My partner (37M) and I (35F) have been together for three years. Early in our relationship, he was diagnosed with HSV2. Although I've shown no symptoms, it's difficult to get tested for the virus without an outbreak here in the UK. His infection is quite severe, with nearly monthly outbreaks, which has significantly affected our sex life.
Last year, we decided to start trying for a baby, but it’s been incredibly challenging. It’s almost impossible to have sex during my ovulation because of his frequent outbreaks. In April this year, he had a sperm analysis that revealed low motility and issues with morphology. This, combined with the herpes, has made things really tough for us.
We’ve always shared the desire to have children, and our values and family goals align perfectly. However, recently, he’s expressed that he constantly feels like he’s letting me down and holding me back. He’s said that he loves me deeply but feels like he might need to end the relationship so that I still have the chance to meet someone else and have kids. The thought of taking that opportunity away from me is unbearable for him.
I've told him that he’s who I want, but he’s such an honorable and stoic person. He’s struggling to manage his feelings of guilt, and it’s all he thinks about every day. I'm terrified of both not having children and losing him. I don't know how to support him so that he feels he can stay in the relationship without feeling so guilty and anxious.