No longer enjoying sex

[Englishrose35]

Hi all

We are hoping to start IVF ICSI this September. Recently I've been really struggling with sex and have found sex has become stressful when TTC. I worry that my mood is low and that is impacting on my sex drive and I just don't feel like doing it.

I used to get quite aroused but now having to use lube and just don't really enjoy it anymore. I think a lot of it is the pressure of TTC, knowing there are issues and it just feels I don't enjoy it as much.

I think DH also feels the pressure as well but enjoys it more than me. I just feel I can't be bothered and feel abit hopeless.

Anyone else felt like this?
I thought about seeing the counsellor at the clinic as we do get NHS sessions included. But my husband doesn't want to and thinks I'm just worrying over nothing.

Thanks

You’re not alone OP. Both my partner and I don’t enjoy having timed sex at all. I know my friend who has been through fertility struggles also felt the same. It zaps everything from you!

@amkw
Thank you. I'm finding it really hard - part of me just wants to "take a break" and just forget about TTC for a bit to be honest. But I feel like we need to try as I really don't want to go through IVF (we are booked in for September) but I feel it is inevitable.

Ditto. Reached its peak after a couple of months of failed DTD attempts - and me sobbing because a) we’d missed a chance and b) we’d made sex awkward and felt disconnected.

If we weren’t already at IVF stage I’m not sure we’d have been able to continue trying so methodically for this exact reason. It was totally ruining it for us. Got to the point where I had to give myself a real talking to - and I decided to stop timing/forcing it so much as at the end of the day the quality of my relationship with DH is more important than knowing we’ve given 100% to trying each month.

I have seen a lot of advice from others on here saying “don’t bother timing it - just DTD every two days!” 🤣