IVF for a Dummy

[Mae2B]

Hi everyone.

I wonder if people can answer a few of my questions regarding IVF. Long story short, I'm 36, TTC #1, with really low AMH for my age, so basically don't have much time and on top of that I can only TTC every other month (which adds a lot of anxiety and worrying). Went to GP, currently doing the investigations for IVF referral, I haven't been trying for long but I think I qualify for an "exception" due to the low AMH and age.

Here are my questions:
-when people say there is a 6m or 1y waiting time, is that to hear back from the board after the GP sends the referral (i.e. confirmation of funding)?
-is it possible/common to hear a No after all that time? Or once the GP sends the referral it's pretty much a Yes for funding but just a question of when?
-once you have the greenlight for funding, how long does it take from there to be seen by the fertility clinic, are there usual waiting times as well?
-once you get to the clinic, how long until actual IVF?
-how brutal is IVF treatment itself, what should I be prepared for?

Basically, because time is of the essence I'm truly scared this will all take absolute ages and it will be too late for me by the time I get there. It would be great to have an idea of all this to assess if going private might be safer time-wise (although not the preferred option of course). Also, we are looking at IVF as the answer to our time-problem, but not sure I fully grasp the implications.

Everywhere seems to be different to be honest, I'm greater Manchester based and had my NHS round last year, time line...

GP to gynae at the hospital - 9 months
Gynae to funding stage - 5 month
Funding was accepted within a week
Funding to clinic - 2-3 weeks
my first clinic appointment was beginning of December so my cycle fell around Christmas when they were closed so didn't start injections until the 1st Feb! Hope that helps!

The round itself I didn't find difficult, I am okay with needles though so they didn't faze me, the hardest part for me was the updates after egg collection, we had a massive drop in numbers, 21 eggs ended up with 1 low quality embryo, so although the round went well it quickly changed! For me it absolutely was a rollercoaster!

I'm in the process now of starting again and have initial tests booked for a couple of weeks time!

Be kind to yourself and wishing you all the luck in the world xx

IVF is not an easy option. Quite apart from the drug taking and the enormous commitment to your time, emotionally it can be brutal. Huge highs and lows. Of course it’s absolutely worth it if it works (and even as a diagnostic tool for future fertility treatments), but the time, finances (if private) and emotional toll must be taken into account.

Agree that even if not successful it can be a useful diagnostic. Also, weirdly, had my first pregnancy (it ended at 6 weeks though) in my first cycle after failed ivf! Must have had something to do with the ivf itself which is positive.

I'm currently within round 2 ivf. Egg retrieval in two days🤞 I have a very very low amh, have just turned 39 and started trying at 36. Very hard to say about waiting times for me, I moved back to Scotland from England after initial referral which set us back months, then had a bad smear, leading to surgery, leading to massive haemorrhage (!) leading to a six month wait for a test of cure. I was referred while still 36 and had first round at 38. Expect the wait to be longer than the initial times suggested to you (and if they're shorter, great).

Biggest piece of advice, get your smear up to date right now! Make sure you have a record of historical mmr vaccines! These can throw curveballs on waiting times.

The amh thing... so it indicates how many eggs you will make during ivf, but not quality. Age is the biggest quality indicator. I only made 3 eggs first round, but all 3 fertilised and I had an embryo on day 5 for transfer. It didn't take but I loved those two weeks of waiting. Focussed on loving whatever we had made.

Amh works in favour of waiting times in a way..? I'm being positive here, but it affects which drug protocol you're on. I'm on maximum drugs. That means there are less ppl you're competing with for a space when it comes to booking your slot. Some people have to try book three times before getting a slot, but I've got in first time both times. Silver lining, but it has saved months of waiting.

Being in the middle of a round, so far this has actually been very positive. My numbers aren't great, but I'm enjoying doing what I can, being healthy, focussed on positives, having fun. I agree with first poster though, that it's a bit more eek once the eggs are retrieved and you find out the fruits of your labours so to speak! Happy to answer any questions.

I’m in Scotland, but it was a year from gp referral to starting my first round of ivf (unexplained).

I was on the standard protocol, was expecting it to be horrendous but it was fine. The needles aren’t fun, but look worse than they feel. I don’t tend to get PMS, so tolerated the hormones well, just felt a bit more tired than normal.

