BFPs after IVF - part 3 (babies start arriving)

[HopefulllHolly]

Hi all,

SENSITIVE CONTENT - discusses pregnancy and birth after infertility

Continuation of previous threads for anyone with a BFP following IVF. This thread we should have some of us giving birth!

@anniestar12
@dippyduck19
@fluffyted
@leaf86
@loup87
@natty2
@thepeachgoose
@always28
@edf

Hi everyone - starting another thread! Will post the link in the other thread in case others still want to chat but for now have only added people who have posted more recently. 😊

There is so much going on! It’s so exciting.

Congratulations to all the mums whose babies are now here. Hope you’re doing ok and enjoying this first bit and managing to get a bit of sleep!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 congratulations. Hope you’re ok. Thanks for sharing your story - it sounds long and stressful but I’m glad it went well in the end. Hope you can keep on top of the pain.

@Leaf86 congratulations! That weight gain is great. Glad you feel a bit better after some rest and downtime. Definitely take it easy when you can, it’s still really early days.

@HopefulllHolly hope you’re doing ok. Sorry the sweep was so painful. I had a sweep when I had my DS and they couldn’t even do it properly in the end as I was in so much pain with it.

Right, I have loads more messages to write but I’m on my phone and having trouble scrolling back to see everything so I’ll do another reply later!! But hope everyone is doing ok whether waiting for babies to arrive or spending their first bit of time with their newly arrived babies!

Btw, did a WhatsApp group get set up in the end?

I’m now almost 32 weeks. I had my consultant appointment yesterday - he has booked in a double slot for my c section on 25th Feb because of my complexity. Feeling excited but so scared. I want someone to give me a guarantee it will all be ok! My consultant is amazing at what he does - he’s the head of department and a brilliant surgeon. But he’s very emotionless and clinical - which I think is probably great for the actual procedure etc but it’s not so good for me feeling reassured!

I have booked NCT classes even though I’m having a C-Section. I’m not sure if that was the best thing to do but I thought it gives us a chance of meeting people and I thought the breastfeeding support might also be useful. Plus my DS is 14 so I’m sure some advice etc will have changed! Annoyingly the ultra local one was booked up by the time I got around to booking so I’ve booked one that’s about 20 minutes drive away.

I have to say that this thread has been nothing but educational on all things induction and sweeps and what can partners see during a c section lol Not to mention that TIL you could still use forceps in c sections if the baby progressed too far in a vaginal birth.

@AnnieStar12 yay for no GD! but soooo frustrating that you still couldn’t get a date for an obstetrician appt. it’s great that they have you pencilled in for the 30th, but I get you that you would like to speak to someone about your results and the baby's size! I suppose that if they're not worried and they're not chasing you, maybe there isn't anything to worry about. but you could try PALS too if you don't hear from anyone. I contacted them when the midwives repeatedly failed to move an appointment for me and everyone was surprised that no one did it before I got to PALS. I think everyone was assuming that someone else was doing it, classic NHS lol

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 thank you for sharing your birth story! And I’m so glad that both you and the baby are okay!
Did you get induced in the end, or did the labour kickstart just by breaking the waters? Either way, it sounds like you’ve done such a good job through it all and made excellent decisions at every step of the way. I’m pleased to hear that overall the section wasn’t too bad, you were on your feet within hours and that the pain was manageable with the medication given (at least for the time you were in hospital).
I’m hoping for an elective section and currently buying stuff for my hospital bag, so I wanted to ask you what sort of items I should get for day 1 in such case? Do you use the silicone patches right away? What about the support belt?

@Leaf86 thanks for all the tips in prepping for a hospital stay and a c section! What did you do for clothing? Did you stay in the hospital gown, or did you get pj’s / night gown that opens up to the front? I’m trying to decide, but also need to remember that maternity wards are always set at what feels like 25 degrees lol hope you’re enjoying a few calmer days. you’ve done so much already in the first 2 weeks! i assume that the baby has gotten over the jaundice and is now thriving, well done!

@Always28 hi again! I’m sorry, it’s been a while and I don’t remember the details, but what complexities are you dealing with that they had to book in a double slot for your c section? Either way, we might be c section buddies! Well, hopefully. I don’t have a date yet but I’m still leaning that way after reading more birth stories on here lol
I think that it’s a great idea to do the NCT classes! As you say, you’ll collect some fresh advice, and fresh new people that will be at this same stage as you. Did you check HPHB near you as well? Our ultra local NCT group got cancelled for our due date and they moved us somewhere further, so my husband kept checking HPHB which was sold out but every few days they had spaces to book weirdly, so we eventually got on to that. The group we’re in has 12 couples so it’s definitely more crowded than NCT, but everyone is super nice and may end up being more convenient for you now and later on when you have the baby. Worth checking!

@ThePeachGoose didn't get induced, just had waters broken which started contractions (thankfully). If it hadn't started contractions within 2hrs, they would have given me the drip.

As for what I needed immediately post section, I would recommend:
Adult nappies - wouldn't have found maternity pads big enough
Own pillow - hospital ones are like pancakes! Nightie - you want pyjamas you can pull up rather than trousers which will make you bend every time you need to go pee!
Flip flops - something easy to get on your feet.

