BFPs after IVF - part 3 (babies start arriving)

[HopefulllHolly]

Hi all,

SENSITIVE CONTENT - discusses pregnancy and birth after infertility

Continuation of previous threads for anyone with a BFP following IVF. This thread we should have some of us giving birth!

@anniestar12
@dippyduck19
@fluffyted
@leaf86
@loup87
@natty2
@thepeachgoose
@always28
@edf

Hi everyone - starting another thread! Will post the link in the other thread in case others still want to chat but for now have only added people who have posted more recently. 😊

Congratulations @Leaf86 !! Can't believe the first baby is here 💕 glad that everything went well for you and no hysterectomy needed!
Are you both home now?

@ThePeachGoose exciting that you start NCT in a few days! We really enjoyed our antenatal classes and actually planning to meet the girls next week for dinner. 2 already have their babies!

@Fluffyted not long for you left!! Do you have anything nice and chilled planned for this weekend before baby arrives?
I'm getting on ok thanks, the sciatica massively improved but being in the office for the last two days I've definitely noticed back pain is on the rise again! Planning on stopping in just under 3 weeks now but will play it by ear!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 so exciting!! Can't believe it won't be long until baby boy is here 🩵🩵

@HopefulllHolly sounds like you're making amazing progress on nesting! That will be my plan now for the rest of the month in between work. Sorry to hear about your mums fall, hope she's ok!

@AnnieStar12 sorry to hear you're so uncomfortable at the moment. Fingers crossed you get the date come through soon!

@ThePeachGoose thank you! I didn’t this time because there was a strike at the lab and they didn’t have the blood available for potential transfusion, so I had to be transferred to another London hospital. I did have my first c section at St Thomas in 2023. Yes to skin to skin in theatre at St Thomas’ (they turned my hospital gown around) but I wasn’t well enough to do it until afterwards this time. I did have golden hour skin to skin afterwards (including immediate feeding) both times, but you do feel a bit shivery and shaky! I didn’t struggle with constipation either time thankfully. Poo on day 2 this time! I had lactulose in hospital, snacked on dried prunes and drank a ton of water. I didn’t bring my pillow, but only because I find the hospital gross and didn’t want it in there (!). The hospital pillows are useless though. The two best things I brought with me were a massive insulated water flask with handle and straw so I could drink cold water one-handed whilst breastfeeding / holding the baby and a handheld fan (because the ward is so hot and I also got hormonal hot flashes post birth). Partners and dads could stay over in both hospitals. I was catheterised for 12 hours for both and immobile during that time. They get you up and walking (gingerly) when the catheter comes out. Hope that helps!

@AnnieStar12 thank you! 💕 we are just home and I have to say there was something very peaceful about being at the hospital with just the baby. Coming home to family life has been lovely but obviously chaos 😂 Hope you get your c section date soon and the fatigue passes. I was a zombie towards the end.

@Natty2 yes home now, thankfully. good luck with finishing off at work! Almost there! You must be really looking forward to stopping.

@Natty2 what a success story with your local NCT group there! We start HPHB on Tue and we're very curious how it will all go and what people are like

@Leaf86 WELCOME HOME! Hope that you have a good support network that allows you to get some time and space to focus on getting in a routine in place with the lil' one, not to mention recover from the c-section (though it sounds you're doing great on that front!). Also, THANK YOU for taking the time to write all that and reply to all of my questions. That all sounds very positive but sorry to hear that they had to move you to a different hospital. Glad it all went well and thank you for the tips!

Hi everyone. Very weird not being back at work today with everyone else! My partner works for himself from home and usually is triggered to get up by me - was chuckling to myself this morning when he overslept and started his day flustered! Hows everyone doing today?

@LouP87 happy last day before baby!! Bet it’s so surreal! Are you all ready? @Fluffyted How are you doing? Couple more days and you’re there! Hope the nerves are settling now. What have you got planned?

@Leaf86 Welcome home! Hope you’ve managed to get a bit of a rest and recovery in and kept things as calm as possible! How’s baby doing?

