No one needs to reply to me, I just feel this is the only place I can let out how I'm feeling.
My boss just brought in her new baby to the office. Beautiful little boy. I desperately wanted to cuddle him. He was being fed so I couldn't. She just had work stuff to do and had to feed him too. I was okay for a bit but then had to steal myself to the toilets to cry my eyes out. My heart just felt like it would burst. I'm 45 and never even been pregnant. I regret ever going on the pill all those years ago, but I stopped taking it about 20 years ago.
So it seems my eggs have never been good enough. We tried fertility clinics, but it cost too much. Our only option would be embryo donation, but that costs too. My life has not turned out the way I thought it would when I was little. I just want to curl up away from the world.