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Infertility

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How do I stop this taking over my life

2 replies

Mays2356789 · 28/11/2024 18:41

We’ve been trying for our second baby for almost two years. Due to two horrifically complicated miscarriages where I have been pregnant for a while and then loss/recovery has been a while, we’ve only actually tried for 9 of these months. Whilst I appreciated two pregnancies in 9 months are quite good odds in terms of fertility, I feel broken, and mentally and physically exhausted.

I’m getting to the point where seeing people with babies and prams in shops is making me sad, one of my closest friends is pregnant by accident and I don’t want to see her. Every time someone tells me they are pregnant it feels like I’ve been winded, not because I don’t want them to be, but because I also want to be, or I should have one of the babies I’ve lost. I was 13 weeks when I found I have a missed miscarriage last year and I constantly think of the baby that could’ve been.

I keep thinking there’s a real chance this just won’t happen for us, I know I’m incredibly lucky to have a child, I’m thankful for them everyday, they ask for a sibling most days, and it breaks my heart. At the moment I feel like 90% of my thoughts are about what’s happened, what’s not happened, and will it ever happen.

OP posts:
Eagerlywaiting1990 · 28/11/2024 18:49

@Mays2356789 I don't have much advice I'm afraid, just a bit of comradery. First of all i am so sorry for your losses, that muat have been horrendous. We've been trying for 3 years, had one unsuccessful transfer with ivf and about to go again. I actually surprised myself with how free I felt for the past couple of months. I felt like a normal person (for the most part)...now that I'm going back into it I think about it constantly, am once again weighed down by others and their children/pregnancies and just feel really cynical generally...my heart goes out to anyone in the same situation. My aim is to try and focus on other things in my life I am grateful for and not to let it snowball over me. I know that's easier said than done but I think we have to try and keep ourselves sane by whatever means necessary xx

Figtree11 · 28/11/2024 20:06

@Mays2356789 i could have written this myself, I feel exactly the same.
I have had 2 losses since TTC my first 16 months ago. Also had complications following loss & my body does not bounce back quickly. I don’t have any advice I’m afraid. I try & keep as busy as I can to try & drown out the thoughts x

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