@AnnieStar12 Hope you get your dates soon! Sounds like baby girl is being cheeky in funny positions - hopefully at your appointment this week they can tell you where she is (though I think she’ll still move a bit as I think second babies don’t go head down until later for some reason?) I feel you on the fluid build up - I am like a whale. My face is like that scene from Drop Dead Fred where he gets squashed in the fridge 🤣🤣 (niche reference!). I have the biggest double chin and generally feel revolting!

@Natty2 Yeah I’ve been a nesting demon but mainly as I had a lot to do post Christmas and now is the only time I’ve had to do it what with work and plans. Still have a list to get through (entirely of my own making) but I’m also making a real effort to rest as much as I can now. My mums all ok now - she’s like me where she just carries on to be honest and is very stubborn and won’t be told - so she didn’t rest it as long as she should have but seems ok now thankfully! Hope the back pain is improving for you and the last bit of time at work goes quickly - what a trooper!!

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Any news yet from
you?

As for me - I had my baby shower on Saturday which was lovely. Nice and low key and not at all fussy. Got lots of beautiful presents and things for the baby. I’m very VERY glad that that’s the last social thing in my diary now, just a midwife appt tomorrow and hospital/obstetrician appointment Wednesday to get through before due date. Not entirely sure how im going to get to either as the snow where I am is horrendous and my bloody fat swollen feet won’t fit in my hiking boots or wellies, and the roads are too bad for the car still. Although I’d like baby to come before her due date I’m hoping she stays in there this week until it all melts (but temp doesn’t get above 0 until the end of the week 😅).
Im having minor panics about birth still - if I let myself dwell too much on it I get quite scared. I said to my partner last night I was getting a bit scared and we had a good chat but I still feel a bit terrified to be honest. Terrified I’ll not know I’m in proper labour, get to the hospital late or have baby in the car 😅, that it’ll be too painful, that the birthing pools won’t be free, that something will happen to baby, that something will happen to me, that my partner won’t cope, that the dog will be a little terrorist and it’ll be stressful. Basically scared of everything! I wish I could block it out. Need to practice some hypnobirthing and breathing and watch some positive birth videos I think to try and counter the negative thoughts.
Physically, aside from being a whale with 5 chins, I feel ok. My sleep has improved the last few nights which I’m grateful for. I still go to the toilet about 7 times in the night but manage to get back to sleep. I’ve been getting light period like pains for a few days and backache but nothing crazy. Last night I had lightning crotch for the first time and that was quite horrible. Been bouncing and drinking lots of tea, haven’t eaten any dates yet because I can’t stand them 😅, have been trying to get colostrum too but not had any success whatsoever. Baby has massively dropped now so I can breathe slightly better, but it hurts a lot when I walk, I feel like I’m crushing her head or something tbh! It’s really painful!
Other than the above I feel good - we’re ready to meet her now and it is just a waiting game for when she decides she’s ready to come earth side. I’m very excited but very scared in equal parts. 💓 Think we may have a name now too!

@HopefulllHolly glad your baby shower went well!!

Your symptoms sound positive in terms of cramps, backache and lightening crotch. Hopefully won't be too much longer. Completely understand all your thoughts though about everything that might not go to plan. I'm sure everything will be ok!! Just put into practice some hypnobirthing techniques and positive affirmations!!

Update from me: I ended up in triage again with reduced movements over the weekend but baby all ok. Was referred for urgent scan today. He's measuring 2 and a half weeks bigger and they are now worried I have developed gestational diabetes and will be at risk of shoulder distocia during labour. I am going for some more tests tomorrow and then appointment with consultant on Thursday to discuss plans. If gestational diabetes confirmed they will want to deliver baby around 39 weeks (which I am tomorrow). But I'm thinking he's clearly happy in there and showing no signs of coming any time soon. I feel like if I was induced this week, it's likely to be unsuccessful. Especially if he is measuring big (I'm only petite myself). I really don't want to end up having an emergency section, so may now just see if I can have an elective section. Really confused now as to what to do for the best.

