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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

43 with 1 IVF baby, is there a chance for an other one?

6 replies

EE13 · 16/11/2024 14:04

I am in a very not good place right now. I am angry at myself, my husband, and the whole world basically. I really don’t know what shall I do. We met with my husband late in life ( I was 38, he 42) and we immediately started to try for babies. After six unsuccessful months we went to the doctors. Basically with me they said everything was ok, husband’s sperm quality not so much. We immediately started down the IVF route and I was lucky that I needed a fairly low dosage of hormones. We ended up with 14 eggs, 5 embryos. We were super happy. Started implantation one by one and they were all failing. After the third failure I got very discouraged and I said we needed a break. Long story short at the hospital seeing my frustration and finally taking my complaints about heavy and painful periods more seriously they did some more tests and they realized that I had a polyp. I was operated in August, in September I went to implant the 4th embryo and in June 2023 my beautiful baby boy was born. I was so so happy. So the problem is that time was ticking and where my husband and I are living they support IVF only until the age of 43. When my baby was 7 months old we went to implant the last embryo from the first cycle, but that failed unfortunately. So we decided to do another cycle even though my husband wasn’t happy about it ( he is afraid that the hormones are not the safest and they can trigger things like cancer which I have in my family). But I so much want an other baby. So this time around my hormone levels were not so good anymore and I needed triple dose. We had three embryos. Today I just lost the second one and we still have 1 frozen. But I am already worried that won’t work out as well. I am so torn, sad and exhausted. I didn’t know that babies were this amazing, I am so much in love with my son want to give him everything including a little brother or sister. I am angry at the doctors at my hospital for not discovering the polyps sooner. We lost 3 maybe perfectly viable embryos like this and nobody can give them back to me. To them they are nothing, to me they were life. I am angry at my husband because he doesn’t want to make an other round ( even though we could afford to go private). I am angry at myself because I am here obsessing about something instead of enjoying my time with my family and little one. My rationale mind knows perfectly that I should be happy and that others would give everything to be in my situation but my heart is aching for an other baby. I would like to hear from you guys some input if you have been in a similar situation, how did you manage it? In all my life I worked hard to make it, somehow it’s difficult to accept when it’s just not up to me.

OP posts:
Stripeybigtop · 18/11/2024 11:54

@EE13 I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I am 42 and had a baby via IVF who is now 3 years old. Long story but I also feel I was failed along the way and lost 2 valuable embryos due to poor care. Because of low chances of success in my case we didn't do more IVF so there will be no more babies. It is very hard but as time has gone on it has slowly become less painful for me and I try to embrace the positives of having one child. Have a look at the one child families board, there are lots of helpful perspectives on there. All the best to you OP x

EE13 · 18/11/2024 18:16

Thank you very much for your answer and for your tip. I will check out the one child board. It feels better to know that I am not alone.

OP posts:
MiniMaisy · 19/11/2024 21:41

I did my icsi when I was 36, it wasn’t in the Uk though. In 2017 my beautiful twins where born (we transferred 2 embryos). They are now 7.5yo and as we still had 2 embryos, the clinic recommended to do PTGA tests before doing a transfer, so one was not good for FET, another one was. I am 44 and they worked with me wonderfully, and now I am 5wks pregnant. Very early days, so I am a bit cautious, but so far so good.
if you have a chance, try abroad. It might be cheaper and more thorough.

EE13 · 20/11/2024 09:16

MiniMaisy · 19/11/2024 21:41

I did my icsi when I was 36, it wasn’t in the Uk though. In 2017 my beautiful twins where born (we transferred 2 embryos). They are now 7.5yo and as we still had 2 embryos, the clinic recommended to do PTGA tests before doing a transfer, so one was not good for FET, another one was. I am 44 and they worked with me wonderfully, and now I am 5wks pregnant. Very early days, so I am a bit cautious, but so far so good.
if you have a chance, try abroad. It might be cheaper and more thorough.

Edited

Thanks for the answer! So happy for you! Wishing you all the best and an easy pregnancy! Where in abroad would you suggest? I heard about Spain … but I am not sure…

OP posts:
MiniMaisy · 20/11/2024 09:23

EE13 · 20/11/2024 09:16

Thanks for the answer! So happy for you! Wishing you all the best and an easy pregnancy! Where in abroad would you suggest? I heard about Spain … but I am not sure…

I did in Latvia. The clinic is called IVF Riga, and my doctor is Dr Fodina
https://ivfriga.lv/en/

Schoolrunmum81 · 10/12/2024 17:34

Hi OP I know this post is a few weeks old but wanted to offer a handhold. I'm 43 and have two frozen embryos. I had lost two natural pregnancies in 2022, both TFMRs that both got complicated and needed further procedures. I feel cheated as I wasn't given more time to decide on the first TFMR, it's a complicated story too painful to discuss but it left me with a lot of "what ifs" mainly would we have needed a second TFMR if we hadn't gone through with the first.
My periods are now a lot lighter and shorter and my fertility consultant is concerned about scarring from the procedures I had, so I need a hysteroscopy before a transfer now. Just feels such a mess and I too am angry with everyone and everything, despite being eternally grateful for our 10 year old IVF DD and knowing so many women would give anything to have what we have. It's hard and I feel you pain. Here's hoping for positive outcomes x

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