Abortion after Infertility - Please Read

[mime26]

Please no nasty comments. I know this is a hard subject for a lot of people

My partner and I have been trying for a baby for 3 years (we have been together for 9years). Last year it was discovered that I don’t ovulate and we would possibly need IVF.

Whilst waiting for IVF, I was taking Letrozole and fell pregnant in August. A few weeks later my partner and I hit a rocky patch and essentially broke up and he moved out. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis and was not able to eat/drink or even move for weeks. During this time my dad was diagnosed Leukemia.

Due to the strain of everything on my mental and physical health, I made the difficult decision to have an abortion at 12 weeks.

Since then my dad seems to be getting better and me and my partner are back together however he thinks I had a miscarriage and I have not told him any different.

What I wanted to know is:

1. Would I be able to be referred for fertility again in the future despite me having an abortion? I don’t have periods and so getting pregnant in the first instance required Medroxyprogesterone and then a course of Letrozole.

2. Would they (the clinic) tell/have to tell my partner that I had an abortion?

I would appreciate any advice with this please.

sorry to hear of your struggles and bad luck recently, I know how much pressure infertility can put on a relationship.
We tried for 7 years before becoming pregnant with our miracle baby and there was many ups and down in our relationship along the way.
I can’t really advise as to whether the abortion will affect treatment but one of the questions I was asked on my consent form was ‘have I ever been pregnant before’, I’m not sure if there were additional questions on this as my answer was no but you may possibly be questioned on this in front of your partner while they read through the forms.
Every area is different so maybe the standard consent questions will differ. Hopefully if you continue the meds your on you wouldn’t require IVF treatment.
Goid luck :)

Thank you for your reply.

I’m hopeful that I won’t need IVF and when I was prescribed Letrozole, they didn’t ask me any questions regarding past pregnancies.

I’m hoping that I can take Medroxyprogesterone and Letrozole again and hopefully fall pregnant again in the future. My main concern is that they may not refer us again 😔

Well I have a friend of a friend (who I don’t know extremely well) and I know she had an abortion at 16 and hasn’t conceived since, herself and partner were referred for IVF but as he was a smoker or had smoked within the last 3 months she didn’t get to far. I’m not sure if she had passed the initial consultation where she had completed the consent form and stated her past pregnancy. Sorry I know that’s not much help but I’m sure there are people like yourselves who have made the decision of abortion for whatever reason then struggle to conceive.
Also, they ask if your happy to give them access to your medical records (as far as I’m aware mine were never looked at) and if there is no mention of abortion in them then how would they know?
On the plus side, you DID get pregnant without IVF help so there’s every chance it can happen again for you.

Thank you for your reply.

I know for IVF it might be difficult.

I’m more wondering if the GP would refer us to the fertility clinic again (or if the clinic would even accept us again) because I’ve had an abortion. I got pregnant the first time with fertility drugs that could only be provided by the fertility clinic which is what I would want to do again in the future.

I know this is quite a niche situation so it’s difficult to answer. I’ve exhausted google trying to find one.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. As per other posters standard questions in fertility consults/treatment will be whether you have had a previous pregnancy. Presumably these would be asked in front of your husband and you would therefore have to lie about the outcome. This could be misleading for the clinic/doctor. Can you really go through the rest of your life and potentially parenting a child with some who you have told such a big lie to? I appreciate the consequences could be tough but I would be inclined to be honest about your decision and take it from there. I can't imagine living with that kind of deception about something so emotional and involving you both.

In terms of fertility referrals, I suspect yes you would still be seen. You don't have a child and from what you've said it's clear you need assistance to conceive.

Hi, Hoping I can put your mind at ease a little ❤️
I had an abortion with a previous partner, and was asked by the fertility clinic in our first appointment if I had ever been pregnant before, I said yes, with a previous partner (not long before getting together with my DH), and had had a termination as I was not in the right situation at that point to have a child. The doctor really didn’t seem phased, if anything he gave the impression that it was encouraging that I had managed to fall pregnant naturally.

I had already disclosed to my partner about this abortion so was fine to say it in front of him but I was also worried they would turn us down as id had a previous termination but it really wasn’t an issue.

Also, details of your abortion will not be shared with your doctor / nhs file if you went directly to bpas etc, so if you don’t feel you want to ‘come clean’ to your partner then there is no way of the clinic finding out you had an abortion if you haven’t given permission for the info to be shared so I can’t really see why it would be an issue you saying it was a miscarriage.

I understand why you would feel judged, but fertility / pregnant etc really is a very personal thing for everyone and I believe that you did what was right for you at the time and that is nobody else’s business but yours ❤️

I had a termination years ago with an ex and I had told my husband about this. It has come up with clinics and as he knows I say yes. It doesn't affect your position with getting IVF if anything its extremely positive that you can get pregnant. The clinic asks once and thats it - no more. we changed clinic and were asked again and I said no, I then emailed the clinic with the truth and said not to mention infront of my husband as he is sensitive to this, and they have respected this. Don't worry about it just make sure you let the clinic know

A different situation re timelines, but I had a termination years ago with the partner I'm still with, and then had NHS IVF last year. No one batted an eyelid at the termination or asked me any questions about it.

If you're worried about being questioned about it, could you contact the clinic and talk to them about your concerns?

I can imagine just how difficult this would be to discuss with your partner, but I do also echo the other poster - are you sure you want to keep it a secret from him? It sounds like you were in a deeply stressful situation and I'd hope he would have compassion and understanding.

Take care and best of luck.

@preggo39 @Rosequartzz @HopefulHead yours are all different situations, you didn't have a termination having undergone fertility treatment. I still think it's unlikely to cause an issue though OP. I would still suggest considering the situation with lying to your partner.

Thank you for all your replies. They have helped to ease my worries.

I contacted my GP and they said that I would have to try naturally for 12 months before re-referral, despite initially being referred by them knowing that I cannot conceive naturally.

I found an old clinic letter from the hospital and called the consultants secretary and they didn’t have a clue what the GP was talking about and said they could re-refer straight away.

I have some of the Letrozole left over from my last cycle and so would only need the Medroxyprogesterone to induce a bleed. The consultant that I saw on the NHS also does a clinic at a private hospital so thinking in the future to go there and pay for the Medroxyprogesterone as the NHS lists are quite a long wait in my area.

Many thanks for all your help and advice, it has been much appreciated!