected and an after thought.