Also:
Make sure to request regular painkillers from midwives. Really important to keep pain under control, especially throughout the night.

Use pillow to push against scar if you need to cough or sneeze.

Request lactulose to prevent constipation especially if you are taking codeine!!!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 thank you for sharing your wisdom!

Hi everyone! Sorry been offline taking some time to chill recently 🥰

@Leaf86 Awww amazing that the little lady is doing so well! Sorry to hear you’re struggling a little more than last with recovery - definitely a lesson in taking it very slowly and not trying to do everything! Hope the pain passes quickly lovely.

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Thats good he couldn’t see anything. My partner has said he might be brave and want to do the cord so I’ll ask them if he’d be able to see anything at any point as I don’t want him having ptsd or something. Thanks for the tips! I’ll definitely look into nipple shields, and flip flops all packed. How are you and baby boy doing? Hope you’re settling in to your new life nicely!

@AnnieStar12 Ah thank you that’s helpful - I’ll try and reassure/warn him. Have you heard any more about baby’s weight yet? I’ve not really been doing much of anything - I’m quite tired despite sleeping better at night, but I’m in a fair amount of pain when doing minor things like sitting up - midwife isn’t worried but it’s annoying! I guess I better get used to it with a C-section now. I’ve been making a playlist to have whilst in surgery which makes me really cry (all lovely songs but the thought of having her to them make me very very emotional in a good way!). Other than that I’m just having some self care days. Going for a massage, got a nail appointment for my toes and planning on going on a little date with my partner the day before (it’s our anniversary on her actual due date).

@Always28 Glad to hear you’re doing ok! Definitely with you on the pain of a sweep! Sorry to hear you’re anxious about the C-section but sounds like your consultant (though lacking in warmth!) is a very safe pair of hands for you both. I remind myself they do lots of these operations a week and that they know what they are doing. Think NCT classes are a great shout - from reading threads on here it sounds like a lot has changed with childbirth and post birth looking after stuff so I’d do with a reminder I’d imagine! Plus it’s a good way to make friends with locals. 😊

@ThePeachGoose Hope you’re doing ok! 🥰 Sounds like you’re busy getting prepared!

As for me - I’ve got my date for C-section now, next Wednesday 22nd at 8am. Have my pre-op on Monday. Feel very excited though quite apprehensive but really can’t wait to meet her. Weird thinking that this time in 6 days I’ll be holding our little girl (all being well, I could get bumped down the list in favour of an emergency, and they’ve also said I could get moved up depending on whether anyone currently waiting for a caesarean goes in to labour before their date). For now I’m just going to chill and hope that she doesn’t try and come sooner - it’s nice having a set date to work towards tbh and be able to prepare mentally (also finish my cleaning hahaha). Any other things you guys think I should do before she’s here? Welcome any ideas!! ❤️

Hi all

I’ve just spent a little time reading through everyone’s updates. Congratulations to all whose little ones have now arrived!

I’m almost 1 week in now which is unbelievable to be honest, baby boy is just gorgeous and we are completely besotted by him - even at 3am when he’s refusing to sleep 🙃.

Story time for my induction and birth experience for anyone who’s interested -

I had been booked into the birthing centre at 10:30am on Tuesday. Took a couple of hours to get a room and get settled before being examined - I was just about 1cm but not fully effaced, so I had the pessary put in around 4pm. Had what felt like strong period/back pain almost straight away and throughout the night, nothing else happened.

On Weds morning they did observations on me and baby, baby wasn’t enjoying the pessary so had to have it removed after 12hrs instead of the full 24. Examined again and was still 1cm, not fully effaced. Dr came to discuss next steps etc - agreed on further examination in few hours, possible rods if no change etc. On next examination I was 2cm and fully effaced, so midwife gave me a sweep (without pre-warning! Very painful!) - lost mucus plug but no other changes.

Thursday came around, still 2cm, but would be moved to delivery suite when a bed opened up. Moved over around 2pm and they broke my waters. Walked around for a while, period like pain came back but nothing much happening. Around 9pm they started me on the hormone drip. Well…I could not handle the pain from the contractions AT ALL. I went from only wanting gas & air (which made me feel awful) to demanding an epidural straight away. I had them stop the hormone drip whilst waiting for it too.

First placement of the epidural didn’t work, had to call them back to place it again. 2nd placement only worked on one side, so they had to come back again to “top up” the dose. After this it kicked in and I was able to sleep most of the night which was amazing.

Friday morning, had reached 8cm but epidural began to run out. Had them come back to top me up but it never really kicked in again and felt everything from then onwards. Around 10am I was at 10cm, but the midwives wanted me to let gravity do its thing for a couple of hours for baby to get as low as he could before trying to push. 12pm - start pushing with every contraction, did not feel like pushing was doing anything at all. Baby was getting tired after almost an hour so assisted delivery was needed.

The room filled up very quickly after this - two midwives, lead midwife, obstetrician with vacuum cup and baby doctor on hand. After a quick episiotomy, baby boy was out 9mins later and on my chest!

I’m on the other side of the pain now, but days 2-5 after birth - the muscle pain is unreal, muscles I never knew I had! I have a few stitches (2nd degree tear) but they don’t hurt to be honest.

