Work and IVF? | Mumsnet

MrsBP15 · 2024-06-17T08:14:54+00:00

Hi everyone i I am just starting my IVF jooooournaaaaay (as they say on BFN podcast) and wondered if anyone had any tips on navigating work and ivf? I work a “9-5” job in an Independent School though I am not on the teaching side of things (thank God to be honest) and as such don’t get teacher holidays (boo hiss) and I don’t generally wfh though it is possible. I genuinely know nothing about this side of things so please hit me with your best. Does it depend on the clinic? Should I be booking time off? Does it have to be holiday or should I be looking to get signed off? Is it helpful to tell managers/HR or is that a bad idea? I know a lot of this will depend on individual circs but I have no idea where to start (story of my effing life) for context I will proceeding privately and will probably be doing IVF in about 6 weeks time. Thank you for reading the ramblings of a woman who is clearly procrastinating getting started on work on a Monday morning. The irony of that is not lost on me…

ItchyScratchyPoochie · 17/06/2024 12:05

Hi MrsBP15,

I understand what you are feeling. For our first attempt, I just dived in and didn't share anything with my boss.
In hindsight, I think I could have just shared that I am undergoing a medical treatment and probably could have gotten a bit more support to recover from MMC.

For egg collection, you are hopped on hormones and near the collection date I found walking and standing difficult. You go under for egg collection so would be best to plan couple of days off around that.
For transfer, I went for transfer in lunch time and I was back at work after transfer.

Please do note before egg collection and transfer, you have to go for regular scans so please make sure you can get time for that. If taking couple of hours here and there is difficult, I would suggest sharing something with your boss, like you are undergoing a a treatment or something.
If you have really.good relationship with your boss and you know they won't treat you unfairly, then I think you can share.

Our further attempts were abroad so I had to plan days off every time.

Hope this helps and all the best xx

Original poster

MrsBP15 · 17/06/2024 13:19

Thank you @ItchyScratchyPoochie i really appreciate you getting back to me. I spoke to someone a couple of weeks ago and they said they got signed off for tww following transfer. Does that sound right? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’d be pretty up for that but I’m not sure it’s possible. They are a teacher so poss a bit more walking/standing then a desk job I guess?

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IWouldRatherBeOnHoliday · 17/06/2024 14:17

Hi,

It's a really tough one making these decisions about whether to share.

Luckily for me, I work in the civil service and my dept gives paid leave for fertility related appointments. I've been very open with my manager (who actually had IVF herself so is incredibly understanding) but I also know it's not going to impact my job security/promotion prospects, which I appreciate is a concern for some.

I would say working from home when you start stims injections is a good idea. You can get very bloated towards the end and sitting or standing can be uncomfortable, some people can get upset stomachs or excess gas, and I think generally your emotions are a bit all over the place. You'll have lots of scans and you won't be able to plan your egg collection date perfectly as it could change depending on scan outcomes, you may only have 48 hours notice.

You will need the day of egg collection off work because of sedation, and I'd plan to be off sick the following day too as you'll be sore and bloated and maybe still suffering from sedation after effects. The bloating can take a while to go down (my first round I couldn't sit up comfortably for 4 days afterwards due to the swelling so I didn't work those days). I'd also bear in mind that the updates from the embryology team in the 5 days post egg collection can be upsetting if not what you want to hear, so again working from home can help give you the space to process this.

I took the day after transfer as holiday to chill out as I was upset we only had one embryo to transfer, but then carried on working after during the 2ww. If you're in an office job I really think you'd be okay working unless you feel unwell, you want the time to pass quickly! If you do need sick leave after transfer, telling your employer will help as they have to record it as pregnancy-related (same as for the 2 week period after a negative test - same as with a miscarriage) so it can't be held against you if you have attendance monitoring processes.

I hope all goes well and I hope if you do tell work that they are supportive.

HopefulllHolly · 17/06/2024 14:48

Hey! Good luck with your first round! For me I told work because it was just easier to not to have to make excuses, and it’s ended up working well as everyone checks in and know I’m going through a lot. I only took off a couple of days for egg collection but there are a fair amount of appointments sometimes last minute so work need to be flexible (or you need to be a good liar!! 😅😅)

2mumlife · 17/06/2024 15:00

@MrsBP15 I work from home so things were a lot easier. I'd start by looking a whether your company has a policy around infertility / assisted conception (most don't) but also look at any pregnancy policies - as soon as an embryo is transferred and until your official testing day (OTD,) you are, legally, "pregnant" and entitled to any of your companies pregnancy-related leave. Equally, if you test negative at OTD, legally, that's a "miscarriage" even if there is no evidence embryo ever implanted, and you are entitled to any of your companies miscarriage-related leave as well.

