Starting a new job, now at top of IVF waiting list

[Sofie1994]

Hello, I've been trying for a baby for about 2 years and put off looking for a new job because of that. However after two years of endo surgeries, TTC and BFNs etc, I decided I needed to move forward in life in some way. So I found a new job which I start in about a month. I'm really excited by the job.

I'm now lucky enough to be at the top of the IVF waiting list and our funding has been approved - I was told last month this would take about 4-5 months but it has been much much quicker than expected. On one hand I'm so so grateful for this. But I am also very anxious now about starting a new job, being in a probation period, and needing to ask for time off and be open about my family plans.

I changed job because I felt so stuck and depressed there, now I wonder if I made a mistake. On the other hand IVF may not work so I didn't want to focus solely on TTC and neglect everything else anymore.

Has anyone been in this position? I'm not sure how to manage it. On one hand I wonder if I should delay IVF but we've already been waiting for a year. I'm hopeful for both things but I'm worried about their impact on each other

Thank you for any help

Firstly congratulations on both counts! I was in a similar bposition at the end of last year. I started a new job and was debating whether to have my first embryo transfer before Christmas (I'd only been in the job a month). It was a freeze all cycle due to risk of OHSS.

In the end, I went with it. After 2.5 years of TTC, I didn't want to delay anything any longer. Besides there's no guarantee that it'll work first time and I thought that even if it did, I'd be too happy to care about anything else lol. Turns out my first transfer didn't work, so we got through the holidays and then did another one, which did stick. I haven't yet told work but I'm thankfully now past my probation period so less concerned.

Hope this helps at all x

Thank you so much for your reply and for sharing your experience. I'm sorry your first FET didn't work, but very glad to hear you've had success the second time. Congratulations 🎉

This is really helpful to me. You're right, if it works I'll be so happy I'll cope with any awkwardness at work. And if it doesn't work, then I will have a new job to at least provide some distraction which my current job can't do.

Thanks again for replying x

You don’t have to tell your new job about your IVF. I used annual leave for all of my appointments, it honestly wasn’t that much time. You hear lots of horror stories about the drugs, so I was dreading it (standard protocol) but it was totally fine! The worst bit was the fatigue after transfer caused by the progesterone gel! Luckily our transfer worked first time. But I’ve got friends for which it’s taken a few goes. Hopefully having a new job that’s interesting would help be a distraction if it doesn’t work- you’ll have something to throw yourself in to (and talk about!!) besides the IVF. It really can feel all consuming.

Good luck with your new job and wishing you a smooth IVF journey x

Your new job might have a fertility leave policy and be supportive of you doing IVF, if you did feel comfortable to let them know? Bur I'd say don't delay the IVF, you've been waiting long enough and it can be a long road (I started freeze all egg collection cycles in September, have had a cancelled and failed transfer and planning a 2nd transfer soon hopefully, so it can be quite drawn out)

Thank you very much for your insight, and so pleased to hear you had a successful transfer. That's the thing, this may take time and I just don't know how it will go. I would hate to be in a job I dislike and grieving a failed IVF cycle. I just want success on some front at least.

Thank you x

They might have a policy that's true! So far they seem quite nice, I'm hoping I will feel comfortable enough to tell them. Obviously most don't understand how infertility controls your life and how I needed to start a new job despite TTC. I don't want to let them down but I can't keep putting my life on hold either.

I wish you the best of luck with the next transfer. Thank you x

Hi there, I was in a similar position at the start of the year, and I actually found the distraction and focus of a new job quite helpful. So much of the challenge of IVF is the waiting and looking after your mental health, so it was nice that the days passed really quickly with all the new job busyness and things to learn! Also if our IVF cycle doesn’t work then I didn’t want to feel stuck at work too, it’s nice to feel like something in life is progressing…

My job is 2 days a week in the office, 3 days WFH which does make it easier to manage. I haven’t told my work about IVF, but did say I had a “medical procedure” to take time off for egg collection. Is your clinic near your workplace? Can you ask them if it’s possible to have early morning appointments? I told mine that I was starting a new job and they gave me early appointments which was a big help too.

Good luck with it all!