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Oh my gosh! Sounds like a stressful Sunday. It’s great he’s thriving in there, not so great they are saying it might be GD! It’s strange they do more tests when you’re so close to due date anyway - surely it’s a bit pointless? Which would you prefer to do? It’s so hard when the growth scans aren’t an exact science with measuring him, so elective might just be easier. Bless you must be a lot to think about! Hope you’re ok. Hopefully your appointment on Thursday will shed some light! Either way, you’ll meet your beautiful little boy very soon which is sooooo exciting! I’m giddy for you! 😍😍😍

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Could you ask a midwife to check your cervix and see what it’s doing? It could be favourable already in which case it might help you make a decision? (I’m planning on asking them to check before I do any sweeps)

@HopefulllHolly it's soo hard knowing what to do for the best! It's times like this that I wish I had a crystal ball!!!
I was wondering what the point of the tests are especially as I'm soo close to my due date. They said it was entirely up to me. I thought I may as well get some definitive answers so we know what we are working with. But probably looking like baby boy could be induced or making an appearance over the weekend! Feels a little scary!
My consultant is very to the point and will probably go along with what I want to help with my anxiety. I feel like I need to have some idea of what I want to do going into the appointment so we can discuss it. Ahh it's soo difficult!! 🤯

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Id probably write a list of your questions down and then have a list of pros and cons for induction/csection - ask your consultant for their input on both. Ask them how much the growth scans can be out by etc too. I think if you have all the facts it will help get your head a bit straighter. I mean, in your consultants expert opinion there must be one option that’s safest for
you and baby, whilst bearing in mind you would have chosen a vaginal birth originally. How much did they say he’s weighing now?

It’s such a difficult situation now but I think once you’ve spoken with your consultant and asked loads of questions about the choices and what’s safest you’ll feel better. And in some ways it’s nice to almost have the choice taken away if they have strong views on one birth over another. Whatever happens you’ll be fine, and it won’t matter once you have your little boy in your arms (in a few days eeeeeeek!! 🥰🥹)

Baby is measuring 8lb 6oz which isn't huge and likely to be a bit out! This was his predicted weight originally but didn't mind induction once past 40 weeks but feel like before 40 weeks it's more likely to end up needing assistance.
Will write out a list of my thoughts, pros/cons etc and see what consultant says.
Today's scan has really thrown me off! I'm just struggling physically and being uncomfortable and not sleeping hasn't helped either. I just want him out lol

@HopefulllHolly forgot to tag you

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Yeah I’d feel exactly the same lovely. It’s almost like you just want someone to tell you how it will be rather than have another decision or thing to worry about. What does your partner think?
Oh ok - his weight is not that big at all! The amount of threads on here with babies being measured 9lbs plus and coming out at 6lbs is mad! To be honest I’d probably see what the tests say, and then if you don’t have GD and he’s just growing nicely then stick to your guns and wait for him to come (or have induction at 40 weeks, whatever you’d be happiest with). If you do have GD then ask your consultant what the risks are of not having a C-section/induction and whether you could just have more monitoring? But that’s just me - and I’d rather have a section than an induction (because like you I’d prefer not to have an emergency section or interventions and if you aren’t ready the induction can last for days). Gosh I’m confused for you! It’s a minefield isn’t it. Sending hugs! 🤗

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Not sure if you like reading (and it could overwhelm you further) but I quite like reading lots of facts and things - found this online if it helps!

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-for-induction-or-c-section-for-big-baby/

@HopefulllHolly thanks for the link. Will have a read during my 2hr wait during the tests tomorrow.

I think I'll lean towards a planned section if they want to induce early. I don't want to take the risk of not being ready, it taking days and then the increased risk of assisted delivery or emergency section. DP has no opinion on it and will just go with whatever I decide, which I don't find helpful! I'm the most indecisive person usually anyway! I just want someone to make the decision for me 😂

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 Im the same! 😂 And so is my partner - he’d just say it’s your choice too. Infuriating! I’d probably do what you are doing too. The BRAIN thing might help you with your conversations on Thursday (benefit, risk, alternative, intuition, nothing). I’ve used it quite a bit when I keep yo-yoing around birth scenarios…still not as good as someone just telling you what to do though 🤣

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 good luck with those appointments tomorrow. Curious why they’re doing the extra gd tests if they’re offering an induction/c-section anyways! But sounds like you have a fairly clear picture of what you want already - C-section over induction - so that’s a good starting point to your conversations. Good luck. Let us know how you get on!

