Things you wished you knew before your first ivf..

[worldwidetravel2017]

Please enlighten me
( our 1st ivf beckons )

The emotional/mental side of things (the waiting, outcomes etc.) was much harder for me than any of the physical stuff (scans, egg collection, transfer). Definitely worth putting in place things that can help mentally and not overload yourself with too many things. But have some nice plans in to look forward to. Try and take up any counselling appointments that are included with your treatment if you need to. I have found them helpful and 3 were included in the cost with each cycle.

For some people it works first time, for others it takes multiple times or may not work. Tests results like high AMH or low AMH doesn't necessarily correlate to outcome. Each cycle can look very different in terms of outcomes. If you can afford to financially and mentally, keep going. I'm so glad I didn't give up after my first cycle (total failed fertilisation) as we have now ended up with 6 embryos in the freezer with our second cycle.

There's only so much you can control e.g. healthy eating, reducing alcohol etc. As a lovely nurse said to me after our failed fertilisation and going into the second cycle "we need to leave things up to science now". The lack of control and uncertainty can be hard.

Sorry that was long and rambly! Really hoping it all goes as well as possible for you 😊

Don't stress. Just follow the instructions, and attend appointments.

Thank you all
I really appreciate it..
Please keep them coming

Hi @worldwidetravel2017 I start my injections for my first round next week. Watching this thread with interest. Good luck!!

I found it quite hard physically as I’ve historically been VERY needle phobic, but having a little routine around the injections made it easier for me. It took me 90 minutes to get the courage for my first injection 🤦🏼‍♀️ but once I figured it out I did ice, injection, immediate strong flavour like ginger tea or something to help ground me. And then a little treat as a prize 😂😂

Don’t bank that you'll get frozen embryos. I had this assumption that we would and I’ve found it hard having one transferred and the pressure of knowing it fails I have to start from scratch. We have always gotten a good amount of eggs collected (9 first round, 16 second) and many made it to day 5 but the quality of them was 4cc/3cc and my clinic will always discard them. I’ve been lucky to have three rounds free on the NHS so have one more round left.

Thank you
Same to you - sending all the luck

I wish I had done PGT-A testing from the start rather than having multiple miscarriages before starting testing. Felt like I lost a year and lots of money transferring embryos that were never going to work out.

There is a lot of waiting involved, both before, during and after a cycle. I was so keen to hurry things along but had to accept delays for various reasons. In hindsight this was actually for the best. Just remember that a few weeks or months won’t make a difference in the scheme of things.

As others have said, I wish I knew that the emotional side would be so much more taxing than the physical aspects. Be kind to yourself and take time out when you need to. Best of luck!

Try and mentally prepare for all scenarios especially the failed ones, it hurts alot at the start but it does get easier!

Thank you and sending you all the luck

That you'll probably need to do more than one cycle.
That the mental side is way harder than the physical side.
1 egg can make a baby.
Take time off work.
Don't bother having a life during the 2ww as you'll be too distracted by the wait.
Do not test early during the 2ww.
Again. DO NOT test early during the 2ww.
If you get a bfp the anxiety doesn't stop there.
You'll feel pleased you're finally getting to do something major to have your baby.

Interesting you say this. I'm actually trying to decide whether to PGTA or not. May I ask if you have any experience doing PGTA and how old you were when you did it?

I'm nearly 30 and kind of want to do it to avoid giving myself false hope of "I've got a few in the freezer" when none of them might be euploid as I want to bank a few blastocysts to make future babies too. Also to avoid wasting time and my emotions on a transfer of an aneuploid embryo that was never going to work out.

But also really want to hear people's experience and potential downsides

• being young doesn't mean it'll work first time
• physically it's not as hard as it seems
• mentally it's so much harder than it seems
• it costs much more than the initial cost after you factor in all the blood tests, meds etc

I was 38 when I did untested embryos and now that I’m 39 I’ve been testing and only about 20% are normal. At 30 you’d have much higher chances than that so I’m not sure if it’d be worth it at that age. I had a lot in the bank and was able to thaw those and have them tested and frozen again so even if you decide not to do it you can do it in the future. Since testing I’ve had 3 implantation failures and 1 chemical pregnancy so I guess I don’t have any success to back up testing just yet lol. But it’s made me realise how many I could be transferring that never would have worked.