Cannot recommend tena lady silhouette underwear enough. I think I will wear them for the full 6 weeks 😂

The silver nipple shields are the best thing ever. They have saved my nipples along with an abundance of nipple balm. Breastfeeding has been an education - I didn’t leak or harvest any colostrum before so I was really not confident he was getting anything when on the boob, so I have been using Kendamil to top up and feed over night. I just bought a manual pump yesterday to make sure I was producing and I am, but maybe only about 1oz a feed which isn’t enough for him at the moment. I’m going to keep going but not beat myself up, he seems fine on the combination for now anyway!

I’ll finish by saying if I am ever lucky enough to do this again - I will be going for an elective c-section!

@LouP87 oh my, what an experience you had! Hope you’re recovering okay, 4 days of induction and labour sounds a lot. So pleased your little one is safely with you now x

@HopefulllHolly wow, very exciting you got your date now. This time next week you’ll be a mama ♥️

I’ve still not had any confirmation for my C-section date and it’s really frustrating me as I know the request went in for the 30th so it’s only 2 weeks away now. I spent all yesterday chasing the hospital and did manage to speak to a doctor eventually who said not too worry about baby being big. It’s only a concern if it’s related to GD which has been ruled out. So I know they’re not going to bring it forward, just gotta wait for someone to book me in!

@AnnieStar12 Fingers crossed it won’t take them long. My portal for my hospital (badger notes) has info about when they plan caesareans and it’s no more than 1 week notice unless there’s a medical reason to have baby before then, so maybe it’s the same for you? It should have your policy somewhere though but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a week notice like mine. Seems common!

Hi everyone 👋 I hope you're all well!!

Sorry I've been MIA for a while - I had quite the traumatic experience last week so I've taken some time to recover & get used to being a mummy!

It's so exciting to see so many babies have been born!! 🙌🏻❤️and still some more to come 🥰

@Edf congratulations on the birth of your baby girl 💖 I'm so glad you had a super quick labour & easy induction. What a special time for you ... how are you finding things?

@LouP87 congratulations on the birth of your baby boy 🩵 amazing news, I hope your labour was uneventful too. How are you finding things?

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 congratulations on the birth of your baby boy 🩵 and well done for going through the c-section, I also agree it wasn't as bad I expected either. Sorry you ended up with a semi-emergency c-section though - I hope it wasn't too stressful for you.
How are you finding things as a mummy?

@HopefulllHolly hopefully your little baby comes before your c-section. For me, the healing process really hasn't been as bad as I expected. Obviously the wound & tummy area does hurt but gets better each day and is easily managed with pain relief. But totally get that it's not the choice you wanted so I really hope your little lady makes her appearance beforehand!

@AnnieStar12 that's so annoying you still don't have your date!!! What a pain.
I got my date the week before my planned c-section, so hopefully with any luck you'll get your date asap this week!! 🤞

I deffo second the disposable pants!! I've found that the always discreet pants are the comfiest & super padded. They right up to my belly button so way over the c-section wound and have been a godsend.
I did buy some other disposable pants but they were rubbish and almost like a net 😂
At night I put a thick post-natal pad inside my always nappies disposable pants to make sure I don't leak anywhere but to be honest the bleeding isn't too bad for me.

So an update from me:
I had my c-section on Thursday 9th January. They had me as the last lady in their shift so I had to wait till 7pm (again with no food since 6am!)
Unfortunately my c-section didn't go to plan and I had some major complications during the OP.
They got my baby girl out within 10 mins and it was going smoothly until they tried to remove my placenta. It was stuck within the wall of my womb which they weren't expecting so I ended up having a major haemorrhage .
They finally managed to stop the bleed and started seeing me back up. Until they realised my womb wasn't retracting like it should have been. They couldn't get a balloon in thought my vagina & cervix so had to re-open the womb through the c-section route.
This caused another major haemorrhage and they ended up calling the emergency team in as they couldn't stop my bleed.
I was lying on the bed listening the whole time but I was so drugged up & spaced out I didn't realise how bad it was at the time.
My poor partner was stood there with our baby just watching the entire time. I just kept looking at them and focusing on them both whilst keeping myself calm.
They eventually stopped my bleed and got the balloon thing in the help my womb retract but I lost 3L of blood.
So I had to spend 4 days on the high dependency ward with a one-to-one midwife.
I was so blessed to have an AMAZING medical team and group of midwives as they really kept me calm & helped me recover so well.

I had my catheter in for 3 days & was on constant bed rest the entire time and did the first day I wasn't able to do anything for my baby as I was wired up to lots of machines & I was so spaced out on pain killers & drugs they gave me.
My partner took photos of everything for me and all our babies "first" things so that I didn't miss out too much - really sweet actually to have that as I can't remember most things because of the medication.

We came home on Monday and have been in our little baby bubble 🫧 since. I'm loving being a mummy and everything I ended up going through was soooo worth it to have my baby girl in my arms!
She was born weighing in at 7lbs 11oz.

