It's brutal, isn't it? IVF and feeling overwhelmed

[SarahAndQuack]

A couple of months ago I did a cycle of IVF with someone who was a friend (there is a ton of history here; I am keeping it brief).

I'm 40; I've had losses previously, and I was really excited to be doing it but obviously also kept assuming each step would be a potential 'end of the road'. And step wasn't. And we got four decent-quality embryos, which, frankly, was way better than I was expecting, and I was over the moon.

And then we did PGT-A testing on them and they were all aneuploid.

And it hit me like an absolute ton of bricks. I think it's the fact that it feels like confirmation I'm too old. I know it's not particularly; I know that getting four embryos to that stage is some predictor of success if I keep trying. And so on.

But ... I just feel so awful about it. I keep guilt-tripping myself about absolutely everything I might have done to affect egg quality, and it's horrible.

Any advice?

Hi. Really sorry to hear about the disappointing news. I've been there with my first cycle. Had 3 good quality blasts and none came back normal. I was crushed.

I had a 2 cycle package, otherwise not sure I would have had another go. 2nd cycle I got 6 blastocysts, 2 were euploids.
I'm prepping now for FET in March.

If you can, I would say, give it one more go. They say it's highly unusual that next time round you'd have the same outcome. Maybe it was just bad luck.

Your clinic should also advise what could be done differently. I was moved to a long protocol for my second cycle.
They also mentioned human growth hormone is something they would normally recommend, but because I have a high risk of breast cancer due to family history that wasn't an option for me. But maybe it is for you?

I'm assuming you're taking CoQ10? For my 2nd cycle my consultant recommended I up the dose to 600mg (ubiquinol form not the generic coq10)
Also a bunch of other supplements but CoQ10 is the one that's meant to help the most with egg quality.
And what I did differently 2nd time was to really follow a low carb, high protein diet and drink lots of water and milk during stims.
Whether any of that made any difference, or it was just the luck of the draw, who knows...
I'm also 40 btw.

I would also recommend if your clinic offers it, to have a counselling session.

I hope your next cycle is a success

Thank you so much! Your post was so generous and just what I needed.

I am sorry you had the same experience.

My clinic said there wasn't a reason to change the protocol as medically it was working (medically as opposed to genetically). They had me on CoQ10, but I must check which version. I was doing high protein, lots of oily fish, low carb, trying to be lowish sugar. Possibly didn't drink enough. But TBH I felt ridiculously healthy - everyone said I looked it; I was eating really carefully and I lost 1.5 stone over a few months which took me from BMI a bit over 25 down to the middle of healthy.

Not heard anything about human growth hormone, that's a new one to me!

I'm really glad your second cycle had a more positive result - wishing you all the best with the FET!

Thank you again for your reply.

Hi OP, not a lot of advice to give really, just some solidarity. I went through it for 5 years. It was horrendous and all the ups and downs can really do a number on you. I hope you have someone to talk to.

It's highly unlikely to be anything you have done or not done regarding lifestyle etc - it really is the luck of the draw. I hope it works out if you try again xx