Worried about 2nd Round of IVF

[MissEmily5]

Hello,
I’m sure there are plenty of people who are/have been in this situation on here so was hoping to hear from some perhaps with some advice on how to tackle the worry of it all!

Only people who are going through IVF will fully understand the complete worry that it might in fact not work…and that is a really shitty feeling.

After mine (f29) and my husband’s (m33) first round of IVF, we’re definitely feeling that sentiment even more. Our first round embryos didn’t even reach the blastocyst stage and although we’ve been diagnosed with unexplained infertility (we do have some issues flagged up with private past investigations but apparently not enough to stop us getting pregnant naturally), some of my eggs had a slightly oval morphology and my husbands sperm morphology wasn’t the best on the day of retrieval. On day 3 we had 6 embryos with two front runners and by day 5 only two slow growing (8 cell partially compacting embryos) which were both transferred and expectedly failed.

Now a couple of months later we’re gearing up for our second round and I’m just so nervous that it’ll all go wrong again… will we ever get to bring home a baby? It just seems so impossible and I’m sure that’s not the best way of thinking going into a second cycle, but with nothing really changing with our up coming cycle, except having a slightly higher dose of stims for the first three days, I can’t help but think why will this time be different.

In the past couple of years since we’ve been trying we’ve tried so much- reflexology, acupuncture, supplements, diet changes, cutting out caffeine and alcohol and so much more. We just can’t afford to keep doing reflexology and acupuncture this time around but we have gone back on the supplements as I know from my OH’s past sperm analysis’ it’s helped! So fingers crossed they’ll help both me and him!

Has anyone been in a similar situation and gone on to have a happy ending and bringing home a baby?

@MissEmily5 Hi and just wanted to say to you both that you've got so much time on your side both of you and in all likelihood, you're going to have success. It's so hard and such an emotional rollercoaster however it's also a process that becomes diagnostic over time though equally sometimes there's just no simple answers at least not that they can tell us. We had great blasts and no success, a very poor grade blastocyst that gave me the most perfect boy, now aged 7 ( I remember weeping when they gave me the grading thinking we were doomed!) and just general stress and worry at every stage when really there's very little we can do as nature makes it kind of random even with IVF. I think if I was younger now like you, I'd prob do multi packages abroad to save money, look at places like Prague etc. Sounds like you've been doing all the right things but make sure all that effort hasn't caused chronic stress and made your body too upset. I look at all the obese, chain smoking and heavy drinkers with their instant pregnancies and remember all my health kicks but it prob made no difference. I don't say this to disregard your efforts especially if you see improvement just that you prob don't need to do all the extras; it will just work out when it's ready to and in the mean time we just have to power through, plunging further into debt and desperation knowing it will be worth it. And it will be worth it. I'd love a sibling for my boy but honestly, every day we have makes up for all the ivf shit shows we've endured till now...just keep going!

@Sara237 thank you for taking the time to reply- very grateful for your advice and words of wisdom.
I know we’re relatively young in the grand scheme of things- it’s just trying to reframe the image of what we both wanted our family to look like which has always been 3-4 kids! A big family was always the dream and with our current situation our dream seems to be slipping away further and further.

It certainly is a randoms game- I’ve heard so many stories of perfect embryos failing and vice versa! So glad you got your little boy from such an outcome. I find because of that though getting the balance of keeping our expectations in check and hope the hardest. I tend to be an all or nothing person- either full blown hope or complete despair.

I think if we don’t have success with our NHS funded rounds we’ll consider looking aboard- that’s if emotionally we can handle going through it all again. I totally understand where you’re coming from in terms of doing too much of the right thing… in the past two years I’ve certainly ebbed and flowed with the amount of effort and mind space I’ve put into it all. It’s just too exhausting at times. But like you said you see people who really don’t look after themselves getting pregnant so easily it’s hard to take. I think going forward I’ll do something if it makes me feel good and hope that it makes a positive impact, as there’s no controlling these things.

I hope that one day you get to give your little boy either a little brother or sister like you desire and thank you again for taking the time to reply. Hopefully one day I can return the favour to someone else with a happy outcome of my own.

The other thing is it's a numbers game. 80% will fertilise but then about 30-50% get to blastocyst of which about 30% will be chromosomally normal so if you get one or two good blastocysts in an IVF round, that's a decent result. It only takes one. I know it feels overwhelming and is so physically and emotionally draining but each round gives you a new momentum because you're getting closer. That's good you've got NHS funded rounds so not yet costing you financially. Everything crossed for you both.