3 rounds and over it, when did you call it quits?

[36Infertile]

I’ve had 3 rounds of IVF, got 4 embryos out of it, 3 have been transferred across separate cycles and all failed.

I have low AMH and very poor response to stims (max eggs retrieved 6) and no male factor issues

Healthy weight, non smoker, 36 yo F

I had grade 3 endo removed laparoscopically before the third round and the gynae said this is the cleanest everything has been inside, no better time to try. She was so positive, said I have everything on my side this time. Age, health, uterus ‘looks perfect’ and there is no reason I won’t get pregnant

Spoiler alert: we only got one morula on day 5, a fresh transfer that failed. I had baby asprin, progesterone and coq10 plus pre natals to support

She is one of the best gynae around, expensive and so experienced

I know she will want me to do another round or FET with the one frozen emby we have

When do you give up? I am ready to, we decided it was 3 rounds and that’s it

It’s not a financial decision, we have access to low cost IVF (very grateful)

I just don’t see the point of repeating the same thing, same protocols, meds, supplements etc and expecting a different result for round 4. Everything inside looks good, all blood tests come back looking good as well

Whats the bloody point of trying again and again meaninglessly?

Im so over it, and feeling so alone. My husband is my rock, he will support whatever I decide

Two close friends recently announced their pregnancies, both in their early 30s. One tried for 3 mos and got pregnant naturally and the other got pregnant unplanned despite using protection.

Im struggling to be around them or be happy, they don’t know our journey and I won’t burger them with it

It's such a hard journey xx I had three retrievals and three transfers plus a mock transfer. My third transfer worked after lots of extra investigations (ERA)

We decided that once we got to the end of the embryos we had frozen that was our end point.

Everyone is different. Only you can know when enough is enough xx

It’s so hard, and the decision is personal but I couldn’t leave a frozen embryo without trying (as I also struggled to get embryos, was never going to be one of those with 6 in the freezer from one round when that might be more difficult to go through loads of FETs, some rounds I didn’t get anything to transfer).

The friends getting pregnant easily is horrible to deal with, I did distance myself from some people, not because they got pregnant but because of how they spoke about it to a friend who was talking about struggling with recurrent pregnancy loss, I was going through IVF at that time and they were going on about how fertile they were.

I also had lots of family members getting pregnant while I was doing IVF. Some planned others ‘surprises’ which always hit me harder. So I have an idea how horrible it feels. If these are good friends maybe say you’re so pleased for them but finding pregnancy a sensitive topic just now. I said that to people even though I wasn’t pleased for them at all if I’m honest, just went through the motions.

In any case you can take a break for a while to decide what is right for you both 💐

This is a difficult decision and after you have decided, you will have to find the emotional and physical strength to come to terms with the decision. Infertility is shit.

In all.our cycles, we always got one viable embryo (MFI). So it was always a start from the scratch.

I am sure you must have researched everything possible, in case it got missed, have you thought of doing a PGS on the remaining embryo to rule out any genetic abnormality.

Based in the outcome, you can decide your way forward. You will have something to base your decision on and might be easy to come to terms with it.

@Arewetherenow client advice. We did pgta for this exact reason

*excellent

Embryo testing is not offered here generally, it’s about as expensive as one round of IVF. They test up to 6 embryos for that cost so it’s worthwhile if you have a few good ones and want to choose the best but not an option for only one embryo

Then it may be difficult.

Our clinic sent embryo to a company which did the testing. This company collected embryo from multiple clinics and tested them together. This was in Europe.

Now that I think about I, it could also depend upon the type of test. We did PGS which was screening for generic abnormalities.

Hi @36Infertile !
I can feel your pain..
I had 3 IUI cycles and went through 3 IVF rounds myself, so I know how hard it is. I had 9 embryo transferes (3 of them double) - my last transfer worked, I got pregnant for the first time in my life. I am typing this message while holding my 10 weeks old daughter in my armas.
I decided that third round will be my last, cause whole experience was too hard for me. Main problem was low quality of my eggs. Last round my Dr changed my stimulation drugs for much more expensive ones - I had much better outcome, more eggs collected, better fertilization rates and finally top quality embyo, which is now my child. Was lucky to end up with a bunch of nice embryos in freezer if I ever want to try for another child.
My point is - don't give up if you are not ready. You never know when it will work. If you are ready - then just stop. Most important that you have peace with yourself.
Wish you all the best whatever you will decide.

Thank you for your kind words ❤
Can you share what meds you had in that last round?

@36Infertile
Ofcourse!
Recovelle + Luveris + Cetrotide + Ovitrelle (stimulation and trigger)
Clexane + Dexamethason + Utrogestan (for transfer and support)
Quite a lot of stuff, but it worked for me. 🙂

Hi @36Infertile just want to say you're not alone here.

I have also had a poor response to stims for my first 3 rounds, we only got 2 embryos out of those 3 rounds and I was ready to give up after round 3 produced no embryos at all. I was gutted

However we took half a years break and then approached a different clinic. They had a package deal which meant paying for 2 rounds up front and it worked out a lot cheaper, I decided this will be it then I'm going up to 5 rounds and then calling it a day.

So I started round 4, this time having taken for 3 months prior- COQ10 600mg a day and pregnacare conception added extra Vit D. I also cut down drinking alcohol significantly too (but not completely).

I didn't dream for a second I would end up getting 10 eggs and 5 blasts from this next round at all! Such an improvement from the previous 3 rounds! As you can imagine my hope was then restored.

I'm still on this rollercoaster unfortunately, my fresh embryo from round 4 didn't stick and I've just this month had my first ever frozen transfer from this batch of embryos, this did result in a BFP but turned out to be a chemical :'( but feel like we are getting a little bit further every time.

I've been on this journey 3.5 years and even though I recently had a bit of hope, Im not sure now if I could go through with round 5 if my 3 remaining frosties dont stick, it's such a tough journey and I completely empathise with you about how you feel with friends/family being pregnant, I've been avoiding mine a lot recently and can't bring myself to go and see my friends newborn either :'(