What would you do to get pregnant if money wasn't an issue?

[CatmumTTC]

Hi all, in a slightly strange position where I told my dad about our TTC problems and he has said he'll pay for whatever we want to do. I think the upper limit of help will be really quite high as he has done pretty well for himself and he wants grandchildren (I'm his only child) so it's something he wants to "invest" in.

I get that this puts me in a very privileged position but just thought I'd ask what others think we should try first. Our current plan is to try IUI first and if that doesn't work look into IVF, but speaking to a friend they couldn't see why we wouldn't just go straight for IVF if the money was there. I thought it was more invasive and comes with more risks.

We've had all the standard tests already, SA and HyCosy all fine. It's unlikely I ovulate naturally (PCOS) so the private clinic has recommend Letrizole with IUI for added measure for three cycles. But reading on here it sounds like on the NHS Letrizole is prescribed for much longer periods and without IUI. I'm wondering if I should get a second opinion at my GP anyway and try Letrizole for longer without IUI visa the NHS - and save my dad some money!

Or if I should stuff all this and just go for IVF because the money is there. What would you do?

We've been trying for almost a year now. I'm 33. I've made load of lifestyle changes to try and ovulate naturally, trying OPKs again this month to see if it's helped. But if not we need to make a decision so would appreciate views from those who have been through it.

Hi
I would go to a private clinic and have bloods, sperm analysis and a pelvic exam.
It may be your husband who is the cause and not you. Also I suggest he takes supplements such as proceive to boost his count / mobility and morphology.
We have just gone through this process paying privately and discovered I have very mild PCO on my left ovary and nothing on my right (all clear). But it's my husbands morphology (shape of sperm) that could be the issues.. that and we have been trying for years (we have a 16yr old natural conception) that they have suggested ICSI (sperm injected into egg).
For me if I had these tests years ago (I'm 41) weeks could have started the process sooner without endless years of trying!
I just hope for us it's not too late

@Sarah000000 Yes that's what we have done privately already. Partner had SA and was all fine. My scans and blood tests reconfirmed my earlier PCOS diagnosis so the problem is likely me not him.

Tried husband on the supplements but he is so bad at taking them I gave up. He is very healthy though, younger than me and exercises well. So not too worried about his swimmers.

For me I find IVF such a brutal process. One may think it is all very scientific and surely it would be smooth sailing as there should be years and years of experience on this but talk to a doctor and they won't be able to explain why it fails. Sometimes it feels like it is luck. If you have time try to get all the information first before committing and try to speak to a lot of "experts" before deciding. I didn't have time I had to have IVF before I turn 42.

I am usually a calm person but the hormones, the injections, the whole process did affect me. Also, as soon as now try to get as much support to help you through the process. You may also want to look into acupuncture and some supplements to see if it could help. We are taking Impryl as per the doctors advise as my husbands sperm motility and morphology was low.

Good Luck.

Thanks @mrsmb03 that is what I thought about IVF too, seems like it really is an overwhelming process that's best avoided if possible. Though we do want multiple children (2-3) so can't wait for ever. Acupuncture has never appealed to me tbh, find the idea of all those tiny needles quite stressful - the opposite of what you want it to achieve! But you raise a good point on what else is worth spending money on, I thought about getting some therapy sessions to help with the mental strain of TTC for example. I'm also on loads of supplements already.

@CatmumTTC it sounds like if you have PCOS and don’t ovulate it may be worthwhile doing medicated cycles to induce ovulation first? Plus IUI if you wanted. This would then mean you aren’t doing a full on IVF cycle and it gives your body a chance to naturally become pregnant? Of course you could always put a timescale on it in advance ie we will do x number of cycles and if this doesn’t work then move onto ivf?

definitely ask for a second opinion and see what the experts say!

