Thinking of trying again.. but terrified

[Scoobywho24]

I experienced awful mental health issues over our infertility journey. I have one child and have spent most of their life stressing about never giving them a sibling so we decided to leave it and heal. We’ve been through 2 ivf transfers. First didn’t take and second I lost at 12 weeks and had a very traumatic miscarriage that I was hospitalised for. I have spent the past 2 years trying to get over it because it completely broke me.
Now that I feel ok I would like to try again as we have 4 frozen embryos. I’m so so scared of getting back in that headspace again as I’ve come so far in healing, but I do deep down want another child. For some people it would be a no brainer and just leave it as it really affected me badly, but I can’t give up.
just seeing if anyone has experienced similar and has words of advice.
I’m just super worried about having another miscarriage and go through all that pain again

Hey! I’m so sorry you have had to go through all that. Sounds terrible and I am glad you are now in a place of healing. It does take time.
Briefly, my situation is I have one child (16 months) from IVF. Prior to her birth I had 3 failed transfers and one miscarriage. Her birth was also pretty traumatic and she was hospitalised shortly after birth which again was very difficult for us.
I’ve just yesterday had our 2 last frozen embryos implanted.
I wasn’t sure if we were ready at first and the last 2-3 years have been so hard. But I know my little girl was worth it all and if we are lucky enough to have a positive outcome from this cycle I know they will be worth it to.
Only you (and your partner if it’s applicable) will know what to do and what is right for your family. Your one child will be absolutely fine as an only child. You can give them a fantastic and loving life. So if it doesn’t feel right do not put pressure on yourself.
I knew I just wanted to give these last two a shot and if it doesn’t work we will heal and move on knowing we tried.
Good luck with whatever you choose x

P.s. I will also say that this time does feel different somehow. Less pressured, less stressful. I knew what to expect with the medication and things just haven’t felt as stressy. I also have my DD to think about everyday and she keeps me so busy that I’m not constantly checking every symptoms (it’s early days though!).

@Scoobywho24

There is no right or wrong answer, your mental health could deteriorate if you leave it too late and regret not trying. As long as your healthy now Ns feel up to it. Go for it BUT set boundaries before you start so how many times you'll try again etc- you don't want to miss out on too much of your little ones childhood trying and trying and not enjoying it.

I think the longing will always be there whilst you have frosties.

Good luck x