Time off after failed FET

[Ilovewheelychairs]

Hi all,

We had the news that our one and only shot at IVF, a FET with a 4BA embryo, failed yesterday.

We've been trying for 6 years, had 8 chemical pregnancies and now this failed FET. Refused for adoption due to BMI. Maxed out our available credit for this attempt (had to go abroad).

I've been signed off for the last couple of weeks to reduce stress after the embryo transfer, and it's now half term (I'm a teacher). However, both my husband and I are just utterly devastated that our journey is now at an end. There's no more money we can put into this.

I can't face the idea of going back to work with children next week. Would it be awful to ask the GP to sign me off for a bit longer til the rawness and emotion has subsided a little? I feel dreadful because I know I'm letting my children and colleagues down, but at the same time, I can't stop crying, am still full of hormones and my entire future is in tatters.

Am in such a quandary! Thanks for any advice.

I’m so, so sorry for what you’ve been through. I can’t be much help but just to say I am also a teacher so I completely understand the guilt associated with taking time off but you have to look after yourself and give yourself time to grieve and process, so don’t be afraid to ask for more time if you need it; you’re not letting anyone down, and at the end of the day as consuming as teaching can be it is just a job and the best thing you can do for yourself, your colleagues and students is to protect yourself first and foremost.

So sorry to hear about what you and your partner have been experiencing. I think you should definitely look after yourself first and foremost; your well-being should be number one. I know you might have feelings of "guilt" but it is okay to focus on yourself, especially considering what you have been through.

So sorry to hear for everything you have gone through.

Would they reconsider you adoption if you lost weight?

I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. At this moment in time you are the priority. Sending positivity and kindness your way ✨️ 💛

Thanks all. Going to give it another couple of days and see how I feel then I think. It's all very raw just now.

@RazzleDazz1e yes probably, but that wasn't the question. Statistically, the likelihood of me being able to lose said amount of weight and keep it off is something stupid like 1%, and yo-yo dieting (which I've done all my life and is what has caused me to be this weight now) is proven to be worse for the body than being overweight in itself. At the moment my diet is extremely healthy- all homemade, nutritious food with very few UPF's. To lose weight quickly would require me to become more unhealthy by having WLS or doing something like the Cambridge weight plan, just to tick a box. My husband and I would be excellent parents regardless of our weight.