Hey @over30sclub welcome to the IVF journey. Hope I can give you some positivity :)
My partner and I were preparing for private fertility treatment (same sex couple, no fertility issues, just needed a sperm donor) and had gone through all the initial tests etc when lockdown started in 2020 when I was 30. The clinic was closed for several months before reopening. I was 31 by the time we began trying medicated IUI. We did 4 rounds with no success late 2020. We then decided to move on to IVF. I did my first cycle early 2021. I responded really unexpectedly poorly to the medication, and we only got 2 eggs from that cycle (despite normal AMH, young, healthy BMI etc etc). We were lucky that those 2 eggs beat the odds and made 2 high-grade day 5 blasts. I had a fresh transfer that ended in a BFN and was pretty horrible (I started bleeding heavily from about 5dp5dt and so feel that embryo never had a chance). We then did a medicated FET with the remaining embryo later that year, which resulted in a chemical pregnancy. After some consultations about why I responded to poorly during the first cycle (to which we still never really have had that firm an answer, just that I responded at the lower end of normal biological variation) and getting my AMH retested to try to find answers (it had actually gone up, and was told I was now a risk for OHSS and would have to do a freeze-all cycle next despite having bugger-all eggs collected the first time!!!) we made a variety of changes to the next stimulation cycle (different stim medication, let follicles grow larger than they would normally before trigger, different trigger, increased the time between trigger shot and egg collection). I did my second egg collection in September 2021. That cycle we got 6 eggs. Again we beat all the odds and all 6 made it to day 5, but only 3 were considered suitable blasts at day 5 and all were frozen. The other 3 embryos they left for another day, but on day 6 said none looked good enough to be frozen. We did a medicated FET in December 2021 and I got a BFP on new year eve 2021. My DD was born in September 2022 after a smooth pregnancy.
Towards the end of last year, we decided it was time to try for a sibling. We had 2 frozen embryos remaining from the September 2021 cycle. We transferred 1 embryo in January 2024 and I'm now 12 weeks pregnant - just waiting for my NHS scan next week to confirm everything is progressing as it should be, but feeling hopeful.
My tips and advise would be that you just don't know how this journey is going to go for you until you start. There was no reason why I should have had so few eggs collected, and I had to learn to lower my expectations (which was really hard seeing how many other eggs others got collected). Conversely, we have had an amazing survival rate - we did not have the expected drop off with eggs not fertilizing or not making it to day 5 that other couples experience. Very much, no one can predict what will happen for you until you start this journey, as everyone's journey is unique. Just try to tackle each thing as it comes.
Wishing you the best of luck on your journey