Needing ivf - grief ?

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When you learnt you ' needed ' ivf..
Did u have a period of grief ?

Im angry / frustrated that we ' need ' ivf
To have a ' chance ' at being parents

I know its normal but yea

A few of my friends conceived through IVF, so the treatment wasn’t new to me. I saw it as a way to help me achieve my dream—just like any other medical treatment. When someone has a toothache, they don’t ask, ‘Why me?’ or wonder if herbs will help; they simply get the necessary care. IVF is no different, and I chose to focus on that. That said, everyone processes things differently. If you need time to grieve or interpret the experience in your own way, that’s completely fine. The most important thing is to feel psychologically comfortable and focus on your goal of getting pregnant

I know this is a bit old, but came here to say this is a really normal reaction to having to do IVF. Of course you're grieving/raging (anger and grief are so closely related) - you're grieving the years you spent TTC when others easily got pregnant; you're grieving the idea that you could just get pregnant the 'easy way', instead of having to put your physical and emotional health under duress; there are also financial stressors in most cases. Having to do IVF vs. conceiving naturally IS a loss. And it's harder because it's not an 'obvious' one. It's entirely natural to grieve that, even healthy I'd say. A counselling session before you start might help with this. But go for it! I was hesitant but forced myself and once we got started I felt a lot better about it.

Thanks so much

We are doing IVF.

Unfortunately our 18 eggs retrieved on day zero / egg collection

= 6 fertilised today / day 1..

Will see what day 2 & 3 hold

& if any make it to the weekend

I have some counselling this week

Thanks heaps

The drop off rate can be so hard to process. The wait for updates is a testing time, I hope you manage to distract yourself as much as possible and have a smooth transfer in a few days time.

To answer your original question about grief yes I felt a sense of unfairness, whilst acknowledging it’s not that unusual to need fertility treatment it also seems that (statistically) many people do conceive easily and it’s difficult not to compare (especially if they keep telling you which happened to me far too often!).

We are doing pgta testing on any day 5s
So we minimise miscarriage risk

Just saw that you will be doing testing l, so not transferring in a few days - in that case will keep everything crossed for some suitable embryos for you to transfer later. Maybe between now and then is a good time to speak to a counsellor? Or vent here if it helps.

Thanks

Yeah i have some nhs counselling this week from clinic

And some private mid month