Secondary infertility

[Mary182]

Hi all,
I have a 2.5 yr old who I conceived naturally first time.
after having him i was told i have pcos and thats the reason i am not ovulating anymore and struggling to conceive baby 2.
I did my first round of clomid which was successful in making me ovulate but I did not fall pregnant.
anyone have any advice, I am so grateful for my little boy but I also wish for him to have a sibling.
how do you overcome this feeling whilst also juggling secondary infertility.

Hi OP,
Sorry to hear you are going through secondary infertility. It’s such a hard thing to go through.
I’m afraid my situation isn’t similar but we are also going through secondary infertility. When we found out, my DD was around 3, and we discovered DP’s sperm had many issues. We’ve had 3 IVF cycles so far with no results.

You really do have my sympathy and understanding. I’m not sure you can do anything other than put one foot in front of the other and keep hoping. That’s what I do!

Thank you for your kind words!
i hope it works out for you too, wishing you all the best!!

How many rounds of clomid are you able to have? From what I've read it takes a few rounds to get you pregnant.

We're in a similar but not same situation. DD was conceived after 6 cycles. Then I fell pregnant accidentally but it was ectopic and my tube ruptured. Since then absolutely nothing. It's been 13 cycles other than a cyst there's nothing wrong. We're looking to start IVF in the autumn. I'm finding it really hard being around pregnant mums or those toddlers who have baby brother and sisters. During those 6 cycles with DD I really didn't find it as hard as my life was quite separate from those with kids, now it's just everywhere.

Secondary infertility is painful! I can't offer advice only just don't give up! I have a 5 year old dd conceived so easily were currently ttc for a second for 3 years had 2 failed ivf cycles going to try a 3rd in Greece in a few months! It looks like a egg quality for us and I'm only 31

Hey, not much advice here, but solidarity. I have a 4 year old (conceived first month of TTC) and have been trying for our second for two years. I'm early 40s and have low egg count for my age. We start our first cycle of IVF next week.

What I find most difficult is that other people don't seem to realise that secondary infertility is a thing. I have friends who assume we don't want any more because we haven't had one in the 'usual' 2/3 year window, and I can't bring myself to talk about the challenges we're having.

I also worry about the age gap. Even if our first round of IVF works (very unlikely) there will be a 5.5 year age gap with current DC.

It's hard to manage the conflict of being grateful for the child you have, but sad/frustrated that having another is so hard for us but comes so easily to most other people.

I think with the age gap there is nothing you can do just accept it, it will actually make it easier I think, I have a 5 year old DD and been ttc 3 years now going onto my 3rd ivf soon and I think when she does become a big sister she will love to help out and understands things a bit better!
Good luck on your ivf! I also have a low egg count for my age I'd advise ICSI xx

It is a tough journey as people assume because you have a child already, your feelings are not valid even though they are!

Can you try clomid again at all?

If it helps, i have a neary 5 year old and we had secondary infertility for 3.5 years. We had all the testing and we were just unlucky to have "unexplained secondary infertility". On paper we were perfect so there was no reason why pregnancy couldn't happen. I had a hycosy and a laparoscopy to check for everything. By some miracle when we barely tried due to a death, we fell pregnancy naturally after 3.5 years. I did change my tablets as the consultant recommended so not sure if that helped. I was COQ10x3 a day, vitamin D and folic acid.

I wish you lots of luck and to keep pushing for answers and help.

Secondary infertility too and just had an unsuccessful IVF cycle :(

I'm 29, my DH is mid 30s. We've got a DC who is 2 and was conceived first month of trying. TTC for just over a year and just had our first IVF privately.
Results: 13 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 1x day 5 embryo, 2x day 6 embryos. None euploid.

Those sound like awful results for my age?! AMH is 13 so not terrible, AFC 20. A million investigations have been done on myself and DH (hormone profile, hycosy, follicle counts, scans, semel analysis... to name a few), no issues found at all. Our diet is pretty strict, absolutely no drinking for both, no red meat for both, no added sugar for me... taking supplements - ubiquinol, pregnacare max before conception, omega 3 etc for me and Impryl, omega 3 ans others (can't remember all) for my husband.

Wondering if I can join - been TTC no. 2 for 3 years now, had a miscarriage in 2022 and absolutely no hint of pregnancy since then. Decided to finally get ourselves tested and received the results today - husband's sperm count is almost 0 and of the few that exist they show poor motility and morphology issues as well. Consultant has advised for us to start ICSI but wants us to go for genetic and hormonal tests which is going to delay things whilst we wait for results.