@Fluffyted Oh my god. You poor poor thing (and poor husband, I hope he’s not scarred by that. I genuinely couldn’t imagine anything more scary). It’s a good thing you were dosed up really as I can imagine it would massively impact you after. So sorry you had to go through that lovely. I hope it hasn’t spoilt your experience of having your perfect little girl? She sounds like she is lovely and healthy and doing ok. I’m sorry you missed a few things but it’s lovely your partner has done as much as he can to capture it all. How horrific for you all. Do you have any follow ups to discuss what happened or anything? And assuming it won’t have any further impact on your health?? Sending you huge hugs - not at all how I bet you imagined but the main thing is you and baby are both ok in the end. ❤️

To be honest I’m 100% happy with C-section now and I think part of me just would prefer to do that now. I’ve yo-yoed about with what type of birth I want and now im glad I have a plan and know roughly what to expect. The natural birth is still very unknown so I think I may end up picking a C-section even if I went in to labour early. After my bloody sweep I feel a bit panicked that I can’t handle pain - despite trying to do my breathing exercises during it I was gritting my teeth and had tears rolling down my face - so really why bother putting myself through it if I don’t need to? So yeah. Im team C-section now! What a flake hey 😅

Hope it's okay to join in so late. Our beautiful little girl was delivered a week ago by planned C-section and is utterly perfect! Despite the long journey to get pregnant in the first place and mine being considered a high risk pregnancy due to multiple complex health factors on my part, the whole pregnancy was mercifully straightforward as was the section, despite consultants concerns in the weeks preceeding it. Our baby is, thank god, healthy and thriving, though breast-feeding has taken some time to establish. She is now latching and feeding happily from my breasts but we're still topping up with formula as we're unaware of how much breast milk she's actually getting. Still, she seems happy to feed on bottle or nipple indiscriminately and has a good appetite. Pumping has been proving pretty tiresome to fit in between feeds but I do think it's helping my supply. Congratulations to everyone on here on the safe arrival of your babies!

@Fluffyted oh wow, you poor thing what an ordeal. So good to hear you're back home, hope you have time to process it all and great you're able to enjoy baby. Well done for getting through it! Look after yourself x

@Everlore congratulations! Great to hear you've got off to a good start :)

@HopefulllHolly glad you feel positive about having the c-section now, not long to go!! Guess it's just nice to know what to expect and be able to prepare for it.

Yeah, about the date - other people I know who've been at my hospital have been given the date around 3 weeks beforehand, and I've always been told that's when to expect it. I'm just feeling anxious about everything right now so the not knowing isn't helping. I will chase it again tomorrow - though starting to worry the maternity staff will block my number if I call again, haha!

@HopefulllHolly glad you are feeling more positive about the section! I found the vaginal examinations ok, the sweep more painful but contractions were a whole different ball game! I felt like such a wimp asking for an epidural initially. I then remembered what a friend told me... you don't get a gold medal for enduring the pain. You do what you need to do to get baby here!!!

@Everlore congratulations! Glad you and baby are doing well.

@AnnieStar12 must be frustrating for you not knowing. Fingers crossed you find out soon.

@Fluffyted how scary for you and your partner! How are you doing now? Will you have a debrief to discuss what happened with your hospital??

Gosh the sleep deprivation is hard! Baby did not sleep at all last night. My milk has come in and my boobs are in agony!!! (Am FF so hoping it dries up soon), combined with the drop in hormones am feeling a little tearful today! But having baby boy here makes it worth it!!! And currently upstairs trying to catch up on sleep but all I can hear is DP singing away to baby boy 🥰

Had his day 5 weigh in today. He's lost 7.5% on his birthweight! But midwives are happy with him.

Was offered a debrief with the hospital as my birth didn't go according to plan. I declined and said I was actually feeling positive about how it went, the only regret (if I could call it that) is that I didn't push for c section sooner when we discussed induction plans. But at the time I feel I did wantto progress with a normal birth as the idea of a section and the recovery was scary! there was never anyway of knowing what would happen anyway!

I'm pleased @HopefulllHolly you've come round to a section. I think you, like me, have gone back and forth and had very similar thoughts and fears around birth etc. I hope your experience and recovery is a positive one!

Good morning

Hope those with their babies here have had some sleep! Actually, hope those that are still pregnant are managing to sleep ok too - I’m much much more achy at night now and wake up a lot of times needing to change position!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 i hope you’re feeling a bit better and that the baby blues are starting to go away. How’s the milk/boobs now? Hope it’s not been too uncomfortable.

@Everlore congratulations - hope it’s all going really well!

@AnnieStar12 did you have any luck chasing the midwives about your date last week? It’s horrible being in limbo and not knowing - very anxiety inducing.

@HopefulllHolly im glad you’re feeling better now about a c section - and you’re definitely not a flake!! (Although typing that has made me fancy a Cadbury’s flake 🤣). Good luck with the pre op today.

@Fluffyted that sounds so scary and traumatic. I hope you’re doing ok and recovering well. Thanks for sharing it all on here. Your partner sounds so supportive and lovely too.

Sorry, posted a bit early!

@ThePeachGoose thank you - I did have a look at the HPHB classes as they sound great but they weren’t running a January class near me and the Feb dates were too late. Thanks for the reassurance on going to the classes!

They had a cancellation on the more local class so we ended up getting switched onto that a couple of days before and went to the first class yesterday. It was really good and they seem like a really nice bunch of people. The next class is tomorrow evening and I think that will have some c section info.

