Secondary unexplained infertility - when to give up ttc?

[HM2024]

We are so blessed to have a wonderful 3 yr old DD. She was conceived quite quickly.

We've been TTC #2 almost 18 months and are getting nowhere. I'm 39 next month. DH is almost 42.

Have been to GP and NHS fertility appt and have had all the tests we can get from them. Everything seems to be normal. The only next step we have been given is IVF.

I am constantly thinking and obsessing with TTC. Trying random new things and online researching. I feel like it has taken over my life and making me so sad. I rarely let myself get my hopes up in the TWW. It hasn't happened so far, so why would it now, when nothing has changed.

IVF feels like the only option now. The chances of it working seem so low and the mental toll really worries me. But I think I'd regret not giving it a try.

In my head, I think we try for a few more months then IVF. If it doesn't work, then we draw a line under it and it wasn't meant to be.

I'm not sure if I would really be doing that or still be timing things and hoping though. The thought of giving up trying is sad. I look at pics/videos of my DD as a baby and really thought we'd have a chance to do that all again.

But stopping the emotional rollercoaster and constant disappointment sounds great.

Hopefully anyone reading this knows that the majority of people who have C sections go on to conceive subsequent pregnancy and scar defects are not common.

@HM2024 it was private. There is a lot of mixed messages about progesterone and luteal phase, making it difficult to say whether it really matters.

According to my doctor, above 20 indicates that you ovulated, but it's not high enough to be considered good/strong ovulation. As far as a know progesterone is released in pulses which also makes it tricky to determine.

@Krampers just to make you aware up to 60% of people who have had c sections have some form of niche so it is not as uncommon as you may think. It is an area that is very well understood at present by a lot of professionals and may not affect someone's first pregnancy after c section but could affect another. I got pregnant easily enough last year but is most likely the cause of my infertility since as the niche stretched. I am not trying to scare people, just simply raising awareness. Yes plenty go on to have normal pregnancies however if reading a post about infertility it is definitely something to consider that could be causing an issue before IVF as the niche will make the uterus unfavorable environment therefore making IVF likely to fail. Also there are higher chances of miscarriage with a c section niche. Believe me I don't wish this on anyone and I have been doing my research (I have a science background) and don't wish to scare, just educate.

@Mummysparrow hope you don’t mind me asking. Where did you get your scar defect repaired? I want to have surgery to get mine done and can’t seem to find anywhere. I’m too old now to wait for the nhs. Thank you

@Vic2025mine was repaired by Mr Arambage at Nuffield health hospital. I contacted his secretary and had an appointment within 2 weeks then surgery 4 weeks later. The repair was successful.
I am 36 so I get what you mean. I didn't want to wait for NHS and battle to get them to fix it

@Mummysparrow thanks so much for coming back to me. I called Nuffield Health today and they said they didn’t treat it. Maybe it was just that particular hospital in kent though. If you don’t mind me asking, how much did you pay for it? I hope you went on to have a healthy pregnancy if that was your hope x

I found the surgeon first tbh separate to the hospital and did it that way. I used an endometriosis expert who had loads of experience in keyhole surgery as experts in isthmoceles are few and far between in UK. It turned out he had the surgery a number of times (though I wouldn't say he was an expert) and he said that all the surgeroes had been a success. He was also a premier consultant according to my insurance provider. You are better off look for the consultant then asking them what hospital they operate out of

@Vic2025forgot to tag you in my reply above. It cost £7800 but that included removal of stage 4 endometriosis which I had no clue I had until the surgery. Surgery was in January and had to stop TTC for 3 months after. Not pregnant yet unfortunately

@Mummysparrow Thanks so much for your reply. I think that’s a good point and not one I had thought of, to look for the surgeon first. Like you say, there don’t seem to be many that are experienced in it surprisingly. Wishing you all the best with pregnancy x

Hi. I’m 5 years TTC after having my son, with 0 natural pregnancies. Two fertility referrals through NHS were declined, but we’ve finally been accepted! We have our first apt September. I know we don’t qualify for NHS IVF, and GP already put me on ovulation meds, so I’m hopeful to have an appointment finally but also doubting they can actually help…

Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. However, why you think your chances are low? IVF gets pretty high success rates depending on a clinic. But 35-50% success rates means every second woman has successful 1st treatment. Try to stay positive. Fingers crossed