Doing all the 'things' vs go with the flow

[pumpkinspicewaffles]

After many many years of male factor infertility, I was fortunate enough to have a successful FET after my first round of IVF (freeze all) in 2020. Obviously with covid I was mostly at home and had lots of time to carefully plan my diet, do a daily fertility yoga video and practice relaxation, etc etc etc. I remember I even had a checklist up in the kitchen to make sure I was drinking enough, with my two cups of caffeine allowed per day!! IVF was a horrible experience but I did feel I was able to take some ownership of the experience.

I'm about to start a sibling FET round, and I feel a bit guilty that I haven't really done anything to get ready other than take folic acid and vitamin D. I've put on weight since I had my child and I'm not really exercising beyond running around after a 3 year old, and my diet is fine but definitely not focused around all the pomegranates/yams/berries/oily fish that instagram told me to eat the first time around.

My question is do we think all the extra 'things' actually make that much of a difference, or is it more about trying everything you can and feeling in control of something? I'm now worried that I'm wasting this shot by not being more prepared.

And if they do make a difference, what important things can I get going with in the next week before my period starts and I start my medication? 😅

@pumpkinspicewaffles hello, unfortunately I have no words of wisdom. I just wanted to say that I could have written your post myself. I have started FET but have less time and energy to do much of what I was doing during previous rounds, now with a 3yo. I am just trying to be as healthy and relaxed as I can be and stay positive in the hope that this round is successful.
Good luck hun x

Honestly, just going with the flow is what has worked for me. First child took 7 attempts (4 IUIs, 3 embryo transfers). It worked when we did the transfer just before Christmas and I went with the flow. Due our second child in a few weeks, conceived on first embryo transfer - massively went with the flow because you just have to when you have a toddler I think! I'm older, fatter and way less fit. But it would have felt unmanageable to have been a control think. I also think that it actually really doesn't matter for embryo transfers (and maybe does matter more for egg collections). Wishing you best of luck!

Another vote for go with the flow. I did literally nothing other than taking folic acid for both egg collection/fresh transfer and FET and both worked first time. Didn't change my diet, didn't cut out alcohol until I got the positive pregnancy tests, kept up normal exercise routine (which was obviously less by the time FET came around given I had a toddler and I was fatter and more tired)! Some people are strong believers in doing everything you can to help but in my opinion there is realistically very little within our control that will actually change the outcome one way or another.

Thanks all, that’s really encouraging! I guess it’s a useful reminder to do things because they make me feel better and not because it makes the treatment work better as such. Other than folic acid I guess but I’m on that at least! Starting medication this week so praying this embryo works as well as the last one 🙏🏻

It depends what you mean by 'things'.

Does eating pomegranates make a difference? No.

But eating a generally healthy diet, exercising, making sure you're looking after yourself physically and mentally? Yes - of course that does make a difference.