Thank you

I really hope you get happy news soon

We concieved naturally when i was 36.5
But was early miscarriage

My amh is high due to pcos but im very aware egg quantity doesnt equal quality.

Ive had a lot of tests since miscarriage.

Had a private hyfosy ( tube flush ) recently and both tubes were blocked then

( they were not both blocked in the past )

I have a big gynae appt tomorrow

For me, I wish I knew how much the down regulation would affect me. I had episodes of hating my DH, suicidal thoughts, crying for no reason. I was told I might be a bit moody, but what I experienced was far worse.

Then I had severe OHSS after a fresh transfer, I was told it was unlikely for me, so just given a fact sheet. It was terrible, not being able to breathe and having to stay overnight in hospital.

Very glad we have 9 in the freezer, but I wouldn't want to do that again.

get some comfy clothes to wear after the procedures/week of injections (the bloating has been like nothing else)

i also found that the hormones broke my face out, so you could treat yourself to a nice face mask :)

the two week wait is brutal, so give yourself some nice and gentle things to look forward to in my first one now and it’s mentally exhausting.

check in with your partner and be prepared to lean on them a lot too. Don’t feel bad about this, you are doing the physical hard work! I’ve been so tired and it’s helped a lot when he picks up the slack

Also people swear by some foods and so on which feels a bit superstitious but watermelon really did help my bloating and the macdonalds fries on embryo transfer day did feel like nice self care! Good luck op!

There's a lot of unknown, appointments at short notice, trial and error with meds. Just be prepared to be on standby for appointments and trust the process.

Also the weight gain from the meds shocked me.

Plan some nice things in the 2 week window to take your mind off it and then for after to look forward too whatever the result.

Some people breeze through the egg collection, but I was in a lot of pain during the procedure and then after (from the procedure itself and then OHSS). I didn’t give myself enough (any) rest time so definitely prolonged my recovery. If I were to do it again I’d book the day of and two days after off work/general life responsibilities to just rest.

Advocate for yourself. Ask questions. Challenge decisions. My first FET with higher quality embryo failed and second FET worked. Of course it could be down to a chance and a wide range of factors but I insisted on a few protocol changes and I like to believe those changes helped!

Please could I ask what changes were made for the successful FET? Obviously I know each person is different. I've had a failed fresh transfer but hopefully will have a FET in a month or two. Not sure if there's much more I can do to prepare than I'm doing already really. Any tips? 😊

If at first you don't succeed, understand that -

1. It is an evolving, subjective science
2. Every cycle is different but the rules are the same (re. diet, lifestyle etc.)
3. Be prepared for (multiple) failures
4. Really limit sugar and caffeine
5. Drink 2-3L of water per day, 2L is the minimum
6. The benefits/risks of PGT-A are inconclusive and there is no right or wrong approach
7. The sperm takes over from day 3 so the sperm needs to be healthy too
8. Discuss with partner and agree when to stop trying if unsuccessful
9. Try not to test until at least 6-7dpt (I found this helpful When to test)
10. Seek treatment abroad (I found the experience much more pleasant and clinicians more competent)
11. Be prepared for miscarriages (even with PGT-A embryos)
12. If you suffer a late miscarriage, do not be afraid to ask for a D&C - it is better than waiting it out, especially if you are wanting to do an FET soon after

I've had 6 collections, 4 transfers, no success. 4 more in the freezer so I remain hopeful until I have none left.

Best of luck in your journey!

Thanks so much
Same to u

Think about who you tell, especially around dates.
The more people you tell the more you have to tell if it fails.
Stop when you want to.

This is a huge one I agree. The balance between having enough support but not having too manage too many other people's expectations/disappointment/excitement. I've definitely felt inclined to tell fewer people the details of what's going on as we have been going through it for longer.