I'm gutted but don't feel we have any right to be when we've been fortunate enough to have a child already, me and husband are both 38 so time isn't on our side unfortunately. Sending supportive virtual hugs to everyone on here as it truly is a crap and lonely place to be 😫

@Stillwinston im the same as you. Been trying for 3 years. I’ve had one mmc in the last 3 years apart from that no hint of an bfp .i have a child that was conceived very easily who is 4. Im 37 but will be 38 soon. It really is tough, I know we are so lucky to have our dc. It’s hard though, some of my friends are on their 3rd successful pregnancy or have 3 children now. I don’t have any explanation for my infertility so far. My husband has normal sperm so i assume i am the problem. Sorry to hear about your husbands sperm. But regardless of what the issue is it’s hard. A friend of my husband had a sperm count of almost zero. His brother was the same so it must be genetic and they both had success with their partners with icsi

@Missmarymack2 thanks so much for replying, we seem to be pretty much exactly the same except for the sperm issue so it's nice to be able to talk to someone who understands what it's like. Our friends just told us yesterday that they're pregnant with their 2nd and it's twins, I felt so awful for feeling sad and jealous rather than happy for them ☹️

Have you been for any tests yet?

@Stillwinston i have had some tests. My amh is above average for my age. I had an sis test (similar to hsg ) Got pregnant after that and had a mmc . Nothing since. I had an ivf cycle which yielded 2 euploid embryos from about 20 eggs a few months ago but haven’t transferred anything yet. It took a long time to get the courage and the finances to do the ivf. I am nervous about transferring the embryos. If nothing else I feel the ivf cycle may give me some closure if it doesn’t work out. I know exactly the feeling you describe about friends being pregnant. It’s hard not to feel sad and jealous.

@Stillwinston did you have any tests?

Hi ladies, please can I join?
I'm 37 and have a 3.5 year old who took 3 long years to conceive. I have no idea if it was the reason, but I finally fell pregnant during lockdown when my stress levels were significantly reduced. Often wonder if that was the reason.
Think we're coming up to 1.5 years of TTC now and it feels like all I see is pregnancy announcements all the time. 😢
We have known MFI issues, though have seen a little improvement with lifestyle changes. I had some bloods including FSH done a few weeks ago and the number was 24. I'm praying this was a one-off crazy spike and that I'm not perimenopausal or something.
Ive got a pelvic ultrasound booked in a few weeks and then will be going to a fertility clinic for an initial consultation to find out what options we have.
Sending hugs to everyone. This is such a tough situation to be in but it does help to feel less alone. X

Hello, I feel your pain on this. I have a DD who is about to turn 4 in October and we have been trying for a sibling for almost three years, not even whisps of bfps.
We've had one unsuccessful round of IVF and just had another I'm in the tww for, but if that's unsuccessful I'd have to do yet another retrieval.

It took us a year to conceive our first so I was not entirely surprised when it started taking long for our second, but I had hoped maybe the first time around it was just down to bad luck. So I have the experience of primary and secondary infertility both: and honestly, the secondary sucks but the primary was so much worse, I cannot be afraid of never being a mother anymore and that was so hard.

We have not discovered a clear reason. I'm 32 and husbands sperm is ok and we do get decent mature eggs to fertilised ratios and even not-horrible fert to embryo ratios, but I don't make too many eggs and I seem to have a high number of immature eggs each retrieval so far.

One plausible reason I have is luteal phase defect, because mine is only 10 days, despite good lining and normal progesterone levels when I've been tested (and we did try progesterone supported cycles two years ago and it did nothing). When we had DD I got a bfp 8dpo, even evening of 7dpo, so I'm thinking I need to have a fast developing embryo that implants fast to even have a chance because I already start spotting on 9dpo and the slow to get there ones simply won't have anything left to stick to.

It's kind of bittersweet that my kids will at best be 4.5 years apart. How much will they really play together when they grow? But also, I honestly am not sure anymore I'd be cut out for 2 close in age when they're toddlers, seeing some of my friends and acquaintances struggle with that while I've had some room to breathe and do me things for a few years. I also have a trio of sibling relatives with 8 years between each and even though they didn't play together as kids, they've always been close and now as adults, thick as thieves.

@BakinABaby i know what you mean about the age gap. Sometimes I think a bigger age gap is nice and I agree 2 close together looks like really hard work. Good luck with the tww