You will need time off for several appointments in the run up to egg collection. Depending how far away you work from your clinic, it may be possible to take the morning off and return to work (I used to schedule my scans for e.g. 8am and then go to work). Scans are really really short, like 10 mins, so you don't need to take the whole day off. You will need the whole day off for egg collection as you'll be sedated, and I'd probably take the next day off too in case you're still feeling a bit sore. Transfer days as well you might want to take the day off just to take the stress off and do something nice after the transfer.

You do not need to be signed off work between embryo transfer and OTD - complete overkill! Normal advice is to just get on with your life as normal. Much better to stay busy as possible.

I'd recommend saying something to your line manager that you will have several upcoming medical appointments that cannot be re-arranged and may require you to take time off work at short notice (you wont be able to plan when your egg collection is until a few days before). Up to you if you want to say its for fertility treatment or not

Good luck!

ItchyScratchyPoochie · 17/06/2024 20:26

MrsBP15 · 17/06/2024 13:19

Thank you @ItchyScratchyPoochie i really appreciate you getting back to me. I spoke to someone a couple of weeks ago and they said they got signed off for tww following transfer. Does that sound right? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’d be pretty up for that but I’m not sure it’s possible. They are a teacher so poss a bit more walking/standing then a desk job I guess?

I was extremely anxious after transfer, tww at home would have driven me crazy. I kept working as it kept me busy with little time to think.
Also working allowed me to walk regularly, which helps in blood circulation and embryo plantation.

As PP have said, some people do take off for tww. Unless medically required, don't think you need bed rest for tww.

I will say this, after tww, you may need more scans/ tests, so make sure you are able to get time off for those as well.

Anonneom · 18/06/2024 12:46

I’m just stating my ivf journey. Had all my tests, hycosy and ultrasound etc and just got my ivf referral today.
I spoke to my boss about it a few weeks ago and turns out my workplace actually has an ivf policy. All appointments and procedures are given as paid time off without affecting sickness records and in the case of a failed transfer we are given bereavement leave. I strongly believe all companies should be this accommodating and would discuss this with your line manager or HR department. If you were to get pregnant naturally all your appointments would be covered. This should be treated the same.

Original poster

MrsBP15 · 18/06/2024 22:11

IWouldRatherBeOnHoliday · 17/06/2024 14:17

Hi,

It's a really tough one making these decisions about whether to share.

Luckily for me, I work in the civil service and my dept gives paid leave for fertility related appointments. I've been very open with my manager (who actually had IVF herself so is incredibly understanding) but I also know it's not going to impact my job security/promotion prospects, which I appreciate is a concern for some.

I would say working from home when you start stims injections is a good idea. You can get very bloated towards the end and sitting or standing can be uncomfortable, some people can get upset stomachs or excess gas, and I think generally your emotions are a bit all over the place. You'll have lots of scans and you won't be able to plan your egg collection date perfectly as it could change depending on scan outcomes, you may only have 48 hours notice.

You will need the day of egg collection off work because of sedation, and I'd plan to be off sick the following day too as you'll be sore and bloated and maybe still suffering from sedation after effects. The bloating can take a while to go down (my first round I couldn't sit up comfortably for 4 days afterwards due to the swelling so I didn't work those days). I'd also bear in mind that the updates from the embryology team in the 5 days post egg collection can be upsetting if not what you want to hear, so again working from home can help give you the space to process this.

I took the day after transfer as holiday to chill out as I was upset we only had one embryo to transfer, but then carried on working after during the 2ww. If you're in an office job I really think you'd be okay working unless you feel unwell, you want the time to pass quickly! If you do need sick leave after transfer, telling your employer will help as they have to record it as pregnancy-related (same as for the 2 week period after a negative test - same as with a miscarriage) so it can't be held against you if you have attendance monitoring processes.

I hope all goes well and I hope if you do tell work that they are supportive.

Thank you so much @IWouldRatherBeOnHoliday for such a detailed reply. I think some working from home sounds like a good option and I can certainly do my job from home. Someone broke their leg at Easter and has been working online since so I think with this being a medical thing that should be fine! I’ve definitely heard of people not going into work following testing especially if it is negative, I don’t know for sure but I don’t think I’d handle that very well. And if it’s positive I can just be happy at home 🥳

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsBP15 · 18/06/2024 22:14

HopefulllHolly · 17/06/2024 14:48

Hey! Good luck with your first round! For me I told work because it was just easier to not to have to make excuses, and it’s ended up working well as everyone checks in and know I’m going through a lot. I only took off a couple of days for egg collection but there are a fair amount of appointments sometimes last minute so work need to be flexible (or you need to be a good liar!! 😅😅)

Hey @HopefulllHolly i think I’m leaning towards telling work just for ease, one less thing to worry about! I also feel it’s important to talk about these things and remove any shame. We’ll see I may change my mind and I’ve got a bit of time to figure it out. There’s just a lot to think about which I didn’t realise going in!

