New job opportunity and IVF - advice please!

[Tryingtobepatient001]

Hoping I can get a bit of perspective or advice from all the lovely people on here.

A bit of background- TTC for over a year now and I’m reconciled to the fact that we will need IVF. We should get one round on the NHS, have had initial tests and should have our consultation in the next month or so.

Im currently in a job that isn’t great and I don’t particularly like, but pays well and I can WFH as and when is needed. I’ve just been offered a new job at a better company with more prospects. I should be excited, but all I can really think is I wish I was pregnant and this decision wasn’t on the table.

I really want to start IVF asap, I’ve got TTC really difficult and whilst I know there are absolutely no guarantees, it at least feels like we’re making positive steps forwards. My question is - with this on the horizon in the hopefully not too distant future, should I take a new job, or should I stick where I am? If I think positively I hope the new job would take my mind off TTC, but I’m worried I might just be adding even more stress into the mix??

Any thoughts on this would be gratefully received ❤

I can't see a reason for not taking the new job. What are your specific concerns?

In general, I think it's best to get on with living, rather than putting things on hold. IVF worked wonders for me (2 babies, 2 years apart, no failed transfers) but even then, with a straightforward case like mine, everything took longer than expected (had to have a blood test when a cyst was found - delay of 5 months, OHSS - delay of 2 months). You just don't know what's going to happen, so best to go for EVERYTHING you want. It may work out that you get pregnant quickly and wish you stayed put, but that's a better regret than missing out on the job if there are delays.

Agree with pp - don't put your life on hold for it. Sadly you could still be in the same position you are now in 1,2,3 years time. Best to have it running alongside life continuing as much as possible.

@SErunner @Holskey thanks so much for replying and giving your insight. I think you're right. My worry is that IVF will be really stressful, plus a new job on top might push me over the edge, but at the end of the day I could be waiting for another year for the IVF and I don't want to completely put my life on hold until then! Thanks for giving me some perspective 🙂

Hey @Tryingtobepatient001 ☺️
hope All is well! I was wondering how things have turned out for you so far, if you don’t mind me asking?

I'm in a very similar boat. Having initial tests done atm after TTC for 3 years, due to have the evaluation for IVF in 12 weeks. I hate my job and have a long commute so I’ve been looking at other jobs closer to home. I have an interview coming up for a job I really want for a much better company.
worried that if/when I get a new job, there’s a chance I’ll be starting IVF.

I’ve been putting new jobs on hold for a long time ‘just in case’ I got pregnant, and agree with other posts to crack on with life and go for jobs.
scary position to be in though!

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Hi OP - I was TTC for 12months and got pregnant naturally almost immediately when I quit my stressful job. It was sadly, a missed miscarriage.

With my first NHS round, it resulted in a chemical and I was also unhappy with that job (even worse than the first one but I took it out of desperation); I decided to not let the "maternity cover" factor affect my decision in changing jobs so I started looking for yet another new role.

I've been in my current job 18 months now and still TTC. I am very happy in this role, they offer much flexibilty to support work-life balance (and my IVF appointments!). So I think the questions to ask are:

• How unhappy are you in this current role? Does it affect your well-being?
• Do you have flexibility for IVF appointments in your current role? If not, it should be an easy decision..
• Are you bothered with getting maternity cover? If not, again it should be an easy decision.

At the end of the day, you have to be happy with your job as it affects your overall health (and eggs). Hope this helps!

I eventually took a new job after TTC a while and having already tried lower level fertility interventions and been on the IVF waiting list a while. I had my first NHS IVF consultation that same month that I started the new job, started treatment a few weeks later. And finally after many more rounds of IVF had my baby over 4 years later. I’m glad I didn’t wait around in my previous job.
Hopefully it won’t take you as long but don’t put life on hold would be my advice.

In a way it’s better to get the new job before you start to have less faff with qualifying weeks for maternity leave if all goes well.

From personal experience, you should never make life decisions based on your fertility journey. You simply don't know what's going to happen or when. I've been on this road for years and I have regrets about things I didn't do/ opportunities I didn't go for because of it.

The best thing to do is base your decisions on the idea that you will not be pregnant.

Hopefully you will be at some point, but don't let that lead you. You will deal with that if/ when it happens.

I’m glad other people are having the same dilemma! it’s hard to juggle the two, and difficult when none of my friends or family have been in this position. So it’s a mix bag of advise from people who don't understand.
It’s scary to make big changes whilst going through a difficult fertility journey.

Everyone has been super helpful!
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