@LouP87 goodluck, hope all goes well x

@HopefulllHolly glad your baby shower went well. And yeah I can relate to how you’re feeling, it is a stressful time! I’m dreading the birth to be honest and also worry about all the things that could go wrong. I’m also finding mad things to worry about - my latest is having really dark thoughts that the clinic put the wrong embryo in or something crazy like that. Honestly, I think at this stage I’m only going to relax when baby is in my arms.

First official day of maternity leave today, whoop! But bad news is I’ve come down with a stinking cold!! Just typical timing, Ggrr! Everyone in my house has taken it in turns to be ill in recent weeks so since stopping work for Xmas I’ve been looking after different members of the family! I’m just desperate for some lovely indulgent maternity leave days before baby comes. At least the toddler is back at nursery tomorrow so I might get some rest at least! And on the plus side I’d rather everyone gets sick now and not when baby is here. Hopefully I’ll have some immunity in time for the birth.

I also went in to the hospital at the weekend as I was worried about how swollen I was getting - everything was fine luckily but the midwife thinks the baby is still in an odd position from her prodding around. So we’ll see what Friday’s scan brings. Friday is my final midwife check and scan but then there’s no further appointments after that so feel a bit weird like I’m just gonna be left alone. Still no word about my C-section date, and no information at all about what it entails. I know the consultant said it would be by 39 weeks, which is only 3 weeks away. I wonder if they wait until my 36 week scan to see if there might be a reason to do it sooner before locking down a date. Will ask on Friday.

I’ve started binge watching one born every minute. It’s helping me get in the zone for sure!

@AnnieStar12 Oh bless you on those intrusive thoughts! I’ve had the exact same - I had to tell myself I was being totally ridiculous worrying about them mixing up embryos and things but I guess it’s normal to worry at this stage. Try and push it out of your mind. I know in my head my clinic read out my number and partners number repeatedly for everything, so it’d be very rare I imagine!
So sorry you’re down with a cold too, worst timing and typical just as you start maternity leave. Hope you get some proper rest today now the little one is back to nursery. Sounds like you need it after a busy Christmas of playing nurse to others! Hope someone can look after you now.

How come Friday is your last appointment? Don’t you have one at 36 and 38 weeks too? I think from the threads on here most trusts don’t book you in until a week before your C-section - maybe it’s the same with you? So you’d not hear until 38 weeks.
See if you can watch the Delivering Babies programme! It’s so lovely and much less dramatic than one born (even though I love watching that too).

Ive got my community midwife appointment today but I’ve just moved my hospital consultant appointment to Monday as the snow and ice near us is just thick black ice now, all the roads are an ice rink and it’s just silly trying to drive in it. I’m panicking as it is to walk the 10 mins to the doctors today as it’s so bad, let alone drive anywhere! Hope baby doesn’t decide to come between now and the weekend as it doesn’t get above 0 and is -4 in the day time tomorrow. 😖 It’s making me very stressed worrying about it!

@LouP87 GOOD LUCK TODAY, hope all goes well!

@HopefulllHolly glad your mum is doing okay. And happy to hear you had a nice time at your baby shower! I think we’ll just forego ours as neither of us can be bothered with it now and we feel over socialised after November & December.
Hope you’ll be able to get to your appointment today! And fingers crossed the baby stays in there over the next few days.
I totally understand all of the worries around birth. I’m a planner too so the unpredictability of it all and having to let myself go with the flow and go all “be what may” would not be easy. But you’ve got this! You’re the most prepared and read one here on all things birth.
Uh I was wondering how it feels when baby starts descending and as expected, not great. It does sound like your body is actively preparing for birth though and you’re almost there! But stay in there for a few more days baby!
Omg congratulations on the name decision!!! I’m pleased that it worked out in the end, and with plenty of time to spare.

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 oh dear, I hope it’s not GD! The baby doesn’t seem huge but I guess there must have been a growth spurt that set the sonographer on alert?
I think that at this point it’s good to get more information in (the GD test, maybe a cervix check as @HopefulllHolly suggested) and conferring with your consultant too so that you can make the best decision you can with the information available to you at this moment in time. But it sounds like you have a good framework for decisions if it is GD (c section over induction).