Hey @CatmumTTC I would do a round of IVF and pgt-a test any embryos you get. You can learn a lot about your fertility/any issues through doing ivf and I personally chose to test my embryos using pgt-a to increase my chances of a successful pregnancy. I would also think about freezing tested embryos for future use, if money was no object 😊

*if you wanted more than one child that is

If you haven’t even tried Letrozole yet then I would give that a go first. It really is a wonder drug!
If time is an issue, but money isn’t, then I would
go to a private clinic and do a few rounds of IUI you can start straight away. And if after 3 attempts you’re not pregnant then do IVF.

It sounds like you’ve pin pointed your problem which is ovulation. Letrozole will get you ovulating so it may be the only help you need. you don’t want to do ivf if you can avoid it.

Thanks for all the feedback. Sounds hopeful re letrozole. I've booked an appointment with my GP so will see what they say about all the tests we have had so far. They'll only do a phone appointment first though, assume they wouldn't prescribe letrozole without seeing me so I guess that's not what they'll be recommending first. @AnnieStar12 agree I just want to get a prescription now and get cracking!

@browneyedgirl626 did you go straight to IVF? I hadn't heard about embryo testing. I also hadn't thought about freezing eggs for future children but I guess that's an option given we know we want more than one and the eggs will be better now than in a few years time. Lots to think about.

I think the main thing to bear in mind is that there are zero guarantees with IVF, no matter how much time and money you throw at it. It also doesn’t matter how healthy either partner is, or if there are no identifiable issues. It’s best to manage expectations on this front very early on.

@CatmumTTC no I didn't go straight to ivf, we ttc for nearly 3 years, I had a missed miscarriage and 2 chemical pregnancies in that time. There were no known issues with myself or my partner, apart from me having elevated nk cells (which is a contested area of fertility by the way) so I had an immune protocol which included steroids.

I would however agree with others re trying letrozole for a period of time if you aren't ovulating as that could be an easy fix before embarking on ivf.

I would also look into freezing eggs v freezing embryos. I got 38 eggs in my first egg collection, only 8 of them fertilized and 6 became embryos. It would have been a lot of money to freeze all 38 of those eggs with a huge drop off rate, you're much better off freezing embryos because they are far more likely to give you more chance of a live birth in comparison to eggs which are known to have a big drop off rate and haven't undergone the fertilization and blastocyst phase. Just might be worth reading up about it. I think egg freezing is sold to women without all the statistics and I think it's a bit unfair considering what a huge expense it is plus annual ongoing storage costs x

My husband and I got pregnant in Ukraine, with a reproductive specialist, Victoria Gudziak. We had a serious problem - I'm 48 years old, Alex is 47 and I have endometriosis, severe adhesions after surgery, and problems with genetics.

So we were looking for a doctor who would be willing to help us. We contacted the doctor's agency, got in touch, and came twice to Lviv from Poland, it was safe there.

Everything is going well - I got pregnant from the first try, I am 14 weeks now, we used my husband's sperm and donor oocytes

At 33 you're in a different position to a lot of people on here. Your egg quality is likely to be good and as a result you will have better chance of success with IVF. There is no reason to waste money on PGTA at this point and your age, it is only recommended in the event of recurrent miscarriages. I personally wouldn't waste money on IUI - success rates are terrible. There is however a good book by Robert Winston that emphasises the importance of not launching into IVF and considering alternatives. 'The essential fertility guide'. It's a quick easy read and very pragmatic based on research rather than anecdotes. Then find a private consultant who works along the same lines and isn't going to pump money out of you by selling unnecessary add ons or tests. Acupuncture has no evidence to support its use and is not recommended by the HFEA, nor is any homeopathy or supplements. The HFEA website is another good place for pragmatic, science guided advice. I'd steer clear of blogs and highly marketed books eg 'it starts with the egg'.

As much as it might be a bit uncomfortable I would also have frank conversations with your dad and your partner regarding the financial aspect. Is your partner comfortable with this arrangement? Are you fully comfortable? What is your dads financial threshold? When would you start to get uncomfortable price wise? Same question for your partner. It's a very generous offer but I think you need transparency before starting. Does your dad know how much this could cost? As per pp, nothing is certain and you can quickly rack up a £40-50k bill with nothing to show for it.

Good luck with however you take things forwards :)