3rd FET yesterday, feeling down

[CoCoaButter85]

Had my 3rd FET yesterday. All went as it should so nothing to indicate at this point of time that it didn't work. However, I feel really down about it. It could be self preservation. I was more optimistic the last two times but this time I just can't help myself but feel depressed about it and have it in my head already that it didn't work. I took a day off from work and going on holiday next week so in theory should be in high spirits but all I want to do is eat rubbish and watch TV to take my mind off it. Planning to test early as I would rather know in advance and have more time to come to terms with it.

@CoCoaButter85 Sorry to hear you're feeling that way, I'm about to go into my 2nd FET and I have to say I'm going in quite cautiously after the first FET failing. Were your embryos tested? Ours aren't so it really is trial and error

No, not tested. Trial and error and bit of luck for us as well.

I was very positive about the 1st one, even with the 2nd one had high hopes (tested positive early on but turned negative by the official date). This time just feeling very negative about it. It doesn't help I have cold (not too serious, just sore throat and blocked nose, in general not very well).

How long have you been trying and do you have timeline in mind? I want to finish it by the end of the year. So one more collection and that's it I think

@CoCoaButter85 I've had 4 egg collections and embryo banked. Got 6 blastocysts and 1 day 3 in the freezer after the failed FET. Will work through those embryos and then would consider another egg collection as I'm 38 but after that it would likely be it. Just want to give it our best shot. What are your circumstances? Mine has been low amh and I have thyroid antibodies

@CoCoaButter85 was going to say it good you tested positive, shows you must have implanted? I'm guessing from your username you may be the same age as me? In which case its very much a numbers game, hopefully out of 3 or 4 embryos one would be good

@Sunflower360 only getting back to you now. was watching TV and feeling sorry for myself all day. Was watching 'One Day' on Netflix - pretty good. I find some binge watching always helps me when feeling down or just need to disconnect from everything for a bit.

You have a good number of embryos. Thinking logically you would expect that you will certainly be able to get at least x1 good quality one. I know very much it is easier said than done. Why did you decide against testing them?

I had a miscarriage 3 years ago now. Since then getting pregnant, having my own baby is all I can think about every single day. There is no chance I can get back to who I was before... 1 year of IVF in May. Nothing wrong with neither myself or husband. However, after last unsuccessful FET they tested me for NK cells so on steroids and itralipids this cycle.

I've paid for 2 egg collections and all transfers through Access. So have one more in my package. But I feel it puts all my life on hold. I have chosen my current company to work for so that there's less stress to conceive naturally and still at it (it'snot bad company so I really shouldn't complain)... so yeah, not the best life experience to go through

@CoCoaButter85 well having a good embryo is one thing, my body not recognising it as a foreign body is another as thyroid antibodies can lead to miscarriages, hence being on steroids. Whether it'll work or not is another thing. Apparently, a foetus relies on the mother for thyroid hormones in the first 12 weeks, so hopefully the steroids will help to allow my thyroid gland to do that.

I had considered PGTA but my prognosis was 2-3 embryos at first over 3 egg collections at Create so PGTA was not advised with a low number of embryos. I ended up with 8 embryos including the day 3, but by that point they were all frozen. And although the Consultant has advised PGTA would help the selection process in transferring he did agree it would have been better to have tested when the embryos were fresh as there is a risk an embryo or 2 may not survive the freeze/thaw/test/freeze/thaw process. I mean, you wouldn't do that with a piece of meat from the freezer, so why an embryo?! I'm not sure we know enough about it to realise what effect it can even have, but I was concerned that we could lose one of our 'good' embryos, if we have one, in that process. In any case you'll know if their any good when their transferred, PGTA just speeds up that process and can prevent numerous transfers. I am considering double transfers if this FET doesn't work, which would speed up the process of whittling it down and to reduce costs of FETs...but we'll see as I understand if one miscarries it could affect the other embryo-minefield of decisons with IVF!!!!

Do you have any frozen or would you go straight into another EC? Hopefully of course this does work for you and with 2 FETs already done the odds are in your favour-were they are all from the same EC?

@Sunflower360 - I had Chicago tests done for my immune which came back elevated. There is no strong evidence but I'm happy to give it a go.

I was reading up about PGTA testing and the fact that otherwise healthy embryos could be destroyed. It's quite a lot to go through and obviously age is not on your side (same with me). If you 're not afraid of twins double transfer worth considering. Otherwise the costs just sky rocket.

All of my 3 embryos were from the same collection and apparently all fairly good quality as well (not that it says much)

Ideally I would get on with another collection as soon as. Just get it done and move on. But who knows, this might work. There's nothing to indicate that it hasn't worked. Will test next week Tuesday/ Wednesday.

@CoCoaButter85 how are you getting on?

Negative. I'm on holiday abroad now so decided to enjoy few drinks. Still doing the medication obviously but gave up hope. Had a little cry and started thinking about how my life would work out if I will never have a baby after all this. Very much emotional rollercoaster and need to work hard to keep myself in check.

How are you getting on? Anything nice planned for the long weekend?

@CoCoaButter85, I'm really sorry to hear that. Did you say you have another EC?

I'm trying to keep distracted for this possible FET, so got some social things planned for Easter weekend and will see what the coming weeks hold

@Sunflower360 yes, we do have another EC with access package. So in theory not everything is lost yet. But I am starting to think of life where this doesn't happen. Hard to accept but need to be ready I think.

Good idea to keep yourself busy. I took time off from work but I think going forward will just take afternoon off and continue as usual otherwise.

Hi OP @CoCoaButter85 how are things going for you now - I have had my 3rd FET yesterday following a miscarriage last year and unable to conceive since. Everything looks ok on paper but its not happening for us. Hoping you have had more success in the past year.