How long to keep embryos for?

[musttryharder84]

We underwent fertility treatment several years ago. We have 2 children and have 4 embryos in storage.
We do not want anymore children, but I cannot let go of the frozen embryos. I cannot say for certain that if (God forbid) something were to happen to my children I wouldn't want to try for another.
I have just got the bill for another year of storage at £400 and with costs increasing for everything, not having to pay this would be nice but I also know these embryos would be our only hope if we were ever to change our minds.
How long have other people kept them in storage for? How do you know when it's time to stop with the storage?
Even when we do decide there's no point in keeping them, I have no idea what we will do with them so I am partly keeping them to avoid making that difficult decision.

It’s so difficult to know what the right answer is. What I would say is, even though it’s expensive, if you have the money, then while you feel like this, I think you should store for another year and then you haven’t got to make a decision right now.

Different circumstances but I had frozen embryos with my ex partner after having a successful round of IVF. When he unexpectedly left and then later refused to sign paperwork to keep the embryos, I was absolutely heartbroken and it was one of the hardest things I’ve been through. It was horrible to not have the choice. While you’re not sure what to do, and the cost isn’t crazy amounts of money, I think if it was me I would keep storing for now.

@musttryharder84 If you're feeling unsure what you'd like to happen to the embryos if you decided not to renew the storage, its maybe a good idea to sign up for another year (or 6 months if you're able to) and actively timetable in time to discuss with your partner how you're both feeling and whether you are ready to stop storing, and what you would want to happen. It gives you some time and space to work through your emotions, explore options and see a counsellor if you think that would be useful.

We're not totally at that point yet, but I'm pregnant with second child and we have 1 remaining embryo in storage at our UK clinic, and 3 straws of donor sperm in storage at the European Sperm Bank. We've paid for storage for both, as an insurance policy I guess. But we feel fairly certain this will be our family complete. We've start talking about how and when we'll deal with both. I feel more at ease returning the sperm to ESB (we can get some of the money back, and the sperm can be made available to other families who used the same donor and want to expand their families) than I do about the prospect of having to make a decision about our last embryo. At the moment though, we're still giving ourselves time.

I think its really tough making that decision, so wishing you all the best as you work through this part of your fertility journey

I understand this is hard. We had 5yrs storage included in the price of our ivf and it’s about to come to an end. We recently had a letter from them asking what we’d like to do. We were successful in our first round and have 3 embryos frozen but we always decided we were one and done and wouldn’t use them. Then we had a surprise natural pregnancy so we are 100% done but I can’t bring myself to ask them to destroy them. DH is less emotional about it but understanding.

I would suggest paying for another year but make sure you actively discuss it throughout the year and don’t shelve the discussion until it’s running out again.

Thanks for your replies. IVF is such a journey and you think once you have your much awaited babies that's it. But there's still some pretty hard decisions to make after that.
I'm so sorry that choice was taken away from you @Always28 😞
I think keeping them for another year is the best and luckily we can afford it.
We have had them in storage for 8 years now though, and we have the same discussion every year and just never get any further in making a decision. It's always the same - we know we don't want to use them but can't say we wouldn't if things massively changed. And while I wouldn't want to donate our embryos to an anonymous couple, I just keep thinking how awful I'd feel if a family member suffered from infertility at some point and we'd destroyed good quality embryos they could use. That scenario is so unlikely I feel like we're being stupid even considering it, but then you read about cases where this has happened and I bet those people were really happy they kept their embryos all that time!