@AnnieStar12 oh god even I’ve had the passing thought about the embryo and whether the lab has made a mistake 😂 but then I’m like “well, it is what it is and we’ll deal with that later, nothing I can do about it now”
Yay for maternity leave and nay for all those colds in the house. My husband is currently going through a pretty bad one (unlike him) and I made him sleep in the nursery. So far I haven’t been affected. I had a cold just 2 months ago and it was hell, yet another thing preventing me from sleeping at night and it took me ages to get back to normal, so I feel for you! Hope the extra rest and self care will kick it out of your system soon.
Silver lining as you say is that it makes it less likely that anyone will be ill when the baby is here.
Is the scan on Friday your 36 weeks scan followed by the 36 weeks midwife appt? That is definitely the big one that informs the birth plan (though they’ve already requested a c section for you, right? So it will probably be the final confirmation that they can go with the original date and that nothing else is going on as this scan is more likely to check on the state of the placenta / blood flow being the extra IVF scan), but NHS has two more routine appointments, at 38 and 40 weeks, so you’d probably get at least one more ahead of the big day I reckon.

@HopefulllHolly @ThePeachGoose ah it’s actually a big relief to know you both had those same passing thoughts/worries - makes me think it’s all normal.

Ah I just checked, and you’re right there is another midwife appointment at 38 weeks. This week is the ‘big’ 36 week appointments so hopefully they’ll be thorough anyways.
My hospital has two appointment pathways and if it’s not your first baby they see you less often so I got confused at which ones they skip - it’s the 40 week appointment they skip if you’re not a first time mum. But I shouldn’t get to 40 weeks as they’ve always said they want me delivered before then so that doesn’t matter. Glad you guys got me to check as that is reassuring!

@HopefulllHolly hopefully the ice will all
clear up in time. As a Londoner, it’s hard to imagine being snowed in! Hope midwife check goes okay today - is this your 38 week check? And is your consultant appointment on Monday just a routine one, or were you referred for something? Thanks for the TV tip - I am planning to stay in bed today and just watch stuff, and defo in the market for all things birthing related :)

@ThePeachGoose how you getting on? Are you still working?

@ThePeachGoose Ah yeah I get what you mean about being over socialised! I feel like your social battery runs out quicker when pregnant! I just want to hide away. I really enjoyed celebrating baby though, as I think she’ll be our only one unless a natural miracle happens!
I think my issue is I’ve over read on everything birth and now it’s becoming a reality I’m scared. But it’ll all work out I hope.
Weirdly baby dropped for me and I felt good as it’s helped me to breathe a bit better but then I think she engaged properly when I felt a big click when having a wee. Which was a weird feeling!

@AnnieStar12 Yeah I think we’ll all have had those intrusive thoughts, it’s normal! Pregnancy is scary! Glad you worked out your appointments - it would be weird with a gap of a month! Tbh my 36 week was longer but rubbish - I think maybe as I’m giving birth in a different trust area than I live in and see the community midwife in, so they don’t go in to loads of details. Also the midwife was just a bit combative with me and it made me defensive (not my normal community midwife who is lovely).
Haha yeah i know what you mean - when I lived in London we had one massive snow storm one year but that was it. Up where I live near the Yorkshire dales im in the countryside and on top of a hill so we do tend to get a huge amount of snow. It’s lovely but it’s honestly like an ice rink at the moment as it’s so cold and doesn’t warm up until Saturday. Not helping my anxiety!
Yeah today was my 38 week community midwife appointment and then the one on Monday is at the hospital I’m having her at where I’ll talk to the obstetrician about birth plans and make sure I’m all prepared and they know what I want I think. No more scans or anything!

Made it to the midwife appointment which was terrifying - I gave up and walked in the middle of the road because it was too dangerous and I kept getting braxton hicks 😂😂 At one point I had a double decker driving behind me slowly waiting for me to move but I held my ground 🤣
Baby is measuring exactly on her growth pattern which is good. She gave her a feel and said she’s fully engaged from what she can tell, so I think it was her head locking in when I felt that weird click movement maybe. I mentioned it and she said probably was anyway! She didn’t give me a score out of 5 for how engaged though so not sure if it was a 5/5 or anything!
Im booked for a sweep on Tuesday at 38+5 which is scary, and another at 39+5 the following week if she’s not coming by then. The midwife said first time mums tend to need more than one usually but it depends on how ready my cervix is anyway I guess. Hopefully it kick starts her next week though!

