Feeling bitter

[Dodeedoo]

I feel bitter today and I don’t want to feel this way. My husband knows that I am having a low day but proceeds to tell me that his colleague is pregnant. I don’t know his colleague and couldn’t care less if she pregnant, but this triggered me. I don’t want to feel this way but I am so bloody fed up with the cards that I have been dealt. Just having a rant, moan and feeling sorry for myself!

I hear ya! This TTC journey is so tough :( My husband is generally very supportive, but cannot seem to fully grasp why other peoples pregnancies are triggering, and always says things like “well * getting pregnant has no bearing on your ability to get pregnant so you need to try and not let it bother you”
As if we can do that!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 All I can say is be kind to yourself, I don’t think men get it, even if they say they do! Hugs xxxx

I completely understand how you feel. Every announcement is a painful reminder that you aren’t pregnant. For some reason I find the ‘accidental’ pregnancies particularly galling…in fact, I don’t even believe in an ‘accident’ any longer.

I wish I could give you some nugget of advice on how to cope with that feeling but I’m still searching for it myself :( you aren’t alone though, I’ve never felt a jealousy like it. Big hug to you x

@YourTipsyDog i feel exactly the same re these accidental/quickly conceiving pregnancies…… at least have the common decency for it to take a few years 🤣🤣

I hear you @Dodeedoo! I'm so envious and bitter towards anyone who hasn't struggled at all, but also recently even a little bit to those who maybe haven't had a totally easy ride, bur still much easier than us! Which is horrible, I really don't want anyone to suffer at all, but it just seems like we are getting so much ahit to deal with and I want it spread around a little haha. I completely don't feel happy dor anyone announcing a pregnancy, all I feel is why not me when we are trying SO hard and have been for so long, and had losses too.

It's only recently my husband has started understanding more why I find pregnancy announcements hard, after his good friend announced a 2nd pregnancy, quite soon after 1st, clearly no time at all Ttc and he's struggled with that. I don't want him to feel bad, but I'm also like, welcome, now you know how I've been feeling for 2 years!

It is just so shit and so unfair. I just want to hide away from it all :-( I have had 4 failed ivf rounds now. I actually feel terrified about the future.

It does make me feel quite a lot better to know that others share my feelings and I’m not a horrible person (she says, hopefully!) I now try to avoid all chances of hearing pregnancy announcements (I’m off all social media) will avoid certain people where possible if I suspect an announcement might be on the cards! However, I have been blindsided several times with these nonsense ‘accidental’ pregnancies, including my manager who was the only person I had confided in. Finding people in a similar mindset on mums net is honestly a godsend!

Yeh or women who get pregnant on their first try… multiple times. I can’t be arsed listening to them bragging about it lolol I mean they aren’t actually bragging but my bitterness makes me feel like they are.
I’ve had to distant myself from friends and it’s so seriously shit.

Probably not intentionally bragging but I do find it hard to believe that people are so completely insensitive and/or ignorant. I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked when I am going to have a child or if I’m pregnant because I’m not drinking. My best friend has had two miscarriages and frequently gets asked when she’s going to have another child so she takes great pleasure in embarrassing them and telling them about her miscarriages. I wish I could do the same but it just makes me defensive and tearful :(

I think people can just be so wrapped up in themselves that they just don’t think. It’s really annoying though :-(

I find it so annoying too. Especially people who tried once and got pregnant immediately who always like to mention it.. I haven’t told people about our struggles so it’s not that unreasonable but it definitely makes me feel resentful and I tend to avoid these people. I try to remind myself of all the other ways that I’m lucky and that if I had to trade my whole life with them, I wouldn’t do it even if it meant to infertility.

I agree; looking for the positives in your life is definitely helpful but sometimes these things catch you off-guard. On the day I started our first (and only- so far) round of IVF a colleague said to me ‘talking of kids, when are you having them?’ It took my breath away momentarily because I was so emotional at the time and I just barked ‘we’re not!’ and walked away. It seems almost comical now but at the time it really stung :(

Yeah it definitely stings. If it’s any consolation, you do stop caring as much as time goes on. I found my first cycle and first failed transfer the hardest. Now in my third cycle I’m way less affected than before.