Dealing with Infertility and awful job

[EctopicLoss]

Hi All!

By way of background im nearly 39 and due to embark on ivf (London clinic recommendations welcome) soon as we have been trying for 2 years. We thankfully have a beautiful 3 year old after an ectopic and 3 miscarriages!

It's extremely draining and I thought changing jobs would help refocus my attention and give me some distraction. Unfortunately, the role isn't great - it's a new sector and my manager isn't very supportive or approachable. She's made me feel inadequate when I ask questions. I feel anxious everytime I need to log on. I cant leave given the expenses we are going to have with ivf.

Any words of wisdom or comfort would be helpful. Thanks for reading xx

Hi, sorry you're going through this. I've had some ups and downs with my fairly recent role while going through treatment. Does your employer have a fertility leave policy? When I started I emailed my manager and their manager copying in the policy and making them aware so there would be no issues taking time out. I've ended up just keeping updates private otherwise - while it would be lovely if I had the level of relationship with me manager where I felt able to share more, I've just come to accept that and instead just say to them over teams on the odd occasion I've not felt good. Fortunately treatment was a lot less physically overwhelming than I thought so aside from appointments I've been able to get on with things pretty normally meaning minimal extra manager interaction. Hope things improve and you feel happier in your role soon.

@tpeas hi lovely, thanks for your message. We don't have a policy and I've only been there 6 months so I don't think it would even apply to me.

Sorry you went through something similar. It gives me such anxiety. Maybe if i wasn't going through infertility I'd be able to deal.

Happy that the process wasn't too bad for you, I'll be starting consultation with a 2 clincs in January.