Thanks for the all the well wishes all 🙂 nothing really happening here. Was admitted at 10:30am this morning, had ops taken but not seen a doctor yet so no idea what the plan is!

I’ve also got the worst cold and cough I’ve ever had in my life, paracetamol doesn’t touch the pain and the cough has kept my awake for the last two/three days. I’m hoping when the doctor finally gets round to me they will feel sorry for me and give me something extra 😂

@LouP87 Oh you poor thing! Both with with waiting all day and the nasty sounding chest and cold. Typical bad timing! I can’t believe they’ve just left you there for 5 hours! Have midwives said anything?

Hey guys!

@LouP87 how's it all going? Did you get your induction in the end yday? Sucks you were left waiting for so long, what a pain!
Worst timing for a cold & cough too 😣 you poor thing! I hope you're feeling ok? Hopefully they can give you some meds to help you feel better.

@HopefulllHolly ohhh gosh, you poor thing. It really sounds like the snow has been quite bad where you are, and of course the worst timing so close to your due date!!
I woke up yday to a blanket of snow but it melted quite quickly as was super thin (I'm in the south-west). I just saw on the weather that the temp is getting slightly warmer on the weekend so hopefully that means the end of the snow 🤞❄️ I normally love a bit of snow when I have no where to go 🤣 but this is the worse timing.
Well done for braving the walk to the midwife though! I think if have given up with the slippy ice, I'm too clumsy at the best of times.
I'm so glad your baby is measuring well & your appointment was good, aww and your baby is fully engaged!! Fab sign for when labour starts, at least you can feel relieved she's in the correct & easiest position to come out!!

At my final midwife appointment last week my baby was measuring 3.5 weeks behind and wasn't engaged 🙈 not that it matters with my c-section booked in but still I did feel a little unsure of what happens if I went into birth naturally first - though apparently some babies can get into position right at the last minute during labour.
Anyway we shall see what size my little lady comes out - I really don't get the midwife sizing!!!

@AnnieStar12 Awww lovely I've also had those thoughts! So has my partner. I think it's natural we weren't actually watching the samples & dishes the whole time but I reckon it's very very rare that anything ever gets mixed up in the lab!
I've also been having horrible thoughts about things going wrong & worrying about all the worst cases scenarios, but I'm trying to focus on just the positives and tackle anything negative that crops up on the day, as it comes. Otherwise my thoughts & imagination would just get carried away!!
I hope you're ok! Yay glad your maternity has officially started ... sucks about having a cold though. Hopefully you can get some much needed relaxing time when your toddler is at nursery 🤞

@WhiskeyInTheJar33 how's things going? How did your appointments go?
What a nightmare having to have test for GD now of all times during your pregnancy. I hope it's not stressing you out too much!! Your poor thing, I can imagine it's thrown you into a dilemma of decision making.
If you do end up needing to make a decision about birth - whichever you choose will be perfect for you & baby, trust & follow your gut instinct as it's you going through it. I'm sure the doctors & midwives will help guide you and give you all the advice you need.

@HopefulllHolly glad your baby shower went well!! How exciting. I know the feeling - anything socially involving wipes me out!

@Leaf86 how are you & baby doing? How's your first few days at home been? 😍
I hope you've settled in nicely & enjoying all the newborn snuggles 🥰
Thank you for all the info you've given it's really helped with settling my nerves!

@Fluffyted I was just thinking of you! Is it c-section day today? What time are you booked in? So excited for you lovely!! 🥰 Baby Ted is soon to be earth side!

@Fluffyted I had the pessary around 4:30pm yesterday in the end, but they’ve taken it out early as baby wasn’t happy with back to back contractions it was causing early this morning. Not sure what next step is - I’m only 1cm and not fully effaced even with that. They’ve put in a cannula ready for an IV, which I assume will be for hormone drip at some point!