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsBP15 · 18/06/2024 22:18

2mumlife · 17/06/2024 15:00

@MrsBP15 I work from home so things were a lot easier. I'd start by looking a whether your company has a policy around infertility / assisted conception (most don't) but also look at any pregnancy policies - as soon as an embryo is transferred and until your official testing day (OTD,) you are, legally, "pregnant" and entitled to any of your companies pregnancy-related leave. Equally, if you test negative at OTD, legally, that's a "miscarriage" even if there is no evidence embryo ever implanted, and you are entitled to any of your companies miscarriage-related leave as well.

You will need time off for several appointments in the run up to egg collection. Depending how far away you work from your clinic, it may be possible to take the morning off and return to work (I used to schedule my scans for e.g. 8am and then go to work). Scans are really really short, like 10 mins, so you don't need to take the whole day off. You will need the whole day off for egg collection as you'll be sedated, and I'd probably take the next day off too in case you're still feeling a bit sore. Transfer days as well you might want to take the day off just to take the stress off and do something nice after the transfer.

You do not need to be signed off work between embryo transfer and OTD - complete overkill! Normal advice is to just get on with your life as normal. Much better to stay busy as possible.

I'd recommend saying something to your line manager that you will have several upcoming medical appointments that cannot be re-arranged and may require you to take time off work at short notice (you wont be able to plan when your egg collection is until a few days before). Up to you if you want to say its for fertility treatment or not

Good luck!

Thank you @2mumlife thats really helpful. I’ve checked and there is no infertility/assisted conception policy. I’m thinking this may be a good opportunity for them to look at this and may actually kickstart something. I can’t believe I’m the only person to have gone through this and doubt I’ll be the last so if it means it helps others, I think it’s worth doing. Plus it might end up benefitting me! That’s great advice re transfer days. We’ll be travelling for them anyway so could certainly look to tie in something nice to do on the way home x

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Original poster

MrsBP15 · 18/06/2024 22:21

ItchyScratchyPoochie · 17/06/2024 20:26

I was extremely anxious after transfer, tww at home would have driven me crazy. I kept working as it kept me busy with little time to think.
Also working allowed me to walk regularly, which helps in blood circulation and embryo plantation.

As PP have said, some people do take off for tww. Unless medically required, don't think you need bed rest for tww.

I will say this, after tww, you may need more scans/ tests, so make sure you are able to get time off for those as well.

Show quote history

Thanks @ItchyScratchyPoochie it did seem like a lot, I wonder if there might have been something else going on there. I think one thing I’d be slightly worried about is that if people did know (as it seems easier to just tell work) would that add to a bit of the stress of tww? I’m sure they wouldn’t ask but would they be tip toeing round me somewhat? Probs overthinking that…

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsBP15 · 18/06/2024 22:25

Anonneom · 18/06/2024 12:46

I’m just stating my ivf journey. Had all my tests, hycosy and ultrasound etc and just got my ivf referral today.
I spoke to my boss about it a few weeks ago and turns out my workplace actually has an ivf policy. All appointments and procedures are given as paid time off without affecting sickness records and in the case of a failed transfer we are given bereavement leave. I strongly believe all companies should be this accommodating and would discuss this with your line manager or HR department. If you were to get pregnant naturally all your appointments would be covered. This should be treated the same.

Thank you @Anonneom this is really making me lean towards telling them and basically getting them to sort out a policy. I sit in a senior management position so I can see how this is super important not just me but for people down the line and my work should have it in place for HR purposes and to cover themselves as well. I think the bereavement leave is super important too. There is no way I could go back to work straight away after a failed transfer!

OP posts:

CakePigeon30 · 18/06/2024 23:04

@MrsBP15 hiya, I work in a school and have told my headteacher - she's been really supportive with appointments and things. I'm not planning on taking the TWW off but was going to try to take it easy at work. My OTD will be in the six weeks.

2mumlife · 19/06/2024 10:30

@MrsBP15 You definitely wont be the only person in your workplace doing fertility treatment. My workload also doesn't have an IVF policy, but there is a small group of women I know who have are or planning to go through IVF, and I know one of them is working with HR on a policy :)