Weirdly I did come away feeling a bit sad that i won’t be having a labour or a natural birth - and felt like we’re missing out somehow, and missing out on DP being my birth partner and all that brings. But to be honest, I’m so emotional at the moment that I’m finding the emotion in everything!! I did also try to remind myself that Labour isn’t this magical idyllic shared bonding experience for everyone!!

We are having a c section at 37 weeks for medical reasons. I have a 14 year old son and had an emergency c section with him, and two weeks later I had developed peritonitis and septicaemia and had to have a life saving operation (and spent two weeks in hospital without my baby which was really traumatic in itself). Basically due to surgeries and endometriosis I have a lot of internal scars and adhesions so they want to do a c section early to reduce any risk of something tearing etc. It’s the right decision, but I do feel a bit sad about it and very anxious about the whole thing. They have booked me a double slot for the surgery so they allow two hours.

@Always28 baby blues are definitely improving. Day 5 was the worst! I think the combination of 2 nights with no sleep, sore boobs, drop in hormones, wound pain and swollen legs just hit me like a truck that day.
Boobs are much better now, 2-3 days of using cabbage leaves gave me lots of relief.
Baby boy is sleeping in 4hr stretches so getting better sleep overnight too. I struggle to sleep when he sleeps during the day and difficult with the never ending laundry 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Sorry you've been feeling a bit sad about not experiencing a natural labour. It sounds like, given your history, it's the right decision. I remember feeling the same when the decision was almost taken out of my hands. I desperately wanted to experience that natural birth, but with hindsight now and seeing how much I struggled with the contractions during labour, c-section was absolutely the right decision for me.

@HopefulllHolly hope your pre-op goes ok today.

Hi all! Hope everyone is doing ok!

@AnnieStar12 How are you getting on? Any updates on the date of your section yet?
I must be strange - I quite liked the last minute booking of mine to be honest! Less time for me to dwell on it - I’m like that with most things though.

@Always28 Totally understand the feelings around section and not having that birth experience. But it’s still magical and much calmer I guess, which for me balances out that stuff. How far along are you now? Sorry if it’s in another post - my brain capacity is not good atm!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Glad to hear you’re doing ok and the hormones have calmed a little! Hows baby boy doing?? Any top tips?

Pre-Op all done. I feel very very overwhelmed now. Stupid stuff like I keep crying over the dog (he’s my baby and was what kept me sane in the infertility trenches), and I feel guilty his little life will change so much. I’m worrying about not having a clue what I’m doing, whether we’ll be good parents and feeling sad that I won’t be pregnant anymore (mad when I haven’t really enjoyed loads of pregnancy but I will miss the feeling of carrying our baby and feeling her in there). Totally daft stuff but I’ve basically cried for 2 days solidly. My mums been great at reassuring me it’s all normal but I think it’s just knowing these are my last couple of days. I feel very overwhelmed by everything. I’m also really scared of the actual surgery. It feels all so final.
I am really excited to meet her but I just feel very overwhelmed I guess. My partner thinks I’ve lost it as I just can’t stop crying. 😢
My mum is very excited and keeps saying she’ll come over Thursday when we get home, and that maybe she can stay (I said no and just to let us see how we get on first), then she said she’ll come over on Saturday and then other people can come see baby on Sunday. So already have 6 people planning on coming over on my side - plus my partners dad and his partner next week. I just said to my mum that no, that’s not happening and I don’t want guests every day, and she’s all like “well that’s what you get”. I get she’s very excited and so is everyone else but I keep having to remind her that she was in hospital for 5 days with all of us, and they used to take the babies away overnight and stuff, that it’s very different to now and only being in hospital for 24 hours and after major surgery. Think I’ll have some expectations to manage even though I thought it would be alright! 🫣😵‍💫
Any way - rant over. Have to be at the hospital by 8am on Wednesday, so early start. Having a nice lunch out tomorrow afternoon, a massage in the evening and a nice long bath. Ready for our little life to change!

@HopefulllHolly so exciting that the day to meet your little girl is finally almost here! 💕
I completely get the overwhelming feeling though and I'm sure everyone here has felt/ feels the same. I also have similar feelings of - can I look after the baby?! And I think it's totally expected for a first time mum. It's all new and not only for us but for them too. Everyday you'll both be learning something new, so I hope you can take one day at a time
Hope you have a lovely relaxing day tomorrow and we'll be excited to hear your news! Best of luck

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 glad that things are starting to improve with the pain and abit more sleep! Must still feel so surreal that he's here 🥰

@Always28 sounds like C-section is the best thing for you and baby, but also understand the sadness of having a natural birth. I'm similar in the way that C-section has been suggested as the most sensible route for me and happy that they will do best to finally bring us a healthy baby. When is 37 weeks for you?

@AnnieStar12 have you had any luck with a date yet? Hope all is on track for next week!

@Everlore congratulations! So pleased that things sound like they are going well 💕

@Fluffyted just catching up on your birthing story! I'm sorry it ended up being such a complicated experience and relieved to hear you are home and well! Hope you're managing to look after yourself and enjoying precious time with your baby girl

Sorry if I've missed anymore updates! I have next scan on Friday with consultant and endocrinologist appointments. Hoping to firm up a plan from there 🤞🤞

@HopefulllHolly wow, so close now! How exciting for you - will be thinking of you this week. Can’t believe the big day is already here!!

