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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

I don’t know what to do anymore

3 replies

clazbear · 19/01/2024 06:25

Hi everyone,
Just needed to brain dump somewhere but would also love any advice/stories of similar situations.
Been TTC for nearly 3 years, all test results normal. Started IVF one year ago, done 1 egg collection with 4 4AA embryos. 1 fresh transfer (resulted in a chemical), 1 FET which failed. There has been some debate over whether I have fluid in my fallopian tubes, been scanned multiple times but nothing conclusive. I have Crohn’s and had 2 major surgeries in the past which have left scar tissue around that area so it’s linked to that I suspect.
The doctor says I should consider surgery to remove this potential fluid however is in 2 minds whether to send me for it as I would be very high risk and they think it could send me into a Crohn’s flare up. I went for a 3D scan yesterday and the sonographer said she thinks it is much worse than first thought with severe scar tissue and fluid in definitely one, potentially both tubes. She said they would refuse to do another transfer currently because I’m too high risk for ectopic etc, but the doctor also said they are reluctant to send me for surgery.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I have done absolutely everything I can to try and resolve this issue (overhauled my diet, exercise, sleep, taking supplements, stopped drinking etc etc), nothing I can do seems to be helping. I am trying to be guided by the experts but no one wants to commit to a solution, they all tell me different things. I am starting to think maybe this will just never happen for me but I don’t want to face into that either. To top things off, it feels like every person I know is pregnant at the moment (including my sister and my boss) and I am just surrounded. I feel like I’m becoming so isolated but I just don’t want to be around anyone and not sure if this is making it worse.

OP posts:
Ellenn · 20/01/2024 13:50

Hey 👋 so sorry to hear about your experiences so far. Infertility is just awful. It just affects so many different aspects of your life doesn’t it?

would it be possible to get a 2nd opinion either privately or via NHS?I believe you can request this. Could you get a laparoscopy? Alternatively if the wait list on nhs is too long could you do this abroad? There seems to be high quality clinics abroad that may have experience/be willing to help you?

Sorry I don’t have experience of this exactly b it I can emphasise with the frustration of the whole process. Being unexplained is just awful as well as there obviously is an issue just we can’t find it 😢

Ellenn · 20/01/2024 13:51

You are also really not alone, there are so many of us in this infertility limbo desperately wanting something we can’t have or have any control over. There is fertility network that can be a good source for other support too? And of course there are so many of us here ironically on ‘mumsnet’ 🤣

mrsmb03 · 25/01/2024 22:20

I am so sorry. I also feel like this. This process is very isolating and there are times I am just fed up, my sister in law who already have 3 kids also recently got another one without even trying when at the same time my embryo transfer that was initially positive failed . I don't think people who have it easy or have what we are trying to have can really understand. All I want to say is although you do feel isolated there are plenty of us who feel exactly this way. I just wish we get more support and society understands more about this issue. Hope you are ok. 🤗

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