Secondary Infertility - do I just accept having one?!

[RhubarbCrumble12345]

Hi

Did anyone just give up and are happy they did, with just the one? I am so grateful for my first one, I am starting to think it's fate that I don't have another but then I just end up trying again and disappointing myself. I have a 3 and a half year old already, I had a miscarriage after surgery last December at 7 weeks and haven't managed to get pregnant again. It only took two months with my first child.

I have had progesterone levels tested which came back borderline. I have another appt to discuss the second set of bloods this week so hopefully more info then but everything is soooo slow I am worried about the age gap and whether it's worth all the stress.

Does anyone have any good advice, if you just had the one did you finally accept it? So hard. Thank you!!

Hello, we have 3yo dd. It took 2 years to conceive dd. We fell pregnant naturally after failed IVF - have 5 frozen embryos. We have been ttc a sibling since May 2023. One chemical pregnancy and a failed embryo transfer to show for it so far.

I have decided I will use up our embryos and that will be it - so we have 5 chances. I feel better for having that boundary. I feel so incredibly lucky to have dd but my heart hurts, thinking there is a good chance she will be an only. I am trying to focus on the positives of an only child... we can give her great experiences without worrying about money so much, we can build better financial security and we won't have to move house. It is so bloody hard, I think it helps to establish a boundary with your partner so you know you can give it your best shot, but also know when to call it a day and get closure.

What also helps me is recognising that it's important dd has a mummy who is present and happy so I cannot let ttc interfere with her childhood. also, my sister died this year at 32 and that is a stark reminder to me that life is precious and me not being able to have a second child is not the end of the world. It keeps my sense of perspective. Good luck

@Rosieposy89 Thanks so much for your reply and kind words. I think the boundary idea will really help and I think i did originally say this December was mine but now I am here I feel a bit lost. You are absolutely right with all of the positives. When I had my little one, I was adamant for months after they would be an only. I don't know what changed! I think I just forgot the labour pains! 🤔

Yes my mother died in her forties and my aunt has just died in her forties too and that did give me a bit of a shock into thinking not to waste any more time. I will try to set a definite boundary and stick to it. Wishing you all the best for your journey too🙏