OH drinking

[NewName2122]

Please can someone help me. I need some advise.

We had a call from our IVF consultant last week after a failed first round who pretty much told us they are sure the fault came from my partners sperm, he has for the last few weeks been taking proxeed and has been taking zinc for a few months however but he enjoys a night out at the weekend. He did go a good few weeks maybe 6-7 weeks with no alcohol before our ivf round but now it's over he's gone back to going out again, day/nights out and will drink for sometimes 10 hours, beers and vodkas usually. He doesn't drinking during the week at all but just likes a "blow out" at the weekend. He binge drinks at the weekend then might go a couple of weeks with nothing.

So I guess my question is, how badly could this be affecting him?

Sorry to heard about your unsuccessful round. If there’s a sperm problem no alcohol and low caffeine would be advised for him. Usually for 3 months minimum as sperm can take 3 months to regenerate. Did you do ICSI the first time?

Hi thanks for replying. Yes ICSI 20 eggs collected and only 1 made it to day 5 embyo :(

@NewName2122 I’m sorry to hear that, 20 eggs was a great number. There’s lots of other sperm tests that can be done that hopefully someone more knowledgeable than me will be able to tell you able but I would maybe look into those before putting yourself through another egg collection if they think it is a sperm issue.

@Capybara95 I will do thank you. The drinking I feel is an issue I just don't know how much it is affecting things

@NewName2122 Hi sorry to hear about your failed round. What did your fertilization numbers look like I know you said only one made it to day 5 but did you have many prior to that point? In our first round we had only 1 make it to day 6 (and a day 3 transfer) neither worked but I wondered whether there was a quality issue on both sides. My OH took proxeed and I started taking Ovum we did this for 6 months and did the retest on the SA and his numbers had gone up significantly. Our latest round we got 10 good quality embryos day 5 & 6 so something worked better. I think you do need to give it at least 3 months to see a change because of the regeneration timescales. So I think they say whatever you do today affects the quality of what is being produced over the next 3 months. It's really hard trying to get 'through to some partners, I know my fiance now still won't give up caffeine and though he doesn't drink much he won't think twice to a couple of pints whenever offered or after football where I can just say no thanks. I think ultimately you need to have the conversation of how much you both should want this to work and you've got make sacrifices to try and get there. It is really tough and drawn out but surely its much harder on you that has to go through the treatment than him to miss out on a few big weekends.

@Nk11 thank you for replying. Out of the 20 eggs we had 11 fertilise. We spoke to the consultant who said although they can't be sure they are confident in saying the issue lay on the sperm side and wasn't too concerned about the egg, I know this can't be 100% but he said in their opinion.
Did your OH take proxeed twice a day? He is taking it in the evening but must be honest and say the morning was does get missed, he also taking vitamin C and zinc
So happy to hear you had a more successful round second time round
I feel like I'm constantly nagging but he doesn't seem to see the seriousness in it and thinks as he doesn't drink during the week it shouldn't be a problem. He did so well no drinking for the most part before the cycle but I feel like we're going to be going round in circles with this

Also what is Ovum I have never heard of that @Nk11

@NewName2122 He took it twice a day mainly but would sometimes confess to only once and since we've got these embryos he's stopped it now but he took it for over a year as we took some time away from IVF after our previous round. I know how you feel but to be honest 10 hour drinking sessions is a bit extreme can he not just go for a few pints at the weekend. I would be saying to him how can he be taking it seriously and really when that's his only part surely he should be doing his best to get those numbers better. Sorry I really feel for you because its hard enough without that too. I'm sure everything in moderation is fine but I can't see how binge drinking is doing any good. Maybe you should ask the consultant when you both have your next appointment, not that you have to out him but you could ask what their opinion is on alcohol and sperm health so he hears it from a medical person?

Another thing my OH did was stopped having baths which he thought was ridiculous when I first told him because he would have one every night but they told us that heating the area can reduce quality / numbers. My OH has gone from 7mil/ml to 44mil/ml thats with proxeed, cutting down on caffeine and alcohol and no baths, nothing crazy he already works out and eats healthy.

@NewName2122 It's a female fertility supplement it's got everything in it recommended for pre-conception. If you google it they have a website with all the information. I found it better than trying to take them individually and they have all the research into what helps with egg quality.

@Nk11 I have said I'll say I'll ask the consultants advice next time we are there. It's so hard, I feel like we, as well as many other couples, have put our life on hold for so many years, it's hard to feel like you are giving everything up and still not seeing any success 😢oh gosh, baths is a whole other subject! Another thing I'm trying to get him to take seriously. He works in a manual job so coming home and relaxing in the bath is part of his day!

That's amazing your OH managed to improve that much!!

I will have a look at Ovum

Thank you for commenting, it really does mean a lot and makes me feel less alone x

@NewName2122 I mean I give him some grief and that's just when he has a few coffees a day...is that decaff though!? But when I'm having 2 injections 4 tablets and pessaries every day of my life not to mention internal scans and surgical procedures to still have no pregnancy yet I'm like the least you can do is not go in the bath 😫

Honestly there's so many people feel the same way and are in the same boat but it doesn't always feel like it when you have to see endless baby announcements.

@Nk11 I feel you! I know he is trying, he is taking his supplements and proxeed, admittedly not twice a day but I'm sure if I tell him he will do. It's so hard putting life on hold and not knowing how long it will take 😢