TTC And Looking For Work

[Beautyintheeyes]

Has anyone been in the position of looking for work and TTC? we’ve been trying a year and a half now, we’re due to start going into the process of IVF but I’m in such a sticky situation. I feel bad going into a company knowing I’m doing this process but equally I need to work to make the money. The reason I’m not in work is my last job was high pressure and causing so much stress we though part of the problem I’m not convincing is just that. I didn’t want to just continue in a job that ultimately made me stressed and upset whilst trying for a baby. Has anyone ever navigated this before? How did it go? Or any advice?

You wouldn’t not go for a job just incase you get pregnant, so I see no issue? Theres no guarantees ivf will work unfortunately.

No 100% it’s more going into it knowing I could, or do you think I’m just baring someone else for my own good? I don’t know with it being an in between stage and first time for me I’ve no children it’s just a weird time.

@Beautyintheeyes I know how you feel.

I have stayed unhappy in my job for way too long because of IVF. First because of all the fertility appointments and then because we were only a couple of months from starting IVF.
It’s easy to say now but in retrospect I think the best timing to change jobs would have been before starting IVF as this way if it had worked I would still have been eligible for Statutory Maternity Pay.
I have decided that if my current cycle is not successful, I will try to change jobs before my next cycle. The only thing that really stresses me out would be to miss work for all the appointments while still on probation!

I think the earlier you start a job the better it will be as it would mean more time working for your new company before going on maternity leave. Everything takes longer than planned with IVF so you might be at your new job for a while before you need to tell them you are pregnant!

@YellowTack Thank you - it’s just hard you can’t time everything right when your in your 30’s but unhappy in work but also trying for a baby it’s like the walls are caving in and all you’re doing is trying on all aspects but I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot doing what I think is the right course of action in the long run. I’ve not had the appointments yet but I have a call end of this month to start discussion so I have no idea how many appointments you go to or any knowledge as I have no close friends that have had to go through it. This potential new company is very small team and very hands on so I’m nervous to get these appointments and then go off for them when the position I’d be getting is a important part of the team so I’m just nervous. I hope you are successful, I have everything crossed for you.

@Beautyintheeyes you could see if the new company has any sort of Fertility policy perhaps? My work do and have been a lot more supportive than I would have initially thought. I've also heard of people discussing it upfront before starting a new job when then knew they were about to start treatment, could be an option?

For your info, I did 2 x egg collection cycles and for each had about 4-5 scans & blood test appointments, which took a couple of hours plus travel time, so for me it ended up being half a day off work really although if i hadnt had the easy option to take it off work, i coukd have condensed it a bit/worked from my laptop while waiting for appointments. Then a full day off for egg collection and in the 2nd cycle I took the day after off too. I havent yet had a transfer. So it was quite a lot, but fairly condensed over a couple of weeks

Working from home a fair bit helped me to juggle appointments/have consultations via video call rather than having to travel in. I also chose to work from home a bit more if I knew I'd be getting an embryology update and didn't want to be at the office.

Do what is best for you and don’t feel guilty at all. Someone where I work started their job and went on mat leave the day after starting !
I didn’t even tell my work I was doing ivf and managed all my appointments around it. I took a week of annual leave for egg collection but really 1 day would have been sufficient physically as I have an office job. Mentally the days after egg collection are tough waiting to see how many eggs/embryos make it so in that way it was good to be off.

I appreciate all jobs or clinics aren’t as flexible but I asked for super early appointments and managed to get them before work for the monitoring scans. The odd time I had to request time off I said it was for a medical appointment and didn’t say what it was. Most of the appointments are monitoring scans during the stimulation injections, I think these started off once a week and then became more frequent as time went on I can’t really remember, it probably varies depending on what medication regime you are on and how you respond. Best of luck with everything .

@Cornflakes123 thank you so much for encouraging me. That’s crazy, I have know women to do it just the companies have either known before starting and still employed or had good mat leave! I guess because I’ve not had my call yet and I’m not sure where I’ll be visiting I’ve been stressing as the fertility clinic I went too for bloods was an hour away from me so I keep thinking gosh how to do fit that around a 9-5 and it’s not an office job 😅i think all the unknown is getting me to overthink everything a lot and because I’m in between looking for work I’m really want to make the best decisions, as I was unhappy in my previous job for years. I’m still having to lose the weight to be considered for funding so I have time yet.

my clinic was a 45 min drive away so I had to get up very early but for me it was worth it because I didn’t want anyone at work knowing my private business. I suppose I was lucky my clinic was flexible.

i think if you are unhappy in your job it’s time to look for something else regardless of ivf treatment. Life is too short to stay in a job that makes you unhappy.

Don't plan your life and career around IVF. It's a minefield with no guarantees. You have to keep living as normal and slot TTC/IVF in amongst everything else. As PPs have said, it all takes far longer than you might expect too.

My story: I changed jobs at a time where I was having investigations for fertility issues and had been put on the NHS waiting list in the meantime. I changed not because I was stressed, but because an opportunity came up that I was interested in. I changed jobs in August 2023. By February 2024 I'd hit the top of the waiting list for IVF. However due to pre-booked travel plans and an unrelated medical issue, the process didn't start until September. Fortunately for me it was a success, but by the time I have this baby in June, it'll have been almost two full years since I changed jobs!