I think you’re well within your rights to say yes or no to visitors and you don’t need to worry about it until after you’re back home again as you can just see how you feel, and everyone will understand if you cancel them last minute on the day - it’s totally up to how you’re feeling on the day.

I actually quite liked having one visitor per day with my newborns as it gave a bit of structure to the early days. Also, was helpful having my mum round a lot after the C-section last time as I was quite limited and needed lots of help. This time we’ve asked her to come and stay so we have an extra pair of hands! But I have had to have difficult conversations about my MIL as while I am happy for her to visit, I don’t want her to stay. My partner is a bit upset about it. But it’s different to my own mum and while I like visitors I don’t want them for more than a few hours at a time.

@Always28 sorry to hear about those complications. Is your section booked for late Feb?

@Natty2 goodluck on Friday. Is your plan still C-section at 37 weeks?

As for me, I still don’t have a date for my C-section :(
Im past 37 weeks now and my section is suppose to be in a weeks time. It’s so frustrating as I was always told I’d get it weeks in advance. I’m starting to loose faith in my hospital as at this rate I’ll get it a few days beforehand, if ever!

@HopefulllHolly baby boy is doing well thanks. We seem to have a little routine now. So I'm hoping it continues. We ventured out today to our local shopping mall just for an hour or so and grabbed some lunch. Felt strange to be pushing a pram around but was nice getting out!

I don't think I have any tips at the mo. We are just winging it!

I understand how you feel in terms of the dog, mine was my crutch during the infertility trenches too!!! She's adapting so well though. Every time baby makes a noise, she sits keeping an eye on him 🥰
I also thought I'd miss being pregnant and feeling the baby kicking. I don't think I do. It's nice to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes and not have the constant anxiety around monitoring movements! But all yours feelings are understandable and normal! Once your little girl is here you'll forget everything! We just sit and stare at him thinking how lucky we are and can't quite believe he's here, I'm sure you will too!

As for visitors, put your foot down and do what you need to do to get through those early days. It sounds like you're prepared to put those boundaries in if needed! You won't get this time back, so do what's best for you!!! Enjoy your little baby bubble!!!
I had made it clear to family I was not having visitors for the first 2 days. It upset a lot of people but I needed to put myself first. I then had 4 days of constant visitors (immediate family only) and it was a drain especially feeling the "baby blues" too. DP was good at asking family not to turn up and would let them know when I was ready for them to come over which helped massively.

@LouP87 thank you for sharing your induction story. we’re all learning from you here! it sounds like it was quite the journey but you did it, made it to the other side, and I’m so pleased that both you and the baby are healthy and happy. it’s funny how many women come out of their vaginal deliveries (especially if they haven’t been straightforward) thinking I’ll be going for an elective c-section next time. i wish i got a date for mine already!
thank you for sharing your post-birth recommendations as well. I was unsure about some things but the more they get mentioned on here, the more I’m sure they need to be in my hospital bag lol
I’ve also bought some ready-to-drink Kendamil for the hospital bag as well as for home afterwards, just to remove some of the pressure. Have you been using the bottle as it comes, or have you poured it into a separate bottle, and what did you go for? Did the baby have any trouble taking it?
Breastfeeding does seem to be this mystical journey that seems to come easy to some more than others and you can never know ahead how it's going to go, a bit like with labour. I’ve started reading this book recommended by HPHB on the topic and it seems useful, though I’ve only read up to the point of delivery. have a look through it though, the kindle version is only 99p! - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B019JE5E44?linkCode=ssc&tag=onamzhappypar-21&creativeASIN=B019JE5E44&asc_item-id=amzn1.ideas.2VG6I1A3MRQ6G&ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ons_mixed_d_asin

@Fluffyted thank you for sharing the products that helped you most during the recovery, but most of all thank you for sharing your birth story! I can’t believe that they left you waiting a whole day again, and I’m so sorry to hear that you had to go through all that, poor you! and your partner as well! I think my husband would have fainted having to see me go through all that but it sounds like your partner stayed strong for both you and the baby, and recording the series of “firsts” was a very cute idea. It’s all in the past now, and I’m so happy for you that the baby is healthy and you’ve recovered to be able to bond together, and most of all that you’re loving the whole experience! Melts my little heart hearing that. I hope that they’ll offer you some sort of talking therapy support as that was a lot to go through and you’ll want to process your trauma. Enjoy your bubble!

