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Infertility

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AIBU

6 replies

MyNavyFish · 17/07/2024 00:36

My partner and I have been TTC for 4 months. I have PCOS and have not had a period in months and am waiting to have some fertility tests carried out. Twice today I suddenly felt queasy so decided to do two dip strip tests. I did the tests and left them on the cystern. I looked at them after a minute and as expected they were negative but one had some evaporation lines so I left a bit longet and went to go do something else. I completely forgot about them and later when I went into the bathroom both had two positive lines albeit a bit wonky. I said to my partner how strange they were and he was looking at me oddly. He then burst out laughing and said he had drawn the lines on. I was so shocked and suddenly really, really upset. I had to explain to him that he should never tamper with pregnancy tests. I am so upset. I didn't think they were positive but more hurt that he would play such an awful and stupid joke. He said he thought it was obvious it was a joke but I don't think he realises how upsetting I'm finding things. AIBU?

OP posts:
Kp1345 · 17/07/2024 10:11

You are not being unreasonable at all. I’d be very upset. It obviously was a joke that went wrong but like you said, it’s just not a funny thing to joke about! Has he apologised now?

2mumlife · 17/07/2024 10:30

You're not unreasonable - I don't think this was 'funny'. Just seems like an immature way of dealing with a sensitive issue. I'd want my partner to apologise after that.

waitingforourmiracle · 17/07/2024 11:19

Not being unreasonable at all. I think that is bizarre behaviour and really quire cruel! Don't see anything funny about that at all. I hope you've told him and had an apology!

MyNavyFish · 17/07/2024 15:28

Thanks everyone for your responses. It means a lot as I don't feel I can say to my family and friends as they would be furious. None of them have had fertility issues either so I wasn't sure if I was overly sensitive as I ended up sobbing. He did apologise and said that he often deals with things by trying to inject humour which infuriatingly he does, but I think I was just so upset that he didn't realise that tampering with a pregnancy test is never funny. I also don't think he perhaps has grasped how upset I am with my fertility issues. He did said that its not fine problems, its ours as we are in it together but I still get over what a stupid thing he did. We have been together 10 years and he has never done something so stupid.

OP posts:
2mumlife · 17/07/2024 16:02

I think if he has apologised and he does use humour as a defence mechanism, this might be an incident that actually helps to open up a conversation about how challenging your fertility journey is for each of you.

MyNavyFish · 17/07/2024 17:24

I think you are right @2mumlife I don't think for second he realised how upsetting I would find it. As we are fairly early on in our TTC journey he hasn't grasped how worried I am about it all, but maybe I haven't fully opened up about how I feel. What an absolute muppet though! Thank you everyone 💓 Venting has most definitely helped xx

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