My top tip, if you can, is to wait for the transfer date to find out how many embryos you have. The drop off is so severe (but normal), I felt I would have agonised over every stage. I asked the embryologist to give me headlines “it’s not/is going well”. I think it did wonders for my mental health and made that 5 day wait so much more bearable. I got all the figures/ numbers at the transfer.

Best of luck

Thank you all so so much for your replies with experiences and tips ❤️❤️❤️ and all the very best to those currently going through an IVF round, I really do hope it works and this is your sticky and healthy one! 🎉

Re timings I think approx 3 years from GP applying to starting actual treatment stage is what we had (and we were really really pushy where we could and chased everything up to be on top of things) I'm in South London.

You asked: is it possible/common to hear a No after all that time? Or once the GP sends the referral it's pretty much a Yes for funding but just a question of when?

Absolutely they can say no. But your GP should be able to tell wether a yes or no is more likely. A more experienced GP that's done alot of referral would probably be more aware of outcome, so worth asking for sure!

You asked: how brutal is IVF treatment itself?
Very brutal. Emotional and there's almost certainly going to be some level of disappointment or grief. Make sure your in an emotionally healthy place and if time is of the essance just avoid stress as much as possible. So when you know what your dates of treatment are then organize your life so that stressful life events as much as possible don't coincide with this period if time. Everything can feel very overwhelming when your in the middle of it.

Best advice I read on mumsnet pre starting IVF was something like 'enjoy the good days hold on during the bad days and recover in the days in between'

Wishing sucssess and BFP soon!

Hi @Mae2B, we have done IVF privately so as not to wait - I had investigations with NHS fertility clinic at Kings in London in July 2024, which was 16 months TTC, with a TFMR in that time and 2 private hysteroscopies already conpleted. The referral from my GP to them was about a month and the investigations they suggested could have been done quickly. When I asked about IVF they said they thought I'd have to have been TTC for 3 years and would come back to me but they never did and we decided to go with a private IVF clinic as we expected they'd move more quickly, and we wanted to do pgta testing which the NHS doesn't offer. I'm 38 now so we wanted to get on with it asap and have found our clinic, the Lister in London, excellent. I started 1st round of stims in mid September and did 2 rounds of egg collection back to back, planning for a frozen embryo transfer now.

I don't like needles much but once I got started, it was actually fine. My first round didn't go as well as they'd hoped and they upped my meds significantly for round 2 which did make me feel a bit worse (uncomfortable, bloated, tearful) but it honestly wasn't as bad as I'd expected physically.

The emotional side was harder - getting updates about follicles at scans, as not as many of mine grew as they'd hoped for - and then the calls after egg collection waiting to hear how they were progressing were very hard To wait for. It is a tough process and my advice would be take it as easy as possible, don't try and do too much, and if you feel comfortable letting people around you know, lean on them for support. I told work which helped a lot as well as they understood I was going through a lot and needed to work from home more often etc.

Best of luck!

Thank you @Orangewillow for sharing your experience so far, it gives me food for thought.
All the best to you, I hope you have a fantastic outcome x

We had been trying for a year with no luck. I knew my AMH and everything was normal as I did a hertility test before we started trying. We decided to get my husband's sperm tested and it was bad news - we were told we had 'male factor infertility'. I wish we had tested his sperm at 6 months as you can do that if the man is over 36.

I called my GP in August 2024 and they said I would need blood work done and that the cyber attacks had caused delays so to contact them again in September.

In September the GP said she would book my bloods, but to speed up the process she would refer me to the IVF clinic now and it would take a while for it to come through and I could do my bloods in the meantime. She told me I should hear by 12 November.

The call from the IVF clinic came in mid October and I had my first appointment with them by end of October. They agreed my funding within a week and told us we were ready to start immediately. I had a few delays due to suffering from adenoymyosis and they wanted to be extra sure my womb was clear, and after the extra tests, we started long protocol drugs on 27th December.

Fast forward to now, I'm about to do my trigger injection and egg collection is booked for Tuesday.

I am in south London and am eligible for 2 free rounds on the NHS. I am 37 and my AMH is normal.

Overall I've been pleasantly surprised and pleased with how quick it has been, despite the first frustrating month when I was waiting for bloods (especially when they could have referred me without given that is what they eventually did).

Don't wait - keep pestering the GP.

Good luck xx