@HopefulllHolly oh no, you’re not a flake! This is a safe space and we can all understand your thinking, worries and decisions. I can totally relate to your decision to go with a c section in the end, and I can also understand why you were so drawn to the vaginal route for so long. Courses like HPHB make it sound like everyone was doing it wrong up until now and now we know about UFO positions and that will make it aaaaall better and magical lol
Glad to hear that your pre-op went well and can’t believe you’re likely going to have your baby in your arms on Wed! Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly and according to schedule, and I love everything that you've planned for tomorrow!
I so get you on the mothers and visitors point. I don’t know how all of a sudden a baby is in the picture and it’s all about what THEY want as opposed to what YOU want, the person who went through all the IVF, grew them for 9 months, had just gone through a major surgery and is dealing with no sleep, latching, wound pain and hormones at the same time. That’s when they want to come visit haha at no other point in life or after any other procedure would someone rush to come over and get all up in your business, it's ridiculous.
As others have said, you may welcome your mum's help, especially after the c section, but you know as well that you'll need to put your foot down and tell her that she (and them) can come over when you're ready and you'll let them know when that is. They don't have to like it, just to respect it.
Luckily both of our mothers have been managed around when to visit for the first time, but even I stayed up until 3 am last night all annoyed because my MIL invited herself over on Sunday (which now got moved to tomorrow). It feels like a preview for what's it going to be like when the baby is here. My husband is quite good at managing her but she's just been so much clingier the closer I get to the due date and constantly wants to do stuff together, and we've said no to a few things in a row already, so my husband had to say yes to this to get it out of the way. But then she also asks me questions whether I've prepared this or that, when she's clearly taking up my time to be able to actually get on with my list and do that stuff, especially as my energy is limited these days and I'll be using it tomorrow spending time with her. Anyway, rant over.
Regarding the dog, are you doing all of that stuff with playing crying baby noises in the background to get them used to having a baby in the house, or what was the other one, bringing something of the baby’s back home before you get discharged so that they can get used to the smell and the new person in the house? I’m sure there’s more tips out there.

@AnnieStar12 I so get you and why you’re so anxious about not having a final date for your c section yet, especially as you’ve been told that you’ll have it 3 weeks before and that seems to be the norm in NHS. I know I'll feel more relaxed when I'll have one date and one scenario to work towards, not all of them "just in case". Hope you get your date this week, and do try contacting PALS!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 a big hug for you! the first week will always be a bit of a wild ride but you’re doing fantastic, and I’m so pleased that the baby is doing well and the midwives are good with the weight. Oh my gosh I just read that you already have a routine and you did your first outing, you're acing motherhood ! :)

@Always28 yay for getting a place in the class you wanted at the last minute! Thanks for sharing, I can see why they would recommend an early c section. It sounds like you’ve experienced a bit of labour 14 years before and it wasn’t quite the magical idyllic experience that some of these classes make you think it is for everyone lol But someone on here said it very well that the birth, however you do it, is just a small step towards meeting your baby and I always think of that. You forget the delivery as soon as the baby is placed into your arms and the big new challenge now is looking after this baby, forming a life long bond and all of that. That is the magical bit I think :)

@Everlore congrats and hope things are going well since you've last posted!

@Natty2 hope the scan on Friday goes well and good luck with the endocrinologist appt as well

Everyone's been so busy! I loved reading what life with a baby is like in the first couple of weeks, and can't wait to hear more of those stories once the next lot of babies join us in the next 2 weeks.

As for me, I had my 34 weeks midwife appointment today. I had low BP and was feeling under the weather, but since it's not a pattern for me, the midwife wasn't very concerned and told me to drink more water. My mum also told me to snack on some salty things. I got perkier throughout the day, but I was probably tired as well from not being able to sleep until 3 am (was all annoyed about my MIL inviting herself over lol). Otherwise I've been sleeping quite well before last night and I'm quite grateful for that. Struggling with my achey rib and the heartburn (having ginger tea and a Gaviscon before bed every night) and my hips are a bit more difficult, especially after I've sat in my desk chair for a longer while, as I struggle to bring my pelvis forward these days or engage the abs with the bigger bump. I'm past the point where I can pick up stuff from the floor lol

We're now in full mode with both sets of antenatal classes. Both my husband and I agree that we like the people in HPHB most, and the instructor in NCT most, so we're glad we're doing them both in the end. These things are always hit and miss as it depends on the instructor, but I feel that our particular HPHB instructor isn't as good at conveying information, and she's overly positive about everything. And in the desire to keep things positive, I feel like she glosses over a lot of details when it comes to L&D and the various interventions. I also feel that all of the terminology doesn't resonate with me personally e.g. "surges" "abdominal birth" but I do like that the class is more practical in-person. Last week we practiced various UFO poses, breathing, massages, meditations and you have all those on your portal to access during L&D if need be. At the other end, I felt that our NCT instructor was amazing at conveying and structuring information. She laid out a timeline on the floor for the L&D and showed us diagrams of where the baby is in their progress, told us where various interventions come in, why, and how they would work, what alternatives they remove if you go for them and so on. So it felt a lot more realistic and balanced and I'd feel more prepared to go through labour after that (though I still hope for a c section). Either way, it helped me to form opinions for my birth plan, along with everyone's stories shared on here.

Other than that, I find it exhausting having to prepare mentally for both routes, like the obstetrician advised, because "anything can happen". I wish they would just give me a c section date now. But I still have a few more hoops to jump through until then. The birth options midwife call is tomorrow, the 36 weeks growth scan next Friday, then meeting the obstetrician on the 4th, and the day after I'm meeting the midwife to input my birth preferences into their system. Though their questions are so broad and lack any context for these decisions I'm supposed to make, that I made my own birth plan that's more like "if this, then i want this" "if that, then i want that". Look forward to getting past all of this stuff, having a c section date in the calendar and just planning towards that. Obviously in the meantime I hope that the 36 weeks scan goes well. It's not lost on me that I haven't seen the baby since 20 weeks, but she's been quite active in there and the midwives have always been pleased with the evolution so hopefully all is well.

