Deciding to stop trying due to DH age

[LuckyFlash]

DH and I have one gorgeous little girl who was easily conceived and is now 5. We have been TTC a second for 18months now with no luck at all. My results have all come back fine. DH had some sperm motility and morphology issues but went on supplements and now his results are good, just slightly low morphology.
we had a round of IVF which resulted in 1 embryo which failed to implant. We decided not to try another round due to the cost and agreed we would continue trying until my birthday - I turn 36 in June.
I just got my period and know we are on one final month of trying before the ‘deadline’. I don’t feel at all ready to give up, it’s making me feel so sad. I always thought it was a case of when not if but now it looks like it won’t happen for us.
DH is 44 which is prompting the deadline. For him, the baby arriving when he is 45 is too old and I do agree. I just feel devastated.

not really sure what I’m asking here but has anyone else had to stop trying before they were ready to even if it makes sense? How do I start coming to terms with it all? I’m so desperate for my daughter to have a sibling

What it is about 45 that’s too old? Is it him being a new father at 45 or more about health/risk, or likelihood of it happening? It feels a shame when you are much younger and sounds like it’s not what you want?

You don't sound at all resigned to giving up and at 36 and with your good results I wonder if resentment might build in if you felt you'd missed your chance at a second child...lots of pros and cons of being a parent at any age. My Dad was 10 years younger than my mum but she outlived him. My husband became a Dad at 53 and he's amazing. If you feel devastated by this self-imposed deadline then that's a feeling worth noting. You could always freeze your eggs as an insurance...I wish I had.

@LuckyFlash obviously do whatever feels best but I don't see a big difference between a child arriving with he's 42, 43, 44 etc vs 45. These are all basically the same age. If you want to carry on then do.

Thanks for the responses. He feels and acts really youthful at the moment. I suppose it’s just awareness of aging and how hard it might be in a few years. Starting school at 50, not being able to retire due to kid still being in school.
TBH it’s a bit of a moot point as we are having no luck anyway but interesting to hear some responses saying it’s maybe not as big of a deal as I think, thank you

I wouldn't give it in just yet. And I know you had one failed cycle already but id suggest to try ivf again, most of the time the first cycle is just a trial and error to see how you respond, another cycle could be completely different. I wish you all the luck on this journey and I hope you have all the success