How to deal with colleagues pregnancy after miscarriage

[Daniki]

As the titles says really,

My colleague told us she was pregnant last week, and I had such a bad reaction(internally) as it turns out we have the same due date but I miscarried on the 25th oct.
Then today on lunch other colleagues are asking about her pregnancy so far etc (only the boss knows about my loss) and I was really struggling to listen to it. I asked a question here and there to seem interested but it was honestly like been kicked in the stomach.
I don't know why it's so difficult, 3 of my closest friends are pregnant and I don't even bat an eyelid at their discussions over it.
Anyone any advice!? We're only in work together 2 days of the week thankfully (can't take diff lunch breaks as we're in a school) but i hate myself for feeling like this as she into excited about her first pregnancy, whereas this is my 4th loss but I do have one 4 year boy x

Hi - I have experienced similar feelings , I have had three losses in a year and my friend has had a successful pregnancy during this time and is now pregnant again, along with another friend and they are due just a few weeks before my due date would have been. I am happy for my friends and sad for me - and both can be true at once.

I don’t want to sound negative but I don’t think anything really helps - I have felt guilty and bad for feeling upset! But you have to think that it is about you and not them. I would just excuse yourself from these conversations and let yourself be upset. I also started writing my feelings down which I think helps!

@TTCK8 thanks, I keep trying to steer the convo elsewhere but someone always brings it back 😂 I'm sure il get over it, just really surprised by reaction as I'm fine with everyone else but possibly the fact we were due the same day I think, so her milestones now should of been mine too 🙈

@Daniki 100% I think it must be even more triggering as you had the same due date! It’s just really hard and feels unfair, when that should be you too!

Hopefully our rainbow babies are coming ✨🌈

@TTCK8 exactly, 🙏🙏🤞🏻

honestly I avoid and don’t entertain any conversation about their pregnancy

Ive recently had to line manage 3 pregnancies and it was utterly shit but .. I just keep it professional, otherwise i literally don’t want to know

protect your heart and mental health xx