Help- NHS IVF

[Waitinggame42023]

Hi all, just looking for any advice or support anyone in a similar situation really.

DH and I have been TTC for over 4 years now. We went through a GP referral to a consultant about 2 and a half years ago, we had the usual tests (bloods, repeat bloods, sperm sample testing, repeat sperm sample testing, internal ultrasound etc). No obvious issues, but as we'd already been trying over 2 years at that point the consultant recommended we go straight to IVF. We weren't advised at the time that there'd be any wait.

Unfortunately, due to job and house uncertainty caused by covid, we had to make the difficult decision to postpone until we were more stable. We were told we'd have to start with a fresh referral etc.

We're now in a more stable position, I'm also 35 (husband 40) so time is ticking. However, I'm now worried about the wait time for NHS IVF. After much digging, I found something that suggested the current wait time in our area is 48 weeks. On top of that, it's a 6 week wait for the initial GP app, plus all the seemingly pointless pre-tests. So we're looking at 2025 just to start treatment.

So DH and I are discussing going private, but honestly we just don't have the money. We'd have to push hard to find it, and with only a 1 in 4 chance of it working, it frightens me to think how low we'd be when it likely failed (obviously will be painful anyway but even worse after paying £££).

We don't know whether to wait for NHS treatment knowing the clock is tickingagainst us, trying to keep our patience while NHS stall and delay us with pointless repeat tests. Or to just push ourselves pay for the private treatment to start ASAP, but lose our entitled to one NHS cycle?

It's really sad, I know it's unlikely now that we will become parents. A part of me thinks it would just be better if we made our peace with being childless now, rather than go through all the pain (and potentially money) for a 25%. But DH is keen to make sure we've tried everything.

Bump

It is so difficult. I understand your dilemma.

I would definitely keep things going with the nhs because you don’t know how long it will be and there is nothing lost in being on the waiting. I was waiting for ivf initial appointment which actually came through a few months faster than I was told initially. It could be sooner than you think because all sorts of things happen with waiting lists.

The private option is more difficult. I would be tempted to get on the nhs waiting list and then phone the nhs secretary to get a clearer idea of your wait time. Only you know your financial situation in terms of going ahead if you feel the nhs wait is long.

I wouldn’t get too focused on statistics like 1 in 4 chance. Everyone’s chances are very individual with ivf but I understand it’s a lot of money with no guarantees.

It is hard to keep hope. I was very focussed on my age when I was trying but having met a lot of people going through fertility issues there are many women having babies in their late thirties and early forties so I really don’t think your situation is hopeless.

fertility is a mysterious thing. I know someone who had her first two children via ivf after many years and then went on to have 3 naturally!

We didn’t wait long at all for our treatment. Just a few months.

We went private after being told the NHS wait time last November was going to be at least 8 weeks even to see a consultant that was before even deciding what treatment path would be needed. I had a full round with fresh transfer last December and a frozen transfer in Feb. We then discovered my partner had a varicocele so had surgery for that at the end of Feb and so delayed our NHS treatment to allow 6 months for it to work. We picked back up with the NHS clinic in July and we are just about to start our funded round now. So I would say our NHS time from referral to treatment is about 6 months if you take out the time we have delayed it for.

We were told that as our treatment was not successful and we had paid for 2 rounds privately not 3, we were still eligible for one funded cycle so you could possibly still have private treatment and not void your nhs round.

My other advice is that ivf is very much trial and error so unless your first round is successful you probably will end up having to pay for it at some point whether that is now or later and if you don’t want to wait I would be tempted to go for it. Although we didn’t get our success from our paid rounds we learned so much and the doctors can take from it and tweak things now to try for a better outcome going forwards. Hope this helps x