Hi,
I’ve been off contraception since Feb 2022, it took a while for my cycle to settle down and I had a polyp removed, but it’s pretty good now. My cycles are a bit short though they seem to be lengthening a bit which is good, 26 days is about right for me. I have low AMH of 6 at 37 and DP’s analysis came back fine for everything apart from motility but they think it was from the time taken to take it into the hospital so he did another one in there and we’re waiting on the results.
I had my ovaries checked and they found 9/10 eggs sitting there, and I get a nice thick lining too.
Consultant has given us a 10-15% chance at conceiving naturally within the next 12 months… which is obviously fairly shit, me and DP have started following a fair bit of the intermediate/advanced plan on It Starts With The Egg with the intention of giving it a few months longer and if no luck then IVF.
However, DP has started suffering from impotence. He used to struggle to ejaculate when we were first together but then it was fine, for years/months and now he’s going soft just before ejaculation and can’t finish. It’s incredibly frustrating for both of us, obviously. I always tell him it’s fine, it doesn’t matter, it’s just life, the more he stresses about it the worse it’ll get. And I suggested I could just not tell him when it’s my fertile time to keep some pressure off/ I didn’t used to tell him for this reason, but started to about 3 months ago when he was keener to be in on it all. But he says he wants to know.
He's a fair bit older than me at 57, I know it can come with age but I’m certain this is just stage fright, it’s just totally shit. I’m just coming up to ovulation, we already only dtd every other day in the fertile window because he’s never been able to finish 2 days running. He has no problems getting hard, and stays hard for a while but now it’s going soft before he finishes.
I don’t know what we should do 😔 IVF will have to be private as he has a child already, and it sounds really hard- god knows how I’ll fit it in with my job. But it’s so frustrating to be losing this fertile window and I feel like it’ll only get worse now he’s so stressed about it.
I think I won’t tell him when I’m fertile next, and try and have more sex at other times too (which I’m afraid just hadn’t been a priority) and see if that helps at all.
I know you can get devices like modern Turkey basters which say they take the pressure off, has anyone used one in a situation like this? I’m just feeling so shit about it all, and giving off an air of ‘it’s fine!’ To DP is exhausting. He knows it’s not really.