Is there any hope?

[ScattyNat83]

Hi all,

I've just turned 42 and DH and I are desperate to have our first baby. We started ttc in 2015 and after 2.5 years of trying and then multiple tests, we have been told that IVF is our only option. It took me some time (years) to process this fact and here I am now. We have one free round available to us on the NHS but I need to get my BMI down. We also need to have started stims before my 43rd birthday so I have a year to get myself sorted. I've just joined Slimming World and am hoping to lose what I need to quickly (but sensibly) in order to start IVF. My question is, is 42/3 too late for this to work? Are there any success stories out there to give me a bit of hope please?

Hi ScattyNat83,

Our situation isn't similar so no success stories to share, but just wanted to reply to say good luck and sending support. I know people who have found Slimming World helpful. How much do you need to get your BMI down by?

Hopefully my reply will bump you up to get some more helpful responses! :)

xx

It isn't necessarily too late but you should have all the blood tests done now and consider paying privately to get going straight away because you are likely to need more than one round. There are plenty of success stories at 42 but there is also a lot of heartache. The sooner your roll the dice the better.

What is your BMI? Unless it's drastically elevated I would strongly suggest starting immediately and not waiting a year. The bigger challenge is going to be age not weight.

Very best of luck.

Thanks for the responses all. We can't afford to pay for private treatment which is another issue so are relying on our free turn on the NHS. I need to lose around 4 stone ideally. I was only 4kg off the ideal wait to start but the pressure of all of the tests and procedures I'd already had took their toll and I'm just a mess right now😪

Sorry that you are going through this. I'm the same age as you trying for our first child and feel the time pressure you feel.

If the one round of NHS treatment is all you can do in terms of treatment, I'd try to maximise the chance of success by preparing my body as best I can: supplement, exercise, clean eating (no sugar, alcohol etc) and so on. You can find lots of advice re lifestyle changes for improving fertility on online forums like mumsnet. These lifestyle changes are good for your own health as well so really worth a try.

Even though not having the option for further IVF treatment may feel hopeless, not everyone believes that more IVF treatment is necessarily better. Some will say that at our age the odds of IVF are not that different from IVF anyway. Prof Robert Winston is often mentioned as someone who advises against lots of IVF treatment for older women.

All the lifestyle changes can help natural conception as well. There are other, more experimental things you may consider - although a healthy amount of sceptism is always warranted - for example what this thread below talks about:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/infertility/4747742-pregnant-with-poi?page=1

Take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. X

@ScattyNat83 in that case see if you can get the referral aspect started as soon as possible so that you can start the round as soon as you go under their maximum possible limit.

What was the original diagnosis? PCOS/ tubal/ sperm etc?

@sirensong I have PCOS, endometriosis and a unicornuate uterus. I have spoken to the infertility consultant that we were working with and she just said to contact her once i'd lost weight. I'll spend the time prepping my body. Our hospital outsources to a private clinic so the waiting list is about two weeks.

@kiwifriend thank you for the advice.