Fet cycle after loss 3 years ago. PTSD

[Scoobywho24]

I’ve just started meds for a frozen embryo transfer. I’ve had only two transfers, one fresh which failed and one frozen which resulted in a loss in 2022.
I didn’t know if I would ever be in the head space to try again but here I am. I have experienced ptsd because of the circumstances of the loss. I’ve been in therapy since and felt somewhat at peace with the future. But now I’m trying again I feel that fear creeping in again.
I know for certain I would manage a BFN, but not sure how I will handle a BFP. I don’t know if I will handle the anticipation of knowing if it will survive.

has anyone been in this situation where they’ve been so emotionally vulnerable? As well as success stories, I’d love to hear from women who have gone through this again and how they coped. Thanks

Hi, just wanted to extend a friendly virtual hug and to say that I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine the pain greater than a child loss. I am sorry you had to go through it.

I didn't have a straightforward journey with my fertility, ivf and preganancy, and whilst in no way comparable I can relate to what you are feeling. I experienced a number of complications during my pregnancy, which extended into a postnatal depression and anxiety. I am also still living with the havoc pregnancy wrecked on my health (I developed a rare tumour, thankfully benign but for 4 months we didn't know that and I was in agony), left me with something akin to a chronic fatigue syndrome, my son had to have a surgery on hid kidney and his kidney is still poor functioning. I have also discovered thay it is likely thay both me and my son are also ND. It's been the most gruelling time in my life. And here we are thinking about doing it all over again. Just had our consultation with Ivf clinic, and waiting on for our protocol to be prepared. But yes all those fears are rushing back.

So just wanted to bump your post and say that you are being very brave. Keep on going.

@BeaLittleBraver thanks for your reply ❤️
sorry to hear you went through that it sounds so stressful.
I also have one child (not ivf!) but the pregnancy was horrendous, I had HG and a lot of pain due to hyper mobility. So the whole prospect of ivf and pregnancy is just traumatising. It just seems crazy choosing to do it again. Wishing you the best of luck in your next round x

Omg... I am also hypermobile and had nausea and vomitting until week 21. Then I had super frequent braxton hicks and a crazy quick labour with some complications.

I think it is so natural to feel the way we do. I wish I had more wisdom to share. I wish you all the best, you never know, it might just go super well this time. And I hope it will xx

I know, it does feel so illogical. But then, heart never listen to logic, right? :)

I am thinking about surrounding myself with as many happy experiences as possible and ban all the gloom from my life for when we go ahead with the plan. And in preparation.