Thanks all for the kind words. I feel like I’ve gone mental with all the crying and emotions! I’ve had to call my mum just to cry at her down the phone. 🤣

@Natty2 Im sure I’ll be ok once she’s here. I guess it’s a learning curve for any new parents and baby, we’ll adapt. I need to just relax and enjoy it as I know I will never get this time again, it’s just very emotional. I hope I can get through tomorrow without crying all day to be honest! 🤣 Good luck on Friday, let us know how you get on!

@AnnieStar12 I guess it’s just hard knowing how I’ll feel until I’m in it. At the moment I want to protect my bubble and get very easily overwhelmed with social things (my baby shower for example was lovely but I found it overwhelming and now feel like I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I could have been at the time, but inside I was I just find it strange and surreal still, if that makes sense!).
Definitely get you on the in-laws. My partner’s mum died so his dads long term partner is around and she hasn’t had children (couldn’t sadly) and is also very old school, she has had a nasty cold and cough for months now and is also prone to lying/bending the truth, so when I asked her if she was well she says yet but my partners dad says she isn’t. So it’s stressful as I don’t want to make them feel uninvolved. They also have a tendency to just turn up despite living 2 hours away - or turn up hours before they are meant to. They won’t lift a finger so it won’t be like my mum where she will manage guests and support my partner - they will expect lunch and endless cups of coffee, and it’s quite a challenge without a baby and with me working at full capacity! So that is upsetting me. My partners dad is also quite dismissive though I know he’s excited and I think my partner is missing his mum immensely as his dad hasn’t offered any guidance or words of encouragement at all. I feel sorry for him and that’s adding to my emotions too.
I think with guests though I’ll just have to generally see how I feel - you might be right and I might want the structure of people visiting to our days.
Did they say your C-section was at a certain gestation or did they just go by the date of the 30th? It does sound like because there’s not a medical need now (I mean GD or anything) that maybe they’ll just wait until the week before? It might have changed and certainly in my area it’s a week ahead of time because of the nature of booking surgeries. They’ll fit you in though, stick to your timeline and try not to get too panicked about it; though I know it’s easier me saying that than in practice! I just called the ward in the end as I hadn’t been called by 39 weeks. (I’m actually having her in the delivery operating room reserved for emergencies because they are booked on the main theatre list as I was a late consultant request - so they’ll have ways to fit you in late on 😊).

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Sounds like you’re doing amazing! And getting out the house and having a routine is great. I’m worried I’ll literally just be winging it and baby will be all over the place and me too. I’m glad you don’t miss the bump and stuff, I thought you might but it’s clearly something that just stops with the arrival of baby which is reassuring! I do not however think I’ll be back in pre-baby clothes. I’m ginormous now - my bump is lovely and compact but my bum and hips are so incredibly wide it’s insane, and my legs are huge. I think my thighs must be 3 times the size they were. Depressing! My mum didn’t lose weight until after she stopped breastfeeding either 🫣😵‍💫

@ThePeachGoose When you put it like that it does sound crazy doesn’t it 🤣 I think I’ll just have to see how I get on and feel. I’d like to hope I recover ok but I’m also renown for trying to do too much all the time, so it’s going to be interesting seeing if I can slow myself down.
It’s really annoying managing other people’s expectations and saying no to people gets draining as you feel guilty. It gets a lot with people asking you random stuff - also with IVF everyone knows your dates and the texts asking you if you’ve had baby or how you’re doing get insane! It’s lovely and everyone’s so excited but it’s a lot when you have no energy and are overstimulated already!
Havent done loads with the dog, just had all the baby stuff out. He’s managed to catch wind there are cuddly toys in various cots and Moses baskets and his memory is incredible so he often goes to try and get them himself (can’t reach at all but he is persistent and clever!). My partner will be coming home Wednesday night with Rocco to get some proper sleep (he can stay with me all night but I want him to have a good sleep so at least one of us does), so he can bring a blanket home of the babies then. Fingers crossed it helps!

Right ladies - I’m going to sign off until baby is here. I’ll see you all on the other side! Lots of love to you all, thank you all sooooo much for all your support the last 9 months - I dont think I’d be half as prepared or supported if I didn’t have you all to chat to all this time! I appreciate you all massively. ❤️ So strange saying bye knowing the next time I pop on I’ll be a mummy. Sending lots of love xx

@HopefulllHolly I’m in the middle of something atm but I wanted to on one point before you completely log off.

I told a friend who’s had a c section that I was planning to send my husband home during the night so that he can be well rested for the next day, and she said that it might not be a good idea. After a c section you might not be able to get out of bed when the baby is crying in the middle of the night, and midwives don’t come as often during the night shift to hand you the baby and take them back, so then you’re stuck for hours in a row with the baby in your arms, trying not to fall asleep. The thing is, she did fall asleep and she dropped the baby 🙊 so she (understandably) strongly encouraged me to keep my husband at the hospital over night if possible.

I don’t know if the other ladies who’ve had c sections have struggled with this. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

If I have did miss you though, see you on the other side, and hope you have a smooth delivery and holding the baby for the first time brings you lots of happiness and joy 🥰