Embryo Transfer - DEIVF

[ttcsince2017]

Hey guys,
Would love to hear your stories on how you felt during transfer and the TWW.

I have been so excited up until the last couple of days. Arrived at the clinic and it felt a bit like an out of body experience. I could also see my husband was really anxious and nervous.

Whilst we were waiting in theatre for the doctor we started doubting our decision and felt really upset.
After the transfer I cried and felt full of guilt for not being excited and positive :(

please help!

Hello @ttcsince2017 - that’s a lot you’ve both been through (esp if you’re on a six year journey to that moment).

Can you explain more about the doubt? Was it becoming parents in general, the process, something else? No need to feel guilty about how you felt - you do need to feel your feelings to deal with them. Time for excitement can come.

Counselling is really helpful at times as feelings are so complex over infertility and the process so it can be good to share the complexity of the experience.

I had a transfer today so happy to do the TWW with you!

Happy transfer day @IslandsintheOcean
are you using DE too?

We have been through 10rounds of IVF, 2 x laparoscopy, 1 x hysteroscopy.

The doubt is partially due to doing this without discussing with family or friends, the only people that know about this is our consultants and counsellor.

Feel bad saying this but we were sat in the waiting room and another couple came in with their 3yr old daughter for a 2nd transfer. The daughter looked nothing like either of them and that scared me. I didn’t want it to be obvious we have used a donor :(

Got it, I reread the title. That’s a lot to process. You’ve been on quite a journey. I’m sure the research is really positive about telling children their birth stories and part of that would be also about donor origins. So over time you may share more widely - so it’s one thing to think no one will find out but if you think it’s something you can share with trusted people over time it will be easier to get your head around I guess.

Great to have had counselling - I guess the transfer made it really real for you.

We are MFI so own eggs this round.

I think you think people will notice things that they most likely won’t. My parents are dark but my brother is blond with blue eyes. My dads sisters have that colouring but he doesn’t look anything like my mam and dad but I don’t think people would even register it.

I agree with JadeAC, i think when we’re looking at donor conception we start analysing these things more than most people. Genes can do quirky things - even choosing our egg donor based on my characteristics, I’m thinking the kid could come out looking like a random great aunt from my husband’s side anyway 😂

I think everything you’re feeling is totally understandable.

Remember - you don’t have to feel positive for it to work! Good luck x

I look nothing like my parents (either of them!!!) and I am definitely their biological daughter! I even have a DNA test to prove I am my dads daughter (because of a genetic illness).

So I dont think people will even consider that!

Good luck with everything!

Hi @ttcsince2017
I have my transfer on Wednesday and I'm a mix of emotions!
Be kind to yourself, its a long and tough journey but you know you have a lot of love to give.

I already have a daughter who everyone says looks like her dad and I worry that of I have a girl from my DE transfer, they will look nothing alike.

I think our mind just goes into overdrive!

Wishing you all the best x

Thank you to you all for your responses, very much appreciated.
A few days after the transfer I overcame the overwhelming emotions I felt during transfer and it switched to a fear to test. After so many failed OE cycles I was automatically expecting the worst but I am excited to share, after 6years I finally have my first BFP xx

Congratulations on your positive test!

I have a son from donor egg IVF and a naturally conceived son who came along the year after, my donor egg son actually looks more similar to me colouring wise and people actually comment on his younger brother as he has this randomly bright blonde hair whereas me and my partner are both really dark

@ttcsince2017 i know this is an old post but how did you get on? Xx